What Is Your Calling?

Purpose

I want you to consider something that you may have never heard before in reference to your calling. It may seem like you have searched high and low for the “thing” that you were put on earth to do, and you’re still looking. I am glad that you’re here because I want you to consider this idea

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The Negativity Received For Being A Stay At Home Mom

negativity

Man, being a mother is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.

You would think that people would support the idea of you working from home and tending to your child, but the truth is – they don’t.

Some tend to think that just because you “stay home” – you have an “easy life”.

That is furthest from the truth.

I feel myself having to defend my position of being a stay at home mom and wanting to work from home, and I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal to other people.

I mean, you really can’t understand why I am not rushing out the door to go work for another company when all I see are angry posts all up and down my Facebook feed about how people hate their jobs?

The traditional route, for some people is okay, but for me, I need more freedom than that.

I mean a steady paycheck is nice, but I’d honestly rather take my chances with doing something I love (running my Soul Guidance business and writing), rather than following someone else’s plan for my life.

Although I am putting my time and effort into my new business and raising my son, people still look at me and wonder when I am going to get a real job.

People tend to form a cruel opinion about people who “stay at home” or that don’t go out to work the “traditional route” to support themselves.

I’ve even received angry words from my own sister about my chosen path, and I must admit that it hurts. It hurts because instead of her realizing that I am trying to follow my own creative path, she thinks that I am being irresponsible by not working a regular job.

To some people it’s all about the money.

They work and work and work – spend all day in someone else’s dream and barely have any time to spend with their family. Yes they make money and put food on the table, but you can’t see that you’re eating your meals at 11 pm, in a comatose state, barely able to enjoy those moments because you are thinking about the next day when you have to wake up and do it all again.

I can’t live like that – I want, desire, and am moving in the direction of a different way. I am sorry if that seems lazy to you, or irresponsible, or not worthy of gaining your approval.

I have a 10 month old son – a rambunctious, hardheaded, love him to death, but gets into everything – son. That is work enough in itself! That is two full time jobs! I love him to death, but those of you who have sons will understand where I am coming from – he is a handful.

On top of that, I offer my time and resources providing Inner Work Sessions to those who are looking for guidance in their life and on their chosen path as well. If that is not enough for some people, than I don’t know what to do for you. I don’t know what to say either.

I realize one thing though.

I shouldn’t have to defend this position. I shouldn’t have to explain to people why I chose a different route. Those who truly know me and understand where I am coming from will support me, and those who don’t – won’t, and I have to learn to be okay with that.

I don’t want someone else dictating what time I can go to the bathroom, when I can take my breaks, or how much time I can take off – to take care of myself. I need a different set-up than that. So I chose to let that route go, and follow my heart into something else that I believe works better with the vision I have for my life.

When you start to follow your dreams, some people do anything they can to bring you down or to try to snap you back into reality (the reality that they want you to live in). The reason they do this is because if you have the courage to follow your dreams – they no longer have an excuse not to follow theirs.

I know what I want for my life, I know who I am, and I give myself full permission to follow the path that I believe will work for me.

I hope you give yourself full permission to do the same.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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Declarations For The Day

I am growing in my business.

I am shining my light.

I am living authentically.

I am radiating my true essence.

I am tapped into inner wisdom.

I have a great relationship with my higher self.

I help others access their inner wisdom.

I help others find relief, purpose, and their true self.

I am wealthy.

I am prosperous.

I am giving.

I am connected.

I am backed by all that is.

I am divinely protected.

I am a beacon.

I am radiantly beautiful.

My smile changes the world.

My presence uplifts people.

My meditations help heal.

My love heals.

My attention heals.

My spirit heals.

I am living in a beautiful neighborhood.

I have a beautiful home.

I feel one with my environment.

I feel safe in my environment

I  have more than enough money.

I feel at least 10 aha’s per day.

I share.

I care.

I teach people how to be themselves and how to discover how great that is.

Self-Discovery is awesome and who knew I had so much inside.

I am healthy, wealthy, happy, and whole.

Thanks for reading!

 Nay

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Advice About Quitting Your Job – From Someone Who Actually Did It

quitting

There Could Be A Number Of Reasons Why You Want To Leave Your Job

It could be that you want to follow your passion and do something that you love. It could be that you tired of working so much for so little. It could be the atmosphere of the job (negative co-workers or an overbearing boss). No matter what the reason is, I want to just acknowledge that your feelings matter, your desires matter, and that there is a reason for everything.

Four Years Ago, I Quit My Job

The only reason that I left was for the freedom. I didn’t feel that I fit into the direction the company was going, and honestly going into that job made me feel like less and less of myself everyday.

I don’t want to discourage you with this post, but I do want you to know that before you decide to take that leap of faith into the unknown, it may be beneficial to consider a few things first.

I Want You To Follow Your Heart – I Do

But sometimes we wind up moving too quickly, and we make things more difficult for ourselves than they need to be. I wish someone would’ve shared their knowledge with me before I quit my job. So here are some things to consider before you leave your job.

I want you to have everything you desire, and I want you to do it through the path of least resistance. So here are some tips from someone who actually had the courage, during a recession, to leave her job.

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Truth Be Told Tuesday

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I am not a writer.

Let me be clearer. I am not a writer in the traditional sense. It all depends on what your definition of a writer is. I have read countless blogs and articles that list the criteria for allowing yourself to be called a “writer”.

You have to #1 be making a living at writing according to some.

You have to #2 love to read, and I mean alot.

You have to #3 know all the rules of writing. Spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and the difference between lay and lie – shoot me now.

You have to #4 be in some way associated with a big name publisher or if “self-published” have had to hit the $1,000,000 mark. Okay maybe not a million dollars but somewhere in the 100’s of thousands. 

You have to had #5 attended some kind of college and earned a fancy degree.

You have to #6 know all the great poets and authors of the past and somewhere in your life you should have studied their works, and the list goes on and on.

If the things above are the criteria for being called a writer, then I have to be honest with you – I AIN’T IT. Slang intended.

Let me elaborate.

Point # 1 – I am not making anywheres near a million dollars for any of the 7 self-published books that I have written. As I am matter of fact – I haven’t even made $70 for the 7 self-published books that I have written. One of my books – Mother Father God – has over 7400 reads right now. Do you know what that would translate into if those people actually decided to BUY my book? But nope, they didn’t. They just chose to read it online for free, which is all good, but I gotta eat too.

Point # 2 – When I think about having to go back and learn everything there is to know about sentence structure and grammar, I literally become sick to my stomach. I cringe at the thought of having to go back to the elementary level of understanding how to use lay and lie in a sentence. Because everyone knows that to be an author, you can’t be asked the difference between some of the most used words in writing and not know how the hell to explain their usage.

My mind is bombarded with so much information everyday that I can’t even remember my middle name sometimes.

Point # 3 – It’s so difficult for me to be able to allow myself to be called a writer. I see other authors and they have piles of books, that they love to read, and that they review effortlessly. While I, have piles of books, that are sitting on my bookshelf, that are collecting dust as we speak. Some authors can tell you a quote from almost every famous author. While I, can barely remember the names of the author’s books that I just read.

So why the hell, if I don’t have any of those attributes, do I keep writing anyway? I mean why am I drawn to it? Why even keep creating stories if I don’t have what it takes to be called a writer?

I guess I read differently than some others do. I guess sometimes it doesn’t take a book to know how to read and write in a way that people can understand. I read emotions and energy. I can feel the spirit of those who’ve passed away still wanting to create, and I love when I am in my flow enough to receive those insights of information.

But still, the rules say you have to be known, you have to make money at it, you have to love to read – and alot. But I don’t like to read alot. Don’t get me wrong; I do what I have to do, but it’s a chore to me. Especially when I know that there is inspiration circling around me right here right now. There is energy around right now just waiting to be translated into words.

When I get a new book, I open the book and start flipping through the pages. I look at the alignment of the writing, the font that the company chose to print the book in, the margins, the front cover and back cover. I honestly get more excited about how perfect the book feels than what the author actually wrote about. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the truth.

I love to write. I really do. I love the idea that I can put feelings into words. I love the idea that a few words written in the right way can heal someone’s life. When I think of my dream job it doesn’t include a mob of people, standing outside in zero degree weather, waiting to sign my book. It doesn’t include being the boss of several people and managing their time, tasks, and schedules. It doesn’t even include being involved with a ton of people at all.

When I think of my dream job, I think of being tucked away cozily in warm room, next to a fireplace, with a computer on my lap, and a hot beverage on the table in front me. In that room there may be four other people – an editor, a real friend to tell me when my writing isn’t making sense or sounds like bullshit, my son, and my significant other. That’s it. That is all I really need.

I would have magazines with pictures all around, a book or two that really touches my heart, a sketch pad to doodle, some candy, and a coke.

I would skim through the pictures, read some chapters from the two books, dig deep online for meaningful articles, maybe go for a walk to get some fresh air, go back inside and dig some more online, watch a little tv, kiss and play with my son, yell at my significant other, and then when I am all done collecting that data from those many different (and relevant) sources, I would sit down and start to type.

As a matter of fact, I was visiting Marie Forleo’s website (how to create a business and life you love) the other day and I came across a testimonial video from the artist Lou Niestadt. It was so inspiring to see an author/illustrator doing what she loved, in her zone, and working from home.

I don’t see myself in large crowds or fighting through crazed fans to get to my seat. I see myself in my home, comfortable with who I am, inspired by the life I live, and guided by the divine to pour my heart out. After which, I would hand my draft over, it would be modified and corrected by those who know the “outside world” a little better than I, and then the finished copy sent to be turned into a book. Which I can sell online. That is what my dream job would be.

I am not a traditional writer. I am not interested in alot of wild fame. Although I do love a good heartfelt thank you from time to time and I do want what I write to touch people’s hearts. I am not interested in digging through history to find the right words to say when I know that they can be inspired right now from where I am. I am not interested in earning some fancy degree just for the sake of saying that I have one.

I desire real authentic relationships, passion that comes from the heart and soul, and a “flow like water” type of expression. I can feel people deeply. I can feel the calling from the energy around, and that type of knowing is not always appreciated. Sometimes it’s just not good enough. That type of knowing can’t get you a degree, or awards, or even recognition.

But the thing that keeps me going even though I don’t have the knowledge like some others, is the idea that I may find another way to live my passion. The idea that I may not have to go back and learn everything all over again.

The idea that maybe there is a way for me to really do what I love. I am not a shy person, but I am personal. I have always been that way, and will always probably be. The way that I share with the world is through my words. When I can’t say something I write it. It’s how I free myself, my thoughts, the worlds I have inside of me, my fears, and my disappointments.

I am on a mission to create the perfect place for me and my unique personality. I know it exists. I am not the only one that loves the home life. I am not the only one that values security and stability without wanting to sit in a cubicle in someone else’s dream. I know that I cannot be the only one that feels this way. So I will put my wish out to the universe.

I am not a traditional writer universe – nope that’s not me. But I am kind and I am considerate. I pay attention to what I write and how I present it to the world. I am extremely organized and I love the idea of creation. I love the idea of genuine relationships. I love juicy discussions and deep revelations. I love to dig and probe into the soul of person to find out what they really feel. I can usually feel the heart of a person. Not just what they say or what they present to the world. I can feel when something just clicks or I am deeply connected to someone. I am a solitary person and I love to work alone, but will work with others that I can call “family”.

I am loyal, dedicated, and will give every ounce of me if I feel that the job is a right fit for me.

So if anyone is looking for someone like me or connects to my words or work, let’s talk. Who knows – we may collaborate on a project, I may work for you one day, or maybe we just become good friends, and we all know those are hard to come by.

Thank you for reading!

Do you have anything that you would like to confess for Truth Be Told Tuesday? If so, go to the top of the post and click “leave a comment” to share your story. If you prefer to post your response on your own blog, just add the words “Truth Be Told Tuesday” somewhere in your post and link back to this article.

I look forward to hearing your response.

finished-heart Nay

Day 5: Living From The Heart

Day 5

Starting It Off

Living from the heart means being honest. Honest about your feelings, your experiences, and what you are going through. When I started this challenge I in no way shape or form thought that I was going to be 100% positive all of the time. It’s just not possible. Instead, I know that I am going to make mistakes, fall back into old patterns, and probably throw a couple of things out of frustration.

The whole point of this process is not to be perfect. It’s to learn to channel my emotions into a direction that is better for me and those around me. If I can learn to get some kind of grip on my emotions – then and only then – will I be able to express genuinely and in way that people connect with.

With That Said

I want to share something with you. I shed a few tears as I was writing this letter to Hannah Brencher – creator of moreloveletters.com. I got to the point today where I was just tired of being unseen and unheard. I wrote a letter being brutally honest about what I am going through. I am sure Hannah has a bunch of letters to look through, and I am not even sure that she will get mine, but I had to do something to reach out for some help.

Here is the letter that I wrote to Hannah. It is the letter in its entirety. I don’t like spelling mistakes so I did correct a couple of the things that I spelled wrong in the letter, but the rest of the letter is exactly what I wrote to her. I am sharing this with you because it’s the truth.

I welcome your comments and feedback.

I am just at a point in my life where I am trying to reinvent and break new ground while battling some very strong demons that are holding me back. So here it is.

Sign

Letter To Hannah

Dear Hannah,

I know you must be inundated with requests from people all over the world who want to hear some words from your loving heart. I am one of those people. I can only hope that somehow through the bundle of emails you receive, my heart connects with yours and you find time enough to send a reply. No matter how short or how long – I appreciate it. 

I don’t know where to begin. I guess I will start by saying my life feels like a mess for no one particular reason at all. The heaviest things on my heart right now are the inability to find my place in this world and  feeling like a failure. 

Almost 3 years ago I quit my job. It was a secure position with great benefits and I was working my way up the ladder to really make a difference in that financial institution. There, they always considered me a team leader, even though I often shied away from the role. One day after being told again at my job that I was too quiet, something hit me – why couldn’t I just be me. The one behind the scenes that gave the members the kind of dedication and service they deserved. The one whose value didn’t show in the selling of products, but in the customers who called back and said, “I’ve never been treated so properly in all of my life.” 

Instead my sales numbers were too low. I was constantly scolded for it and for not taking the position as a team leader. I wasn’t selling enough and the way I chose to involve myself with the group wasn’t good enough either. Everyone use to come to me for help, like I was the manager, but because I wasn’t loud, boisterous, and outspoken like some of my other colleagues, my other skills went unnoticed. I winded up being late often and my performance started slipping because I was miserable. So I quit. Not to spite them, but so that I would no longer be a burden to that company with my foul mood and insecurities. 

I must say that decision was one of the worst and the best decisions I ever made in my life. The worst because I lost my financial freedom. The best because I actually had time to focus on my writing. I love to write. I love to express. No matter how raw, dirty, or enormously loving it may be. There is something about forming words into a story that just has my heart.

The weight of my bills piling up is too heavy to bear. I am a rather morally responsible individual and it’s killing me not to be able to fulfill the promise that I made to the people who loaned me credit and expect me to keep that promise. 

When I try to go back into the job market I feel like it tears me apart. I tasted the freedom and now I feel like I can’t go back. But I feel like some part of me can’t move forward in my fullest expression until I mend something. The part that feels like I betrayed my co-workers, my family, my tradition, and my obligations. The truth is, no matter how hard I try I just don’t fit into the corporate life. I would love to make a living writing, but I can’t seem to connect with people in the way that I really would like to. I try, I pour my heart out, and try to remain genuine. But there is a demon that keeps whispering to me… you’ll never make it, this isn’t God’s calling for you, you’ll never win, your not living genuinely. I am stuck in the deepest darkest part of my soul. Stretching and reaching out for help, and the help is no where to be found. 

I’ve felt God before, but for some reason since I quit my job I feel like God left me a little bit. I know that’s not true, but I feel locked out of God’s heart. Even though I try so hard to find my way back home. 

I am not sure what you can say, but I know the feeling you get when you don’t know what to say at first, but then the right words just come to you. I am not asking you to fix my life. I am just reaching out for that connection that I know is there regardless of what my demons are whispering to me. I know it just takes a different perspective and your whole life can change. I’m just asking for your perspective. 

Love Renee

Sign

That was as honest as it gets.

Everyone goes through things. I just think that we need some help along the way. I am not perfect and I make mistakes, but I am trying to fix them to make my life better.

I welcome your feedback.

finished-heart Nay

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