You say something mean.
She returns the favor.
She digs her claws in deep, opening wounds that you thought were gone.
You retaliate and back her into a corner.
Then f-bombs, and tears, and frustration follows.
No one has heard the other. No one has listened. Ready to just be right or to make your next point. But no one during the entire argument got what the other person was trying to say.
So why are we so intrigued with the temptation to step into the pit of fire that we know we should have stayed away from? The pit of fire that once you’re in, there’s no turning back – it has you.
In the midst of it, you just want it to stop.
All the pain, all the hurtful remarks, all the deep seated hatred that no one spoke about until the fight. Why do we put ourselves through it?
If the two of you can’t hear each other and if nothing gets settled, what is the purpose of arguing? Is it ever a good thing?
I think arguing serves no other purpose other than to help you release.
Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, sometimes there is negative energy around that you can no longer put up with – you have to call it out, and sometimes you have to trust that it’s the right time to release someone from your life.
Getting some old stuff out so that you can make way for the new, is an essential part of your growth.
Somewhere along the line, you realize that you are two different people. Neither one of you is wrong – you are just on two different paths and aren’t right for each other at the time.
So you say your piece, and at the end when all the dust settles, you breathe it out, pray it out, meditate it out, and let it go.
You should never ever let anyone make you feel like bettering yourself or wanting more for your life is a crime, and if it takes a couple of f-bombs and other aggressive words to get that point across than so be it.
But what we do have to realize is that the argument is never about the other person. It’s for you to clarify what you will accept and what you won’t, what you are willing to put your time and attention into and what you are not, and what you are willing to hold on to and what you need to let go of.
That is the purpose of an argument, and it’s only a good thing because sometimes it helps you clarify and release things that are no longer serving you. It helps you release the people that don’t appreciate who you are as a person or what you’ve done for them.
After you have seen your side and her side, and you realize that you two are not good for each other, it’s time to move on.
I am not referring to just familial relationships, this could be any relationship that is taking your time and attention off of what’s important. If everything is an argument and there is no harmony there, it may be time for you to just move on to something new and better for you.
Not out of spite, not out of disrespect, but out of quite the contrary. You move on because you respect YOU, and you don’t have to put up with anything that makes you feel like less of yourself, saddened, or rejected. PERIOD.
So you move on.
Without any hatred or ill will towards the other, but also without you feeling like you have to be ashamed, embarrassed, or down on yourself either.
Stand up for yourself, and if that means that you have to let someone go in your life that can’t see your light – then so be it.
Thank you for reading!