Is Arguing Ever A Good Thing?

arguing

You scream.

She screams.

You say something mean.

She returns the favor.

She digs her claws in deep, opening wounds that you thought were gone.

You retaliate and back her into a corner.

Then f-bombs, and tears, and frustration follows.

No one has heard the other. No one has listened. Ready to just be right or to make your next point. But no one during the entire argument got what the other person was trying to say.

So why are we so intrigued with the temptation to step into the pit of fire that we know we should have stayed away from? The pit of fire that once you’re in, there’s no turning back – it has you.

In the midst of it, you just want it to stop.

All the pain, all the hurtful remarks, all the deep seated hatred that no one spoke about until the fight. Why do we put ourselves through it?

If the two of you can’t hear each other and if nothing gets settled, what is the purpose of arguing? Is it ever a good thing?

I think arguing serves no other purpose other than to help you release.

Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, sometimes there is negative energy around that you can no longer put up with – you have to call it out, and sometimes you have to trust that it’s the right time to release someone from your life.

Getting some old stuff out so that you can make way for the new, is an essential part of your growth.

Somewhere along the line, you realize that you are two different people. Neither one of you is wrong – you are just on two different paths and aren’t right for each other at the time.

So you say your piece, and at the end when all the dust settles, you breathe it out, pray it out, meditate it out, and let it go.

You should never ever let anyone make you feel like bettering yourself or wanting more for your life is a crime, and if it takes a couple of f-bombs and other aggressive words to get that point across than so be it.

But what we do have to realize is that the argument is never about the other person. It’s for you to clarify what you will accept and what you won’t, what you are willing to put your time and attention into and what you are not, and what you are willing to hold on to and what you need to let go of.

That is the purpose of an argument, and it’s only a good thing because sometimes it helps you clarify and release things that are no longer serving you. It helps you release the people that don’t appreciate who you are as a person or what you’ve done for them.

After you have seen your side and her side, and you realize that you two are not good for each other, it’s time to move on.

I am not referring to just familial relationships, this could be any relationship that is taking your time and attention off of what’s important. If everything is an argument and there is no harmony there, it may be time for you to just move on to something new and better for you.

Not out of spite, not out of disrespect, but out of quite the contrary. You move on because you respect YOU, and you don’t have to put up with anything that makes you feel like less of yourself, saddened, or rejected. PERIOD.

So you move on.

Without any hatred or ill will towards the other, but also without you feeling like you have to be ashamed, embarrassed, or down on yourself either.

Stand up for yourself, and if that means that you have to let someone go in your life that can’t see your light – then so be it.

Thank you for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

Photo Credit

What Pregnancy Taught Me About Letting Go

letting go

I am a control freak.

Most of the time I want to know where, when, why, and how something is going to happen.

I am the kind of person that gets anxiety from waiting for surprises and gets very annoyed when I can’t figure out what’s coming next.

Let me tell you that pregnancy took the “control freak” in me and humbled it.

There was nothing that I could do from the moment that I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, but very much afraid that I would have no control over the process.

I would have to spend 9 months not knowing what my surprise looked like. I would have to wait to hold my baby in my arms. I would have to go to sleep not knowing if everything was going to be okay, and wake up to anxiety attacks because I wasn’t sure if I could support my child, and if I was fit to be a good mother.

All that waiting, anxiety, and not knowing, and there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it.

Life is like that too. You build a business or try to follow your dreams and you have no idea what the outcome is going to be. You have to spend months – sometimes years waiting for your dreams to grow, but just like having a child, you have to trust in the unseen.

You just have to hope for the best, keep yourself in good health, allow yourself to grow, and face the challenges that come along with trying to nurture something into the world. I had no control over my baby’s development. I didn’t know how many fingers and toes he would be born with. I didn’t know if I was going to have all the stuff that I needed to make him comfortable when he was born.

But because it was my heart’s desire to bring a child into this world, everything that I needed showed up.

I realized that I didn’t have to be so afraid, and that I didn’t have control over the process anyway. All I could do was relax into what had the potential to be a great experience if I let it.

I have to tell you that I let it be the experience that I believed in, and it was wonderful.

I now get to see my gift (my son) everyday. Everyday there is something new that I love about him. I allowed myself to receive what I really desired – regardless of not knowing exactly what the outcome was going to be.

If there is one thing that I want you take away from this post, it’s that life is unpredictable sometimes. You cannot control every aspect of it, and it’s exhausting to try. All you can do is expect the best, trust in the people that are around you to do what they came to do, trust in your ability to nurture yourself into the flow of receiving, and then watch the experience manifest into something beautiful.

Thanks for reading!

Here are some photos of my son.

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit

Are You A Life Hypochondriac?

Hypochondriac

Most of you know what a hypochondriac is.

For those of you that don’t – it’s a person that is abnormally concerned about their health.

A life hypochondriac (a made-up term of course), is someone who is constantly worried about the state of their being, their life, and the world that they live in. They live in a state of fear and paranoia about every little thing, and it makes it very difficult for them to accept new ideas that may help them progress in the direction of their true potential.

If you could read their mind, you would hear thoughts like,

“Is this okay, did I do that right, do I look fat, am I enough, did I do that well, is something going to go wrong, and are things going to work out for me?”

I must admit that I too, have been a life hypochondriac. I have questioned my very existence here. Do I belong, am I okay, if I say that – will I step on anyone’s toes?

That is a miserable state of being to live in.

Your breathing is a clear sign that you are meant to be here.

I am not sure why you question if you are going to make it out of a situation alive – because you always do.

I am not sure why you question your decisions – because somehow, someway you always wind up at the right place.

I am not sure why you doubt yourself because even if you mess up – every moment is brand new, and life always throws you another opportunity to get it right.

I know how unsettling it is to move into new territory. I know how nerve-racking it is to explore different parts of the self, and how terrifying it is to try and change your beliefs. It kind of reminds me of being a new parent. When your child is first born, everything is a reason to call the doctor. Everything seems wrong.

Is my child breathing okay, is he crying too much, how many times does he have to pee or poop, is this tiny little bump on his or her nose a cause for concern?

I get it.

You want to question everything. You want to make sure things are right. You are a concerned parent, and you want to make sure you are paying attention and making the right decision for your child at all times.

The same goes for life. You want to make sure you are making the right moves and that you are headed in the right direction.

The thing is… life is always going according to plan.

You can go with the flow or you can make things hard for yourself. You can worry or you can ease up a little bit. You can stress over things or you can trust that things will work out for you no matter what the process is or how long it takes to get to your desired destination.

You see, that’s why I like doctors. They are there to ease your worries. They have more information about the topics that run rampant in your mind. They know more. So when you call up the doctor frantic about your child having a minor fall, they can calm your heart and tell you to ease up a little bit. Why do you trust them? Because you believe that they know more than you do and that they know what they are talking about.

It’s the same way with your life force, God, and your inner being. It is asking you to ease up a little bit and trust more because it knows more about the subject matter of life and your trajectory – than you think it does.

Messages are always being sent to you.

Another path is always lighting up for you.

You are always being guided in the right direction; whether you believe it or not.

Now don’t get me wrong, you can doubt yourself, take a detour, and get lost, but eventually you will find your way.

I know how it feels to feel disconnected and to not trust life, and believe it or not, alot of that stuff stems from the past. Perhaps a parent didn’t show as much care and attention as you had hoped for, or maybe someone didn’t encourage your potential, or maybe someone rejected you in the past – I get it. So now when you think of going through life, you question everything, you worry, and wonder, and fret.

The key is to ease up and trust life a little more.

Your life force is backing your entire existence. It doesn’t want you to fail. It is putting its time and attention into your existence because it knows who you are, what you are, and what you have the potential to be in this world.

I know it’s hard and I know you have been told this before in other ways, but this message is coming back around to you again in a more loving way. Life wants to express itself through you. You were born as a channel for this energy. The only way that life can express itself through you (easily), is if you give it the room to.

So trust that you are here because you are meant to be here. If you need help believing again or trusting in the process – this may help.

Trust that life has chosen you (your personality, your skill sets, your talents and gifts) to express itself in a way that has never been expressed before.

You are no accident. Your presence is not an accident. Your existence is not an accident.

Ease up and let life show you how good it can be.

I know it seems easier said than done, but a little practice goes a long way.

Just Imagine

How great would it be to get some space between you and your problems, to find hope in a brighter future, and to learn to trust yourself again? I can work with you to help you in these areas and here’s how.

 Thanks for reading!

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit

Truth Be Told Tuesday

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I love a good cry.

Crying helps me release so many pent up feelings.

Sometimes when I cry, I don’t even know the root cause of the tears.

I know where the tears began. I can pinpoint the subject that they are about, but I can’t figure out where the thoughts rise from.

Sometimes the thoughts are so quick and so irrational that I can’t make sense of them. Sometimes the thoughts arise because I feel lonely, sad, or heartbroken, but I can never quite pinpoint where the feelings of sadness or loneliness originated from.

When you are feeling hopeless or helpless emotionally, it’s good to let it out (for me at least).

My tears say the things that I am afraid to say sometimes – I’m scared, I feel alone, I feel unworthy, or I feel unloved.

When we are taught to be strong and toughen up, we hold so much inside. But tears aren’t quiet. Tears let the world know that we don’t have to be tough. Tears let the world know that we are human and that we do feel. Tears let the world know that we give a shit about something. Tears let the world know that there is passion inside that hasn’t found the right outlet.

So I love to have a good cry. As a matter of fact I had one today. Actually I had a couple of good cries today.

I will leave you with a good quote about tears.

Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive. {Author Unknown}

Thank you for reading!

Do you have anything that you would like to confess for Truth Be Told Tuesday? If so, go to the top of the post and click “leave a comment” to share your story. If you prefer to post your response on your own blog, just add the words “Truth Be Told Tuesday” somewhere in your post and link back to this article.

I look forward to hearing your response.

finished-heart Nay

Something To Be Thankful About…

Thankful

I opened up my gratitude journal today and sighed when I thought, “I have nothing to be thankful for.” Of course I do have a million things to be thankful for, but when you’re in a bad mood for some reason nothing seems to come to mind. I slid my pen across the pages of my journal and just wrote a few words that came to mind. Release, Let Go, Forgive, Find Beauty, and Unbroken were a few words that I wrote down. Right after that, a thought came to mind. A gentle voice said to me, “Try writing with your left hand.” Now of course, I am right handed so I knew that trying to write with my left hand would be difficult.

I prepared myself and did it anyway. Just as expected, I found myself getting frustrated when I couldn’t even write the word love without it looking like a 2 year old scribbling on the paper. I thought about my mother who cannot read and who cannot write. I then thought about how frustrating it must be for someone to be able to think thoughts and not be able to get them down on paper, or create stories, or even write something as simple as I love you to the people that she most means to express that to.

Right then and there, I found my THANK YOU. I am thankful that I can read and write. I am thankful that I can form ideas and bring them to life through my books. I realize that through my writing I am giving a voice to her and I’m sure many other people who do not have a way to express themselves through writing. So I just wanted to say thank you because I can read and I can write and I will continue to do so, all the days of my life.

From my heart to yours,

Renee