Is Arguing Ever A Good Thing?

arguing

You scream.

She screams.

You say something mean.

She returns the favor.

She digs her claws in deep, opening wounds that you thought were gone.

You retaliate and back her into a corner.

Then f-bombs, and tears, and frustration follows.

No one has heard the other. No one has listened. Ready to just be right or to make your next point. But no one during the entire argument got what the other person was trying to say.

So why are we so intrigued with the temptation to step into the pit of fire that we know we should have stayed away from? The pit of fire that once you’re in, there’s no turning back – it has you.

In the midst of it, you just want it to stop.

All the pain, all the hurtful remarks, all the deep seated hatred that no one spoke about until the fight. Why do we put ourselves through it?

If the two of you can’t hear each other and if nothing gets settled, what is the purpose of arguing? Is it ever a good thing?

I think arguing serves no other purpose other than to help you release.

Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, sometimes there is negative energy around that you can no longer put up with – you have to call it out, and sometimes you have to trust that it’s the right time to release someone from your life.

Getting some old stuff out so that you can make way for the new, is an essential part of your growth.

Somewhere along the line, you realize that you are two different people. Neither one of you is wrong – you are just on two different paths and aren’t right for each other at the time.

So you say your piece, and at the end when all the dust settles, you breathe it out, pray it out, meditate it out, and let it go.

You should never ever let anyone make you feel like bettering yourself or wanting more for your life is a crime, and if it takes a couple of f-bombs and other aggressive words to get that point across than so be it.

But what we do have to realize is that the argument is never about the other person. It’s for you to clarify what you will accept and what you won’t, what you are willing to put your time and attention into and what you are not, and what you are willing to hold on to and what you need to let go of.

That is the purpose of an argument, and it’s only a good thing because sometimes it helps you clarify and release things that are no longer serving you. It helps you release the people that don’t appreciate who you are as a person or what you’ve done for them.

After you have seen your side and her side, and you realize that you two are not good for each other, it’s time to move on.

I am not referring to just familial relationships, this could be any relationship that is taking your time and attention off of what’s important. If everything is an argument and there is no harmony there, it may be time for you to just move on to something new and better for you.

Not out of spite, not out of disrespect, but out of quite the contrary. You move on because you respect YOU, and you don’t have to put up with anything that makes you feel like less of yourself, saddened, or rejected. PERIOD.

So you move on.

Without any hatred or ill will towards the other, but also without you feeling like you have to be ashamed, embarrassed, or down on yourself either.

Stand up for yourself, and if that means that you have to let someone go in your life that can’t see your light – then so be it.

Thank you for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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6 Quick Fixes For A Bad Mood

bad mood

I can get moody – let me tell you.

I know that you have all experienced it from time to time.

I’ve had to learn that a bad mood does not have to mean a bad day, and I have also learned that a bad mood can be changed.

Sometimes we enter our day and something sets us off, we hear bad news, or encounter problems that seem impossible to fix. These events trigger our stress hormones, and leave us feeling down in the dumps.

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Here are 6 quick fixes to get a handle on your bad mood. 

1. TAKE A NAP

It may sound silly, but it works. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is. If you have the opportunity to take a nap during the day (especially if you are in a bad mood) – do it. Taking a nap helps you break the negative thought patterns that are going on in your mind. When you wake up, you feel refreshed, and are then able to face your day from a renewed perspective.

2. TAKE A SHOWER OR A BATH

Water is very calming. There is something about being in a bathtub or a shower that just washes all your cares away. As a matter of fact, when you are in the shower – imagine that every negative emotions is being washed away. When you are done you will feel calm and soothed, and you can approach your day again from that new feeling place.

3. LISTEN TO MUSIC

There are few things that soothe like music does. Put on a relaxing tune, and embody the feeling of the music. Music soothes the soul.

4. WRITE ABOUT IT

Sometimes we find ourselves in a bad mood because we can’t express what we need to express. Things stay pent up inside and we feel that we have no way to let it out. When you feel like that, a good thing to do would be to write about it. Get your journal or just a piece of paper and write down why you are feeling the way that you do. This will help you get those negative emotions out and not harbor them in your heart.

5. TALK ABOUT IT WITH A TRUSTED FRIEND

Notice that I said, “a trusted friend”. By trusted, I mean someone who is not going to perpetuate the negative emotions that you are feeling. The trusted friend should be someone who is a good listener, grounded, and someone who is able to give you suggestions on how to better cope with your emotions. Sometimes, just expressing yourself makes all the difference in the world.

6. WALK AWAY

Sometimes you just need to walk away. Remove yourself from the situation completely if you can. Get out of the house – if that is where your bad mood started. Walk away from your desk – if you are at work and you feel overwhelmed. Remove yourself from a heated debate – if you notice that the argument is taking a toll on you.

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. {Unknown}.

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I hope these tips help you with turning around your bad mood. If you have any tips to share, be sure to share them with us in the comments section.

If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and subscribe.

Thanks for reading!

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Tools For Rebuilding Yourself

Rebuilding

Yesterday we talked about the inner work of rebuilding yourself.

For those of you that missed that post, you can read it here.

Today, I am going to offer you some tools that may help with the process.

These tools have helped me personally, and it is my privilege to be able to share them with you. Although the tools may seem like simple suggestions, believe me, they work wonders. It’s only when we stop looking for solutions outside of ourselves and tap into the infinite resources within, that things start to shift in our lives.

I hope these tools help you on your journey!

1. Journaling

  • Journaling is a therapeutic tool.
  • You can savor the fact that your journal will not talk back, interrupt, or judge what you say.
  • Journaling also helps you process the events that have happened and your feelings towards them.
  • Writing down what you feel stops you from harboring those feelings inside.
  • Sometimes we just need the space to tell things how we have “seen” them or “experienced” them, and journaling allows you to do that.

2. Pay Attention To Your Negative Self Talk

    • We all do it. We speak down to ourselves, we call ourselves stupid, or beat up on ourselves. This scare tactic does not do you any good.
    • You would never talk to a close friend or those you love the way that you talk to yourself sometimes. So give yourself that same respect.


  • When negative self talk starts, ask yourself, “is this really coming from me?” Nine times out of ten that negative voice is not your own voice. Ask yourself who is it that is speaking for you? You may hear the answer, “this is fear speaking”, “this is anger speaking”, or “this is insecurity speaking”. Either way, recognizing it is a huge step.
  • Once you recognize how you are speaking to yourself, and that most of the time it’s coming from some place other than your true self, you can then start to speak to yourself in a way that is more productive, insightful, and uplifting.

3. Pay Attention To Your Nighttime Dreams

  • For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that I am a huge fan of tapping into the wisdom of your dreams. As a matter of fact, I have a whole website dedicated to helping others discover the meaning of their dreams.
  • Don’t take these theatrical stories that your mind dreams up for granted. They show you all that is going on inside you. How you feel, what you desire, and the vast potential of your creativity all shows up in your nighttime dreams.
  • Even if you don’t want to dig as deep as decoding your dreams, you can keep a dream journal, just to read and see how vivid your inner world really is. Keeping a dream journal is simple. If you don’t have one, or you don’t know how to start one, you can take a look at the steps I have outlined for you here.

4. Allow Your Emotions

  • This one may be difficult for some of you, but it’s worth it.
  • We discussed in the previous article that society expects you to have it all together, keep it all together, and show no signs of the contrary. Well that is ridiculous. We are all human, and we have feelings and emotions so that we can cleanse ourselves. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to vent, allow yourself a moment of anger, but please don’t stay there.
  • Feel your emotions, examine them, see when they are triggered, and just be with them for a few moments. It’s okay to not have it all together. We are human – not Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Your going to feel moments of disappointment, sadness, anger, and resentment. Feel those emotions. The only thing that hurts is when you deny the opportunity for you to feel and release them.

Because pain is just emotion trapped in the body.

  • Allowing these emotions gives you the permission to set them free.

5. Be Patient With Yourself

  • It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to make a mistake. It’s okay to not know what you are doing. It’s called “being human”.
  • Take your time with these steps.
  • If you feel you have messed up somewhere, recognize that every moment is brand new. You can start again. Just allow it.
  • It’s okay to have bad days. A bad day and bad feelings are just a sign for you to show a bit more compassion towards your situation. Bad days are an opportunity for you to show yourself a little more patience.
  • You don’t have to get it all right – right from the jump.

6. Trust Your Intuition

  • Every post that I write is me trusting my intuition.
  • I pay attention to my dreams, I pay attention to my inner promptings, and even sometimes when I doubt myself, I erase those thoughts, and trust myself anyway.
  • No one knows you better than the “inner you”.

I was also going to say – allow your missteps, but that goes right along with being patient with yourself. Sometimes we just don’t get it right, and to even soften that a bit, sometimes there is just a better path for us, and it just takes some readjusting (attitude wise), to get back on track.

Rebuilding yourself is a process, but we have a choice everyday. We can go through life miserable, stuck, and afraid, or we can try (taking one step at a time) to rebuild ourself.

Thank you for reading!

If you have some tools for rebuilding yourself, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

Also, if you like this post, don’t forget to hit like, share, and subscribe.

heart Nay

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