How Do I Get This Ocean Outside Of Me?

For the past couple of days, something has felt off inside of me.

I have been so emotional.

The tears that I have cried over the past couple of days have been tears of sadness, accompanied with thoughts like: Who am I? Why am I here? What was I really made for? And why is the current way I am expressing myself, causing me to feel tension inside?

Yesterday night, after I settled down from the tears, I received a vision.

I was in the ocean surfing some beautiful waves. My logical mind wanted to disrupt the vision because riding big waves is impossible for me. For one, I am terrified of being in the middle of the ocean and for two, I can’t swim.

I trusted the vision however, and sat with the energy for a few minutes after it was done. I felt great after the vision and thought, wow that was wonderful – now only if I could do that in real life.

I got up this morning with the intention of just taking it easy. I was going to just let the day flow and just take whatever came my way. I didn’t want to get too much in the mind or pay too much attention to anything today. I just kind of wanted it to be an easy day.

Throughout the day, as I was on some social media sites I felt very emotional again, but this time I wasn’t crying tears of sadness. They were tears of joy, and they seemed to come forward for the littlest things.

Several quotes made me cry this morning.

Several pictures that I looked at made me cry.

Just seeing people in their natural states of being made me cry.

It was very weird to say the least, but I trusted that the New tears were a part of the process.

Out of nowhere I was drawn to this video where Kate Northrup (author and truth seeker) was interviewing Meggan Watterson (author and self proclaimed spiritual misfit) on Glimpse TV.

Meggan said something so profound, and it summed up the feelings that I have been feeling during this spiritual journey.

On my spiritual journey I have felt this feeling inside that I could not define until I heard Meggan say, how do I get this ocean outside of me?

The lightbulb went off, and I said, yes that’s it!

That is what I was feeling.

That is the tension inside that I didn’t know how to express, and she had summed it up perfectly.

It’s so true. You start out on this road knowing there is so much inside, but for some reason it seems too powerful to express.

Perhaps you were told to keep quiet in the past, or maybe your sensitivity, power, and presence were not appreciated throughout your life, or maybe you hold back out of fear that if you open your heart again, someone will take your best work (your heart, your love, and your sentiments), and stomp on them.

You’ve been heartbroken in the past, and you don’t trust opening your heart again or sharing yourself freely with others. I found a quote this morning that helps remedy those feelings.

Let your heart crumble into an infinite amount of tiny, precious seeds. Then plant love everywhere you go. InstagramView On Instagram

All of the above are reasons why I haven’t allowed the ocean of love, knowledge, and compassion to flow forth from me freely. The uneasiness that I feel is that ocean inside saying, it’s time to let go, it’s time to trust, it’s time to link with your real flow, but I keep denying its powerful presence into my life.

So the vision of the waves that I received from this morning showed me that I was getting ready to finally link with information that could help me move forward in a powerful way.

It is a beautiful feeling to see that your soul and your intuition are guiding you to the information that you need to hear.

So I am on a quest now to find out – how do I get this ocean outside of me?

I have done a pretty good job by releasing some of my heart and soul into different areas (my books, my Writing Heart on Tumblr, my Instagram site, my Pinterest boards, my Soul Guidance site, etc), but I feel there is something more – something bigger, that is trying to be expressed – something profound.

I can feel it trying to break through, but I still have these walls up, and it’s having a difficult time getting in.

I realized today that now is the time to surrender to the wave, to the flow, to life, and to trust that what is coming is beautiful and will reconcile these mixed feelings and heal alot of hearts.

It’s time to surrender and really openheartedly trust the flow of life without fear, without apprehension, and without apologies.

Thank you so much for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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