Truth Be Told Tuesday: Year End Post

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I am so glad that 2014 is coming to a close.

I’m really looking forward to a new time…

The start of a new year is permission for people like me to move past the feelings of failure, disappointment, and sadness. To maybe – somehow – try to cultivate a different frame of mind to get to the answers and fulfillment that we really have been seeking. So I am so happy to say PEACE OUT to 2014.

I hope you all enjoyed my posts this year…

I have to be completely honest, most of the posts that were written this year were written from the perspective of someone with a broken-heart, crushed dreams, and resentment. They were written from the perspective of someone trying to hold the pieces of her broken-heart together while she squeezed out tidbits of her passion.

While the demons of fear, anger, and disappointment sat on her shoulder begging her to hang it up, she told them, “no, if I don’t have anything else, I have myself and my writing and you will not take away my voice.”

I have so much more to learn…

The truth is… I feel like I don’t know a damn thing.

As a writer, I feel like there is so much more to learn. As a mother, I feel like every time I get something right – my son changes. As a person, I feel like I am drowning in this pool that we all call life. I have alot of walls to break through, guards to let down, and paths to navigate through. I have learned a hell of alot, but learning isn’t the answer.

The real transformation comes when you can embrace new concepts, ways of being, beliefs, and new ideas, and I have not been able to do that too much in 2014. I have received insight that my childhood insecurities has beat up before it even got a chance to get through the doors. I have received messages that the ego crooks have stolen before I even got a chance to sift through and find the treasures within. I have launched more ideas and dreams than probably anyone you know, but the “straight and narrow” in me noticed that they didn’t line up with my upbringing – so out the door they went.

But 2014 was not all bad…

I got one of the greatest gifts of all in 2014. A gift that I didn’t think that I could have because it hadn’t shown up in my life for years. I gave birth to my first born – Noah. He has been my greatest gift and greatest accomplishment and his very presence helps me realize that dreams do come true – even if they do take some time.

As far as my writing goes…

I am in the process of writing my new book {Soul Guidance Finding Your Way Home}. There are moments in my life where all is well, and a stream of well-being just flows from me. It’s a place where there are no worries and no fears. Sometimes I think to myself – where the hell did that passage come from – because I didn’t feel anything close to that yesterday? But then I remember – we all have that place inside that no one can take from us.

My wishes for the new year…

I am looking to take my blog in a different direction. Although I have written some posts that have some good information and good stories, I would like to dive a little bit more into what people need. I feel like my calling is to be a soul writer, but I am going to focus more on content that can help others move past their difficulties, break free from restrictions, and release their pain. I keep getting the message that I am a healer and I want nothing more than to express my gifts in the most genuine, uplifting, and whole way possible. I don’t feel that I quite captured that this year.

My wish for the new year is that I come back to this platform – brand new. From a new perspective. Not a hurt, damaged, heart-broken individual trying to express herself, but from a new beingness. From the beingness of a healed, whole, gifted individual that has something to share with the world. I will not be back on this platform, until I find my way and am able to reveal my gifts to you in a way that can help heal, advance, and move us all in a positive direction.

For all the writers out there…

Don’t give up. Follow your dreams. I know sometimes it’s hard and things seem slim, but we will all find a way. For those who are making it big time and starting to really find the level of expression that they have always desired “kudos to you” and “keep it up”. I wish you all a very safe, happy, healthy new year. I will be back, but not before I can deliver my “whole self” to this platform. I don’t know how long that will take. Just keep me in your prayers and well-wishes.

I appreciate you all!

Thank you for reading!

Happy New Year!

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Freedom Friday: Manifesting The Space I Desire Most

Set Yourself FreeMy Freedom Friday Post Is About What I Desire Most

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For this Freedom Friday post I figured I’d share one of my dreams with you.

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a house.

Even when I was a preteen, I use to look through the pages of the magazines and catalogues that would come in the mail and visualize me walking through one of those beautiful mansions – that from my childhood perspective – seemed very easy to get. Through my childhood eyes, I needed nothing more than to wish for something, and one day it would appear (so I thought).

But my dream of owning a home wasn’t just to satisfy my materialistic needs. There is something about the thought of having a space of my own that just means the world to me. Something about the thought of building a warm, comfortable, inviting space that just gives me the feeling of purpose.

For some reason, I feel that I was made to create an inviting home.

Now I know that may sound crazy to some of you, but I cannot explain my strong desire to own my own home in any other way, other than I was born to obtain it.

It’s just like I felt about my son. I knew that I always wanted to be a mother. Life’s circumstances and many personal things caused me to not be able to have a child for a very long time. I was devastated when I hit the 30 year old mark and thought that my dream of becoming a mother would never happen. I even wrote a poem one day stating that “I wasn’t fit to be a mother”, that’s why God hadn’t given me a child yet. That could be the only reason from my perspective. I wanted a child sooooo bad, and God wouldn’t grant me that wish. So to me, I had done something wrong and I wasn’t fit to be a mom (in my mind).

I couldn’t understand why I would have such a huge desire in my heart and not be able to fulfill it. But on August 13th of this year – my son was born. I have never felt so alive in my entire life other than every moment of my pregnancy and everyday afterwards that I look at my son. It truly is a dream come true.

The desire for my home feels like the strong desire I had to have a son.

It’s more than just getting a house though. Sometimes, I don’t even know how to explain the strong desire, but I am going to try to, because part of me feels like I am standing in my way of receiving this blessings. So I figure if I just share what I dream of and why, it may somehow loosen up the resistance I have inside to receiving such a beautiful space.

I think part of the thing blocking my home is the fact that I am not completely comfortable with who I am yet. I always call “home” – the place inside where you are comfortable with who you are and what you do.

If I don’t feel at “home” with myself – there is no possible way that I can own my own home physically. I believe that alot of what we create has to do with the thoughts that we think and how we feel about ourselves. Lord knows if I could get some kind of grasp on how this whole spiritual/physical thing works, I would be unstoppable. I yearn for understanding. Not just to get things… but to feel like I belong here and like I have a purpose here. Ya know?

How can I feel at home with myself when I feel like I stripped myself of all financial security? The means for my living right now is being channelled through my husband. I haven’t made any money for myself in a few years – even though I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into my writing and other areas as well. It’s demoralizing to feel that I can’t support myself. It seems as if anything I try to do outside of a 9 to 5 job fails. As if the universe is saying, “you are only meant to work for or under someone else. You aren’t meant to be on your own or realize your own dreams.” It’s heartbreaking.

This is one of the big reasons why I haven’t received my home. I am not financially prepared (at all) to obtain such a thing. You would think that with such a huge desire to own my own space, that somehow I would start attracting circumstances to support that dream, but I haven’t been able to do it, and it’s just hurting me so bad.

But if there is one thing that I learned from having my son it’s that – my thoughts about it were mislead. I was worthy of having a son – it’s just that I thought I wasn’t because it was delayed.

Whenever I get discouraged about not getting something that my heart desires for my life, I try to remember a quote.

“Every delay is not a denial.” {Author Unknown}

God knows, that I desire nothing more right now than to own my own home. I don’t know why. I just have a strong urge inside. I am trying everything that I can to build that “home” internally first so that the result of that progress will then be the physical manifestation of my home.

It just feels like it’s taking an eternity, and I feel like I am so far away from it with no help or support as to how to reach the goal. I don’t know… maybe one day I will figure it out.

Sometimes we just have to let out how we feel. It doesn’t do us any good to keep our strongest feelings bottled up inside. I don’t think it does any good to complain all the time either. So I decided to just kind of put words to what’s going on inside. It helps me make sense of how I am feeling. That’s what writers do.

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Thanks for reading!

Are you ready to express yourself for Freedom Friday? If so, don’t forget to click the “leave a comment” button, and share your story. If you prefer to share the post on your own blog please be sure to add the words Freedom Friday to your post & link back to this post.

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Writing Prompt Wednesday

WPWEDNESDAY

Hello Writers,

The three writing prompts for the day (December 17th) are listed below. Choose one of the prompts and post your response in the “leave a comment” section.

Writing prompts are a great way to practice your writing, share your creations, and to see how other writers think. Remember to add emotions, describe the scenes, use your senses (smell, sight, taste, touch, & hearing), be descriptive, and don’t hold back. 

Today we are going to be doing freelance writing. Freelance writing is a writing style where the writer just flows with the thoughts that come to mind. The purpose of this writing experiment is to free the mind of restrictions, constraints, and judgement. With freelance writing, you are allowed to express whatever flows. So don’t worry about editing or sounding “right”. Just let it flow, and most of all – have fun!

1. Write in freelance style about ambiguity. 

2. Write in freelance style about hatred.

3. Write in freelance style about love.

I chose writing prompt # 3. 

Consuming all encompassing passionate vibrations

A baby’s first smile

Feelings of never-ending pleasure

A fresh cup of coffee

Slippers on the feet

The moonlight watching me as i watch it

Free-flowing thoughts

A cool summer’s breeze

Soul-shaking love-making that brings me down to my knees

The path of least resistance

That moment of peace

That fire in the heart

Everything all at once perfectly understood

The melting away of years of trauma and pain 

Eyes that light up when they see you – like a son’s or a daughter’s

Fearlessness in the night

Peace and rise of the soul

Openness and receptivity

Allowing the unknown to unfold

Love – a strange thing – some dare not open to it because of the hurt and pain that it has once caused, but you can’t deny the feelings of it when its true, right, and on time

An understood glance

Watchful eyes

A song in the heart

Moved about through life’s current effortlessly, easily, and spoiled-rottenly in love

Thank you for checking out Writing Prompt Wednesdays. Click here to share your entry. If you prefer to share your submission on your own blog, just add the words “Writing Prompt Wednesday” to your post and link back to this post.

Ready, Set, Go!

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Truth Be Told Tuesday

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I can’t stand a critical person.

I have to be honest with you, I from time to time am a critical person – especially when it comes to certain details and getting things right. However, I am not talking about people that just comment on what they do or do not prefer.

I am certainly not talking about the kind of person that just speaks their mind about a matter that they are passionate about, or those who offer their opinions when asked. That is not the kind of critical person I am talking about.

I am also not talking about those who have something to say, and present it in a way that other people can understand. Sometimes critiques can help us move forward, learn from our mistakes, and better ourselves.

What I cannot handle however, is those who are miserable, that have nothing but negative things to say, and that go around offering their unsolicited nastiness to the world. I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

I happened to be on one of the forums on Amazon, and someone who wrote a review for one of my books had accidentally posted in the wrong forum about my book. She wanted to see if any other members had purchased the book, and wanted to talk about it. She enjoyed the book, and posted her opinions in that forum. Well, some inconsiderate individual attacked her presence there, my character, and my book.

He called my book an obscure – overpriced – indie title, and he made several subliminal comments to hint that I somehow paid the girl to go on there and hype my book up.

I CAN’T HANDLE that kind of negative, ignorant behavior.

First off, I am not the kind of person that would want someone’s “paid response” as a book review. That is ridiculous. I would much rather have the person have a genuine interest in the story that I wrote and actually go on to explain to others how much they loved my book.

My biggest pet peeve with the entire conversation was that the guy DIDN’T EVEN READ MY BOOK. He at most, skimmed over the synopsis, checked out the price, the description didn’t fit what kind of novels he was into, and then he went off on the poor lady – for no reason whatsoever. How can you have an opinion about something – that you never even read?

Let me tell you something, I am a sensitive person, and I know that you have to have pretty tough skin to be in any kind of artistry. There will be people who disagree with you for no reason whatsoever. There will be people that try to drag your name through the mud, and bring you down. I understand that people just want something to comment on, and people are well within their rights to say what they feel. I get it.

But to attack a self-published Indie author, as if they are the scum of the publishing world is unacceptable. He didn’t form his critique based on visiting my website, reading my book, or even knowing me personally. He just saw an opportunity to release his frustration (probably with life in general) out on a woman who was just in the wrong place at a very wrong time. I felt so bad for that lady. I almost lost it, but I calmed down, and I didn’t even respond. The reason why is because it really wasn’t worth my time to try and explain to that man all the hard work that I have put into developing my writing, the countless hours I spent researching, the countless hours I spent editing, and all the other work that I put into writing that book – and all of my books.

Everyone starts somewhere. I don’t care who you are. You had help along the way, and also there was a time when even the biggest names in publishing didn’t have the resources that they needed to support their overall craft. Everyone starts somewhere. 

My point with writing all of this is to say, “be mindful of what you say about or to other people”. Before you write that critical post or judge someone, just remember that everyone does not have the same resources as you do, everyone does not have the same level of education as you do, everyone does not have the same support as you do, but everyone does have a right to express their artistry. Everyone is at different levels in the game.

People are certainly within their rights to comment on the work that we artists make public – I understand. That is why I’ve had to learn to kind of take all criticism lightly.

Just think twice before posting something critical about another person’s art. Maybe that person is really trying their hardest with the resources they have. Their artistry is their perception of the world and their experiences – sometimes we just don’t understand where others are coming from.

So ask yourself these questions before you post something critical: Is the comment that you are going to post helpful to the development of the person? Is the comment you are going to post relevant to the person’s overall achievements? Do you really know who the person is? Do you know how much time, work, and dedication they put into everything they do? Could it be possible that you just may not resonate with their work, and it may not be grounds to criticism them?

That is all I am saying – just think before you speak. Words do have power. Be careful how you use them. The guy went on to say several other things and would not let up on the lady. That is why it infuriated me so much. Even after she apologized several times for posting in the wrong forum, the guy kept on about her and my book.

The truth is… his comments hurt me.

It felt like all of the hard work that I had put into writing that novel went right out the door with just a few words by a very disgruntled man. I know that his comments can’t really do anything to me, but just to hear someone say those things and not even know you or your work is really disheartening.

How about you… has anyone ever criticized your work without adequate evidence to support their claims?

Do you have anything that you would like to confess for Truth Be Told Tuesday? If so, go to the top of the post and click “leave a comment” to share your story. If you prefer to post your response on your own blog, just add the words “Truth Be Told Tuesday” somewhere in your post and link back to this article.

I look forward to hearing your response.

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Music For Your Muse

Music For Your Muse

Do You Have A Song For Your Muse?

I sure do.

Music is one of the tools that I use when moving into my creative state. 

It’s alot easier to write a scene when you are right there feeling the same feelings that pertain to that scene.

Music also allows me to visualize the scenes more vividly. When I was writing my book Hooked On The Jones, the song “Spoiled” by Joss Stone put me right in the mood I needed to be in to write certain chapters.

When I was writing Journey Through Sattara, The song “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons provided the heart-pounding beat that I needed to conjure the feelings of triumph and power.

The Song That I Chose For My Overall Muse Is “Say You Love Me” by Jessie Ware

This song explains the relationship between my Muse and I perfectly. The ups and downs, the walking away and then coming back, the frustration, the feeling of great joy to have found what I love to do, and also the feeling of great sadness when I can’t express how I really want to. This song gets me every time. It’s almost as if my craft is speaking to me and telling me to dedicate myself to it fully. Like it’s telling me to breathe it, live it, and be it.

So what’s your favorite music for your muse? I would love to hear what song explains the relationship between you and your muse.

Thank you for reading!

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The Things Writers Do : Write Everywhere

Notebooks

A Quick Story

My significant other comes home, places a small black notebook in our mail basket, and leaves it there for several days.

I (the writer) see the notebook and notice that there is about 60% of the notebook not used.

What did I do?

I took it over. Yes, I grabbed the notebook and started jotting down my ideas, notes for my future posts, and some passages for my new book.

My significant other comes home yesterday and sees that I have used the notebook. He mentions something along the lines of me not having to use up all the paper in all of the notebooks.

I replied, “I am a writer. What do you expect?”

#THETHINGSWRITERSDO

Am I wrong? Lol. Come on – you know you use every piece of paper you can find in your house to get your ideas out. Even the toilet paper – don’t lie.

Thank you for reading!

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What Is The Purpose Of Writing?

The Purpose Of Writing

What is the purpose of writing?

I was up at 3 am this morning – partially because my 4 month old son needed his feeding, and partially because I couldn’t sleep. As I laid awake in my bed, all of these questions came to mind.

Why do we write? What is it all for? Why do people care about words? What does writing really mean to the world – if anything at all?

I then thought to myself, what causes people to move the ramblings of their imagination from their head, to paper, and then out into the world? We must somewhere inside feel that our words are going to make a difference, stir up controversy, or draw attention.

Out of the billions of thoughts that we have thought, only a small few have made it to the pages of our novels, our memoirs, posts, articles, and our letters. But why have any of those words at all, made it from the recesses of our mind out into the world?

I figured it’s like this – writing is the form that helps us add order to the chaotic character that we call “the human mind”. It’s the way in which we make sense of our thoughts and the way that we put our feelings into a form we can understand. We can’t fully understand the depths of our soul and pain until we examine ourselves. For some, that is done by crafting a story that shows all we are – projected onto someone else.

It’s a healing journey that allows you to see yourself in the form of another character. The stories that we write allow us to see all of our parts – and to make sense of them. Sometimes with judgment, and sometimes without.

Writing helps us highlight the monsters in our mind that need to be exorcised.

Writing is having something to say – and actually saying it.

Writing is the form we use to help us express the feelings behind our greatest moments of joy. Why? Because you want others who read your work to feel the same joy you have felt, or to at least remember a time when they felt the same way.

Writing is saying, this is my understanding of the world and the things around me. A way of saying, this is simply my perception of things. 

Writing is having the courage to lay your heart on the line, and to face thousands of rejections because people don’t feel, act, and think like you do.

Writing helps show all of who you are – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s where you can confess your fears, bury the hatchet, tell your story, and release your pain.

Writing is where you can silence your inner critic – if only for a few moments, by writing something beautiful from the space of peace you have within.

Writing can heal the sick, comfort the lonely, and bring hope to the hopeless.

Writing is chicken soup for the soul

Thank you for reading!

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