How Do I Get This Ocean Outside Of Me?

For the past couple of days, something has felt off inside of me.

I have been so emotional.

The tears that I have cried over the past couple of days have been tears of sadness, accompanied with thoughts like: Who am I? Why am I here? What was I really made for? And why is the current way I am expressing myself, causing me to feel tension inside?

Yesterday night, after I settled down from the tears, I received a vision.

I was in the ocean surfing some beautiful waves. My logical mind wanted to disrupt the vision because riding big waves is impossible for me. For one, I am terrified of being in the middle of the ocean and for two, I can’t swim.

I trusted the vision however, and sat with the energy for a few minutes after it was done. I felt great after the vision and thought, wow that was wonderful – now only if I could do that in real life.

I got up this morning with the intention of just taking it easy. I was going to just let the day flow and just take whatever came my way. I didn’t want to get too much in the mind or pay too much attention to anything today. I just kind of wanted it to be an easy day.

Throughout the day, as I was on some social media sites I felt very emotional again, but this time I wasn’t crying tears of sadness. They were tears of joy, and they seemed to come forward for the littlest things.

Several quotes made me cry this morning.

Several pictures that I looked at made me cry.

Just seeing people in their natural states of being made me cry.

It was very weird to say the least, but I trusted that the New tears were a part of the process.

Out of nowhere I was drawn to this video where Kate Northrup (author and truth seeker) was interviewing Meggan Watterson (author and self proclaimed spiritual misfit) on Glimpse TV.

Meggan said something so profound, and it summed up the feelings that I have been feeling during this spiritual journey.

On my spiritual journey I have felt this feeling inside that I could not define until I heard Meggan say, how do I get this ocean outside of me?

The lightbulb went off, and I said, yes that’s it!

That is what I was feeling.

That is the tension inside that I didn’t know how to express, and she had summed it up perfectly.

It’s so true. You start out on this road knowing there is so much inside, but for some reason it seems too powerful to express.

Perhaps you were told to keep quiet in the past, or maybe your sensitivity, power, and presence were not appreciated throughout your life, or maybe you hold back out of fear that if you open your heart again, someone will take your best work (your heart, your love, and your sentiments), and stomp on them.

You’ve been heartbroken in the past, and you don’t trust opening your heart again or sharing yourself freely with others. I found a quote this morning that helps remedy those feelings.

Let your heart crumble into an infinite amount of tiny, precious seeds. Then plant love everywhere you go. InstagramView On Instagram

All of the above are reasons why I haven’t allowed the ocean of love, knowledge, and compassion to flow forth from me freely. The uneasiness that I feel is that ocean inside saying, it’s time to let go, it’s time to trust, it’s time to link with your real flow, but I keep denying its powerful presence into my life.

So the vision of the waves that I received from this morning showed me that I was getting ready to finally link with information that could help me move forward in a powerful way.

It is a beautiful feeling to see that your soul and your intuition are guiding you to the information that you need to hear.

So I am on a quest now to find out – how do I get this ocean outside of me?

I have done a pretty good job by releasing some of my heart and soul into different areas (my books, my Writing Heart on Tumblr, my Instagram site, my Pinterest boards, my Soul Guidance site, etc), but I feel there is something more – something bigger, that is trying to be expressed – something profound.

I can feel it trying to break through, but I still have these walls up, and it’s having a difficult time getting in.

I realized today that now is the time to surrender to the wave, to the flow, to life, and to trust that what is coming is beautiful and will reconcile these mixed feelings and heal alot of hearts.

It’s time to surrender and really openheartedly trust the flow of life without fear, without apprehension, and without apologies.

Thank you so much for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

If you like this post, don’t forget to hit like, comment, share, and subscribe.

Photo Credit

When Life Seems Difficult – There Is Always Guidance Around

Soul Guidance Consultation

As an intuitive guide, I know how important it is to feel connected.

Unfortunately however, life can sometimes throw us situations that seem very difficult to navigate through and we tend to lose that connection.

It is very important that you know, there is always guidance around to assist you.

If you are having difficulty in any area of your life, try giving Ray (my spirit guides) a try. Their messages are always offered with love, sincerity, and respect. They are excellent with helping you find ways to heal, acknowledge your true worth, and unlock your potential.

If you resonate with the messages here and on the website, an Inner Work Session may be the right path for you.

We look forward to working with you.

P.S. Trust your intuition. You have the ability to rendezvous with the right guidance at the right time, and we are here to help.

Visit the “Inner Work Sessions” page via the website for more information.

 Renee
Intuitive Guide

xoxoxo

Are You Having Trouble Manifesting?

Manifestation

You may feel like,

I’ve tried and tried, but nothing’s working.

To me, there is nothing worse than feeling disconnected, like I don’t belong, or like my power has somehow ran out.

I am sure many of you have felt the same way at one point and time, or you may be feeling that way right now.

When I start to feel disconnected and like I can’t manifest what I desire or need, I start to look up stories about manifestation.

Let me tell you – it works wonders. 

You see, you aren’t broken when you can’t manifest. Sometimes, your energy is just stuck in a space that it feels difficult to get out of. The key to manifesting however, is to ease up on the disempowered or disappointed feelings that you have inside, and move back in the direction of belief.

Try it.

If you have been having difficulty manifesting – look up stories about people who have manifested things in their life. Be careful, it may cause miracles!

Here’s A Little Help – YouTube Stories Of Manifestation.

You also need to realize that you are not broken.

What if the only thing standing in between you and manifesting what you desire is the feelings of disappointment that you have inside about not receiving it? If we go even a little deeper – you feeling like you can’t manifest may be standing in the way as well. What if the solution to rekindling your manifestation flame was to build up the belief in yourself again?

It’s simple to do.

All you have to do is move out of the feelings of fear and disappointment, and back in the direction of the feelings of belief and optimism. Look up some manifestation stories, and let me know if hearing those stories shift anything inside of you.

If you have a short manifestation story, please don’t hesitate to share your story with us in the comments section. I will go ahead and add a short manifestation story of my own in the comments section as well. It doesn’t matter if the manifestation was big or small, it only matters that we share our experiences so that others may get inspired.

Thanks for reading!

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit 

Getting Naked & Vulnerable

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Living From The Heart Days 12-15

Honestly for the past few days I just could not bring myself to get on the computer and type anything on WordPress. Writing from the heart (for me) is all about inspired writing. Over the past few days I just was not inspired to write anything. I guess a few things had to happen in order for me to get the inspiration to write – so here I am. The past few days have been interesting. I want to speak a little bit about presence today. I’ll start with a short story.

The other day I went to purchase my Christmas tree. When I got it home I literally hugged the tree and felt its presence. I know it sounds crazy to say that I connected with the tree, but I did. Its presence just felt like home to me. I am not talking about the homes where you grow up with nana and pop-pop or the homes where your mom and dad raise you; I am talking about that bare unforgiving presence that just demands your attention {now that’s what I call HOME}.

It’s an internal feeling of home. That feeling of being naked, vulnerable, open, and adored anyway. It is just a tree, but it brings such a spirit of comfort to my home that I cannot even adequately explain the feelings in words. It has a natural, peaceful, stable presence that just fills my home with love. I look at the tree now – all dressed up with the ornaments, lights, and shimmery garland  and I think to myself… it doesn’t even need all of that stuff for me to feel my connection to its presence.

The Same Is True About Us

We don’t even need all of that stuff. The makeup, the cars, the jobs, the clothes are just a mask hiding the real us. I realized that if I could just be truly comfortable with who I am – my true presence would shine through. I loose confidence in my real self because the false self is the one that gets the credit and recognition, while the real self remains hidden.

I am in no way shape or form saying that I am an impostor sitting here writing to you, but I am saying that I hold back sometimes. Sometimes out of fear of sounding stupid or awkward. I shape my words so that they will make sense to others. I try to dress the articles up with pictures and quotes that make sense and that are appealing. The truth is, people are just looking for honesty. All that other stuff is just the icing on the cake.

For some of us we feel too open and too vulnerable in our real presence. There is something wrong with our real presence we feel. Let’s be clear… there isn’t really anything wrong with being open and vulnerable it’s just that so many of us are paying attention to our false sense of beauty that we forget what our real beauty is.

Our real selves have no drama attached, no bias, no gossip, and juicy details to share. Our real selves have no makeup to hide behind, no calories to count, or things to want. Our real selves have the nerve to just be what they are. Not to fit in – not to get checks – not for more likes or approval, but our true selves have the goddamn audacity to stand in a room and say, “take me as I am. I am not catering, shifting, or molding myself to fit your ideal image. I was simply born to be.”

How bold and beautiful is that outlook?

Now, How Do I Get Closer To That Presence?

I’ve figured it all out. Not! I have one small step. Just one little itty bitty baby step that might lead you in the right direction of becoming more authentic, living naked, and telling people to shove it {joking}.

Simply do what you believe is right.

The other day I had someone really test my character and my beingness. I had a very hostile experience.  I will try to make this story as short as possible. About a month or so ago I created an art site on Tumblr featuring ebony art paintings. My intention was to draw attention to beautiful black art and have the people who followed or viewed the site take a detour to the art sites and see what appealed to them. Unfortunately, me posting from their URL’s didn’t work properly so it looked like I was taking art photos and just copying them to my page without giving the artists any credit. SO FAR FROM WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO…

Anyway, some people started a blog attacking my whole character and calling me a thief. They said I was stealing black art, putting it on my site to basically get views, and not giving credit to the appropriate art sites. To make a long story short, the theme I chose for Tumblr did not link back to the original sites so I could see where their assumptions came from. Instead of informing me of this they posted nasty messages on my Tumblr site and just basically were acting completely inconsiderate and hostile.

A Test Of My Real Character

I was mortified. Not only was that some kind of attention that I definitely did not want to attract, my reputation was also on the line. How would I look? What would people think? Would people take my image and connect it to the title “thief”. My defenses immediately went up. I thought about lashing out on them, but something stopped me. I thought to myself, “who am I and would that response be representing me in the best way?”

I stopped, took a deep breath, and posted a :::Keep Calm & Carry On::: picture to my site on Tumblr. I then wrote a message apologizing to all the followers who had to witness such ridiculousness. After that, I wrote to the hostile critics and directed them to the post that explained exactly what happened and what my intentions were so that they could get the real truth behind what was going on. I thought that would calm their assumptions, but apparently they didn’t believe my story and kept attacking my character. After that, I went to each picture and placed in the comments the credit source to where to find the art. I then gracefully bowed out of that argument. I knew from their constant continuation (even after I had explained myself) that they weren’t out to rectify things, they were just out to attack.

Let’s be clear… I am not going to argue just for argument’s sake. It doesn’t get anyone anywhere.

I simply corrected the situation by adding the credits as I originally intended to do and I let the rest of that drama rest. I simply did what I believed was the right thing to do.

Now the “small me” would have tried to hide their comments, delete what they said, or would have deleted the blog all together, but the “real me” said, “here’s a chance to show your true character.” The “small me” would have avoided the hostility at all costs, but the “wise me” said, “you have nothing to hide here. You know what your intentions were, just do your best to fix it up the best you can.”

It was a small step, but I was happy that I stood up for myself and didn’t let what they said about me bully me into taking down the Tumblr page.

I want to end this story with a quote…

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. {Author Unknown}

I Want To Share This With You

I want to share a wonderful video with you. A little while ago while visiting the NeuroNotes Blog I was introduced to a researcher named Brené Brown. Brené is famous for her TED Talks on Vulnerability and I would like to share one with you. The video will be at the end of this post.

In Closing

We have the chance in every moment to be more of ourselves, to be naked, to be true to what we believe in and are. This video is all about the journey to that authenticity. Brené speaks crazy talk about “reserving seats” for your critics and about embracing them. Boy did I ever have to do that these past couple of days. In addition to that, she talks about the right to be yourself even regardless of what they say.

I am learning how to do that step by step. As I learn – I share because I know that I am not the only one on this journey through discovering our true selves.

We are all trying to figure out how to be better people and how to find home (that internal feeling of being at peace with who you are and unapologetic for it) within ourselves. Do what you believe is right. No one can take that from you. It’s not a prop, a mask, or a costume, it’s who you are. Embrace it.

I will leave you with a quote.

The ache for home lives in all of us – the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. {Maya Angelou}

Thanks for reading and here’s the video!

finished-heart Nay

Thanks For Commenting, Subscribing, & Sharing!

Finding Your Soul Mate

Key

Living From The Heart Day 8

It’s much easier than you think. What if I told you that your soul mate is easy to find?

There is a love that stands the test of time. One that runs deeper than anything you’ve ever felt. A passion that is unmet. There is a love story that all other love stories fail in comparison to.

Let me explain this in the easiest way that I know how.

Your Soulmate = A Match To Your Soul

What if I told you, that’s what you were looking for? You are looking to match up with your soul.

In yesterday’s article |||The #1 Thing That’s Killing Your Joy|||, I spoke about the most important relationship in your life (the relationship between you and your higher self). If that relationship is not tended to properly, it shows in all areas of your life.

Sometimes there is a miscommunication about the meaning of God. There is a miscommunication about who God is (who’s this God character anyway), what HE is about (why is God only a he), and what he wants from you (wink, wink).

First, lets play around with a concept.

What If God Was A Dream?

Think About It

I mean an actual dream. Like the ones you have about what you want to be when you grow up. What if God was more than an image? What if God was a concept? An idea? A Vision? A Passion?

GOD is the dream. Much like a dream of becoming a writer, a dancer, or a musician.

From the moment you are born, you have an energy  that says, “You and I are one.” Along the road of life we get caught up in things and sometimes that connection dwindles. The energy then says, “We belong together.”

In essence your God energy is powerful, untamed, unfiltered, knowing, confident, sure, alive, joyful, indulgent, certain, skilled, and intuitive.

We, As In Human Beings, Are Looking To BE The Representation Of That Energy.

Be

A lot of people think that they can form this connection by things outside of themselves. I must agree that I too, was looking for love in all of the wrong places. We look for love in our jobs, our cars, our significant other, our children, and many other things outside of ourselves.

The deepest connection can only be made by you familiarizing yourself with the idea of God, knowing that you are reaching for that highest expression, and then finding a way to honor that birthright. Your birthright is the right to embody & flow God. There are many different ways to honor that #1 relationship, but first you must know that your higher self is your soulmate and that you belong together.

People tend to see God – up high. While imagining they are – down low. We often tend to see God as an outside being or entity.

God is an energy, an idea, a dream that we aspire to.

Think of the trilogy – The Father, The Son, & The Holy Spirit.

  • The Father – Being The Dream or Aspiration
  • The Son – Being The Physical Representation Of That Energy – Dealing With Setbacks & Difficulties
  • The Holy Spirit – Being The Energy or State Of Being That Allows The Free Flow Of God

When we are in our flow (holy spirit), we are balanced. When we see God as separate from us, looking down on us, mocking and criticizing us, we get off balance. That view is a skewed view.

How about reimagining your image of God? How about seeing God as a knowing energy that just wants to flow through you to experience (in physical reality) what it knows? It knows itself to be love and wants to experience the love of its SELF.

Trust

We doubt ourSELF sometimes, get caught up in things that divert our attention from the main goal, and even get terrified when the dream seems too big for us to accomplish. This energy is powerful. It doesn’t doubt, it doesn’t worry, it doesn’t fear. It just is. So it could feel very overwhelming to have this BIG energy over you that you have to live up to. But soften it a bit and don’t think of it as something that you have to live up to. Think of it as something that you are, and all you are doing is allowing that energy to flow into your experience as often as possible.

The purpose of life is to experience that flow as often as possible. I started to say manage, but then (we humans) would make that into another job. Let’s be clear. This is not a job. This is WHO WE ARE. It’s the whole point of existence. Not a chore, not a task, not an obligation, but a joy. A joy to feel and know who and what we are.

The Best State Of Being To Allow This Energy

Well the first thing is realizing that you want to flow in this energy in the most harmonious way.

It’s not that difficult when you have a partner (your inner being) that will never leave you, is a lifelong partner, and your ideal mate.

My inner being led me to decode another dream today, and this is where I am receiving all of this information. I am so interested when I see the pieces of this puzzle come together. I never know what I am going to write entirely. Things start connecting and pieces start showing up, it’s just truly amazing. I love feeling this energy out, and getting use to it.

In my dream there was a boy that was watching me tear the house apart looking for my phone. The boy just sat there quietly playing a video game, undisturbed, nonjudgmental, and not worried, and kind of just observed me looking for my phone. That was an aspect of myself that was in its natural flow. That is how God is all of the time. God knows we aren’t in any real trouble. God is unharmed, not offended, and knowingly present. When I calmed down in the dream I found my phone. The dream had other trinkets and treasure, but in order to fit this all in, I will share a couple key points.

The most significant things that I learned from decoding my dream are:

  1. Nothing Is Ever Lost – It Only Evolves
  2. Everything Is Working In Our Favor

My aunt’s house was the first place that I ever got my heart broken. I had a bear that I carried around with me everywhere. This bear was no bigger than my hand is now. If I slept, it slept. If I ate, it ate. If I went to the bathroom, well you know the rest. I slept over my aunt’s house one weekend and left my bear on her bed. I never saw it again. I tried to get them to find it, but they insisted that it wasn’t there. I probably cried all night long.

Now, was that experience created to hurt me? Of course not, but my 6 year old mind could not fathom ever being without that bear. I’m pretty sure I probably wanted to die. This is how we often feel when we feel torn apart from our source energy. It breaks our heart. That experience happened so that I could realize two things this day…

  1. The bear was just a symbol for the connection between me and my inner being. It wasn’t the prime connection.
  2. Nothing can take that connection from you.

For me, that hidden layer of feeling lost or feeling like I had lost something, moved into other areas of my life. For the past few years I have been struggling with my passion and have been trying to reconnect to that flow. The struggling that I’m feeling is in connection with me feeling a loss from losing my job. It’s not that I actually even lost my job; I quit my job, but my mind still sees that event as a loss. It’s very difficult to move forward when you have the idea that you lost something, instead of the idea that you are going towards what you are meant to do.

Nothing is ever a loss. I realized that one day when I thought about my bear that I lost from childhood. I started seeing bow ties everywhere that day. My attention was drawn to them. After a while it hit me. I burst out in laughter because I realized that it was showing me my bear in many different ways. My bear had a bow tie that I use to always look at. It stood out to me that day so that I could realize the essence of that bear’s presence was still alive and well.

Winding Down

I know things get tough, but don’t forget to look for God in all things. Even in the situations where it seems the hardest and the darkest – God is there. If a relationship went, that means it was time to go. Not to break your heart, but to find you a better match to your soul. I am now able to let go of the idea that I am struggling because I quit my job. I am now able to let that go. You are a witness to this huge event because that idea has been eating me alive for a while. I now know that everything in life is there to move you in the direction of your greatest expression.

Find a way to honor your soul mate. The one will will never leave you, that one that will find you anywhere that you go, and the one who will turn this world upside down searching for a way to bring you home again if you get lost.

Your inner being wants you to be at peace with who you really are. Doubt, worry, fear, constant rejection of the ideas and yourself only rips you apart.

You have to know that the Self is fearless, accommodating, energetically aligned, balanced, stable, confident, gentle, open, and wise.

Grab a mirror, look your soul mate in the eyes and say:

{I Got You}

In Closing

All of this information came from decoding one dream. There is so much information packed into our center of knowledge that it is just unfathomable. I can’t even explain how much information is trying to come through. I will say however, I enjoy making sense of all of this complexity. I will continue to try and balance this new emerging energy, and will just take it one step at a time.

Thanks in advance for reading, commenting, sharing, and subscribing.

finished-heart Nay

Day 1: Living From The Heart

Day 1

Getting Use To This

Like any new project, idea, or beginning, things take some time getting used to. When I first started the day it felt very normal. You know the usual routine, get up – eat breakfast – wash – get dressed – etc. Everything was normal during the first half of the day. The purpose of this |||30 Day Living From The Heart||| challenge is not to change what I am doing, but how I think.

I started the day by painting and listening to music. I must say that music, especially from the genres that I enjoy the most, is very uplifting. No matter what kind of mood you are in, listening to music can lift your spirits right away.

Here are a few of the videos that I have on my music playlist.

Poetry

I even tried writing some poetry. Sometimes we can’t express what we want to say in simple terms. Perhaps we have secrets that we don’t want shared or things that we are too afraid to acknowledge. Those things stay buried inside. Eating away at you until you find a way to release them. Here is a small part of the poem that I created today. I got to write freely about something that has been bothering me for a while. Here is a small part of that poem. The poem is titled {Sweet Vanilla}.

Words cannot define how it feels to be trapped in its elusive – intrusive presence. While feeling so guilty inside. Indulge, it says. No I can’t. Its stare is penetrating and it demands… my attention, my affection, my love, and misdirection. All because of its beautiful scent. Its highly, erotically, manipulatively deceptive.

Change Of Mood

Some days I get extremely tired. The fact that I get drained is written all over my face at times. My intention for the day was to keep myself in high spirits no matter what. I was talking to someone today and they said to me,” You seem really happy. Your spirit is high.” I smiled because I deliberately wanted to be in higher spirits today and I guess it showed. His comment was confirmation that my energy shifted a bit. The only advice that I can give to people trying to sync with the flow of their true nature is to just take it one day at a time. Step by step. No more – no less.

Spiral Of Desire

I decided to write down all the things I want in my life. They say once you write it down it in some way makes things tangible. You can see it and remind yourself of what’s important to you. I decided to make two spirals. A beautiful love life and passionate work are very important to me. Here are the two spirals that I made. The purpose of this is to just get you in the flow of what you would like in your life regardless of what subject you are referring to.

Small Insight

I did receive a small flash of insight today. I read a quote today:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. {Buddha}

I don’t know why that particular quote stuck out to me. I started thinking about all the times that I do my best to pamper someone else, put all my effort into making sure my books are presentable, prepare dinner to serve to others, and worry about what others will think or feel by what I say. It never dawned on me that life is just trying to show me: the same attention, love, and courtesy that you give to them – give to yourself. I don’t know why that never occurred to me. That message rang loud and clear.

We too often give others the benefit of the doubt, stress ourselves out to make other people happy, and jump hurdles to make sure that our loved ones are taken care of and not offended by what we say or do. How often do we give that same courtesy to ourselves, deliberately? It’s almost like we have to be tricked into giving love to ourselves sometimes. We have to wait until some holiday, or until we finish school, land a job, or get seen in the public eye to really appreciate ourselves. How about all that love that you show to others, you turn just a little bit back in your own direction? It was just interesting because I know that I have heard people say many times to love yourself, but for some reason that quote just stood out to me today.

In Closing

Today was okay. I made it the best that I could, and I am looking forward to tomorrow being even better. I plan on going to sleep to the soothing sounds of nature mixed with soft music. That helps me get a jump start on the next day. Good night all! Sweet dreams and blessings!

My request to the universe tonight: I would like to be a part of something exciting, meaningful, and heartwarming.

finished-heart Nay