Why That Negative Situation May Be A Blessing In Disguise

YESTERDAY, MY HUBBY WAS ON THE PHONE WITH HIS FATHER AND HAD HIM ON SPEAKER PHONE.

Somehow, they got into a conversation about how to raise my son.

His father kept saying something along the lines of, your son could be great, you have to teach him, you have to read to him, you have to show him how to learn, listen to me – I am teaching you all how to raise your kid kind of vibe.

For some reason I was taking everything that he said very personal. We do all of those things and more, and my hubby’s father assuming that we didn’t, really bothered me.

On top of that, he had a really stern tone, and was saying all those things as if we weren’t raising our child right.

It started to get under my skin, so I walked away for a moment and I thought to myself, why am I attracting this kind of situation? Why am I attracting a phone call where it seems as if his father is downing our parenting skills?

I shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it for the night. But today, while I was in the shower, the thought came back to me.

WHY HAD I ATTRACTED SUCH A NEGATIVE CONVERSATION?

Another thought occurred to me right after that.

Where did I recently feel like I wasn’t a good mother or a fit parent?

You see, I can tell when negativity shows up, that I must have been thinking something along those same lines.

So when the question above came up, I just smiled to myself and said, ohhhhhhh I was thinking that.

A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE INCIDENT, I HAD GOTTEN REALLY UPSET WITH MY TODDLER, AND I YELLED AT HIM.

Obviously, I felt like shit because I had gone a little over board and didn’t control my anger.

Anyway, after I yelled at him, I started crying because I was so frustrated with myself.

I started saying things like, I can’t do this. I’m not built for this mom thing. I am losing my patience. I can’t manage this. I felt like an unfit mother.

Now those thoughts were way out of line, and I probably just needed a nap or something, but I could suddenly see where the negative situation with my hubby’s father stemmed from.

It stemmed from my thoughts and feelings about not being a good mother. So something showed up in my experience to amplify exactly what I felt.

DO YOU SEE HOW IT’S ALL CONNECTED?

If we dig a little deeper, the situation was showing me something even more profound.

It was showing me the ability I had to recognize and respond differently to the situation.

Just like I recognized that the conversation with his father was a bit off key, and I walked away. I could have done the same thing when I got frustrated with my son.

It was showing me that I have the ability to respond differently – in any situation. I don’t have to wait until a situation gets out of control or something negative shows up to beat me over the head.

IT WAS AN EXCELLENT LESSON, AND A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

I believe that all the things that show up in our life, have something to teach us. Sometimes we miss the lesson, but I got this message loud and clear.

When a negative situation shows up in your life next time, see how the situation makes you feel, and then ask yourself, where in my life have I felt this same way lately?

With just that little bit of investigating, you’ll see where the situation stems from, and you’ll be able to do something about the root cause of it.

The root cause usually has something to do with how you feel about yourself. That situation that is appearing in front of you is just amplifying something that you are holding inside.

RECOGNIZE IT, LAUGH AT IT, AND THEN COMMEND YOURSELF FOR BRINGING IT TO YOUR AWARENESS.

We can’t change how other people act, but we can change our response to it. We can’t make other people value us, but we can remove the parts within our own self where we degrade and speak negatively towards ourselves.

{TWEETABLE} Change in your inner world leads to change in your outer world. #soulguidance

Remember that. Empower yourself. Shift what you say to yourself and how you treat yourself.

Thanks for reading.

With love,

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide


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So You’re A F*ck Up – Now What?

disappointment

So you screwed up again right?

You failed?

Your business isn’t doing so good, you lost your job, you blurted out the disgusting truth in a moment of drunken rage, you poured your heart and soul into a project and no one responded – no one liked it – no one shared.

So you’re a f*ck up right?

You must have some black cloud hanging over your head and must be destined for failure, because it feels as if the universe is playing a game of “lets see how bad this can get” with you.

If you answered yes or even hinted yes to any of the things that I said above – we need to talk.

What is it that causes you to be so hard on yourself and think that way? Is there no room for error or a misstep in your life?

Is it societal pressure?

Your inner critic?

I know what it is…

You’ve set the bar high for yourself and maybe you’ve fallen short of the finish line. 

You may have people depending on you and when things aren’t looking up, all the pressure falls on your shoulders. 

Your bills are piling up, and what you do – in terms of a creative business or your artistry – is NOT paying the bills. 

So your a screw up right, because things took a different turn and didn’t turn out the way that you had hoped for?

Okay, now that we got that out, sit with me for a moment and just breathe.

Take a moment to think about what you really want for your life.

Not what your kids want, not what your spouse wants, or your parents – what do you want? What do you enjoy?

Could you spend a little less time doing things you feel you are obligated to do, and spend a little more time doing the things that excite you and that you are passionate about.

If you are unhappy or feel like you are a failure, it’s only because you are doing things to please other people while neglecting yourself.

Consider this a wake up call. 

Consider this an opportunity to view the situation a little differently.

Where in your life are you not giving yourself permission to just be yourself, to pursue your passion, to follow the way that you feel in your heart you should go? What beliefs about your current path might you need to change in order to accommodate newer, richer, fuller opportunities and situations?

I know one thing for sure – you are not a screw up. Oh, but that inner critic would have you believe so.

The truth is, what you are really being called to do – is to create the life you really want for yourself – no exceptions.

The tensions, the conflicts, and blockages are all there because you are being called to examine how you feel about yourself,  how you treat yourself, and what you believe to be true for your life.

You are being called to give yourself permission to live, to create, to say no, to forgive, to let go, and to honor your true soul.

What you are going through right now is just the testing grounds for you to make way for what you really desire in your life, and the most important thing that you need to know right now is – be kind to yourself.

Trust yourself a little more.

Allow your missteps.

It’s all a part of the process.

You are redefining, testing, feeling things out, building your foundation for a stronger relationship with your core. Don’t be so hard on yourself for things not working out in the way you had planned. Life will throw you another piece, and another piece, and another piece.

Readjust your thinking and feel your way through this process with love, compassion, and new thoughts.

I’m rooting for you because I’ve been through it too, and it doesn’t just go away. You have to cultivate a new way of seeing yourself and believing in yourself so that you can start to attract new experiences.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide

Photo Credit

Are You A Life Hypochondriac?

Hypochondriac

Most of you know what a hypochondriac is.

For those of you that don’t – it’s a person that is abnormally concerned about their health.

A life hypochondriac (a made-up term of course), is someone who is constantly worried about the state of their being, their life, and the world that they live in. They live in a state of fear and paranoia about every little thing, and it makes it very difficult for them to accept new ideas that may help them progress in the direction of their true potential.

If you could read their mind, you would hear thoughts like,

“Is this okay, did I do that right, do I look fat, am I enough, did I do that well, is something going to go wrong, and are things going to work out for me?”

I must admit that I too, have been a life hypochondriac. I have questioned my very existence here. Do I belong, am I okay, if I say that – will I step on anyone’s toes?

That is a miserable state of being to live in.

Your breathing is a clear sign that you are meant to be here.

I am not sure why you question if you are going to make it out of a situation alive – because you always do.

I am not sure why you question your decisions – because somehow, someway you always wind up at the right place.

I am not sure why you doubt yourself because even if you mess up – every moment is brand new, and life always throws you another opportunity to get it right.

I know how unsettling it is to move into new territory. I know how nerve-racking it is to explore different parts of the self, and how terrifying it is to try and change your beliefs. It kind of reminds me of being a new parent. When your child is first born, everything is a reason to call the doctor. Everything seems wrong.

Is my child breathing okay, is he crying too much, how many times does he have to pee or poop, is this tiny little bump on his or her nose a cause for concern?

I get it.

You want to question everything. You want to make sure things are right. You are a concerned parent, and you want to make sure you are paying attention and making the right decision for your child at all times.

The same goes for life. You want to make sure you are making the right moves and that you are headed in the right direction.

The thing is… life is always going according to plan.

You can go with the flow or you can make things hard for yourself. You can worry or you can ease up a little bit. You can stress over things or you can trust that things will work out for you no matter what the process is or how long it takes to get to your desired destination.

You see, that’s why I like doctors. They are there to ease your worries. They have more information about the topics that run rampant in your mind. They know more. So when you call up the doctor frantic about your child having a minor fall, they can calm your heart and tell you to ease up a little bit. Why do you trust them? Because you believe that they know more than you do and that they know what they are talking about.

It’s the same way with your life force, God, and your inner being. It is asking you to ease up a little bit and trust more because it knows more about the subject matter of life and your trajectory – than you think it does.

Messages are always being sent to you.

Another path is always lighting up for you.

You are always being guided in the right direction; whether you believe it or not.

Now don’t get me wrong, you can doubt yourself, take a detour, and get lost, but eventually you will find your way.

I know how it feels to feel disconnected and to not trust life, and believe it or not, alot of that stuff stems from the past. Perhaps a parent didn’t show as much care and attention as you had hoped for, or maybe someone didn’t encourage your potential, or maybe someone rejected you in the past – I get it. So now when you think of going through life, you question everything, you worry, and wonder, and fret.

The key is to ease up and trust life a little more.

Your life force is backing your entire existence. It doesn’t want you to fail. It is putting its time and attention into your existence because it knows who you are, what you are, and what you have the potential to be in this world.

I know it’s hard and I know you have been told this before in other ways, but this message is coming back around to you again in a more loving way. Life wants to express itself through you. You were born as a channel for this energy. The only way that life can express itself through you (easily), is if you give it the room to.

So trust that you are here because you are meant to be here. If you need help believing again or trusting in the process – this may help.

Trust that life has chosen you (your personality, your skill sets, your talents and gifts) to express itself in a way that has never been expressed before.

You are no accident. Your presence is not an accident. Your existence is not an accident.

Ease up and let life show you how good it can be.

I know it seems easier said than done, but a little practice goes a long way.

Just Imagine

How great would it be to get some space between you and your problems, to find hope in a brighter future, and to learn to trust yourself again? I can work with you to help you in these areas and here’s how.

 Thanks for reading!

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit

The Top 5 Reasons I Love To Write

write

Reason #1: To Express My Thoughts & Emotions

If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad. – Lord Byron

It’s so true, isn’t it? There are so many other ways to express yourself, but for me writing seems to be the way that is most natural. I could have easily just picked another craft to indulge in, but there is something about writing that just delights my soul. With so many emotions and thoughts flowing through us there has to be some kind of outlet.

For as long as I can remember I carried a notebook around with me. Whether it was venting to my best friend about my annoying teachers back in high school, writing letters to those who hurt me deeply, or just writing down 100 reasons why I loved someone near and dear, writing has been a way to make sense of all the emotions and thoughts that flow through me.

Reason #2: Freedom

If I wanted to write a story about pink fairies, in purple dresses, dancing around a small pond filled with sugar – I could!

I love that writing has no restrictions. I can be as sinister or as ethereal as I want to be. When I put pen to paper there is no telling what my crazy mind may conjure up. I can go as far as I want to go, dig into any topic that delights me, travel to the darkest corners of my mind, and excavate treasures that are beyond my wildest dreams.

There is freedom in writing and freedom is what our soul cries out for.

Reason # 3: I Am Judge, Jury, & Executioner

And I don’t have to feel bad about it either. I love the fact that I am the one who sets all the rules in my writings. I am the God of the story! I give all of my characters their motives, intentions, desires, and their path. I get to say who stays and who goes. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!

As writers, we get to create and govern the worlds that we dream up. We are the police officers, the priests, the wanderers, the lost souls, the animals, the rioters, the angels, and the demons of our stories.

Reason # 4: I Get To Experience Different Parts Of Myself

Ohhhhh how I loved experiencing myself as a black panther named “Jungle Cat” in my novel Journey Through Sattara. The power and influence of that animal in my story helped me see the power and influence that I have within me. (*Spoiler Alert*) The fact that I could dream up an animal that plays such a huge part in the survival of Ne’Ya and Su”Ma (the two main characters of the novel), is amazing to me. The characters that we give life to in our stories are the parts of ourselves that want to be expressed. Who knew that I was that powerful, that fearless, and that instinctual? If you haven’t read Journey Through Sattara yet, it’s about time that you get a copy.

Reason #5: For The Fantasies

“Why can’t you just say it? Are you attracted to me Mr Jones?”

He didn’t answer. He just dropped his head again.

“I think I am going to head home now,” he said as he put the glass to his lips to finish off his drink.

“Why?” I asked curiously.

“Because if I stay here, I am going to be very disrespectful to you.”

– Excerpt From My Novel Hooked On The Jones

It doesn’t matter if we say it or not – we live in our minds. We are always daydreaming about things that society would deem inappropriate. Writing helps us act out those fantasies without causing too much trouble. The character Leslie that I dreamt up in my Hooked On The Jones book is smart, sexy, and well put-together. Those are all qualities that are acceptable in today’s society. (*Spoiler Alert*) But add a Manhattan apartment, a powerful business man, and a few drinks and suddenly you have a scene that if lived out in real life, would have your momma smack you across the face.

We have all dreamed about crossing boundaries and doing things way outside of our character. Writing allows you the freedom to do it, but without ruining your marriage or life afterwards.

In Closing

Writing is a way of life. It’s how we express ourselves and communicate how we feel. We create worlds with our words and words have power. I have always believed that. You can write a few sentences and crush someone’s spirit to the point of no return or you can write a story that inspires a nation, that heals, and that unites. My book Mother Father God is a perfect example of that.

Writing is in me. I may not form my sentences in ways that everyone deems appropriate, but there are stories to be told, and energy that would like to be expressed. I write because I believe I was chosen to write. I believe there is Great Spirit that has something to say and it comes to me (in the form of inspiration), because I am the perfect person to say it.

I don’t know why, but apparently it sees something in me. It sees something in the experiences that I’ve gathered throughout life. It sees something in the way that I put words together. It feels something in my heart that is a match to its spirit. What could be more exciting than an unseen force wanting to speak, and choosing you to script the story that it wants to tell?

How about you? Why do you love to write?

finished-heartNay

Day 4: Living From The Heart

Day 4

Starting It Off

Today has been pretty nice. I started some new things today, stayed in high spirits, and worked my way through some of my rough patches. I haven’t been able to sleep recently though. That could be the reason why I have been a little moody throughout certain parts of my day. I just cannot seem to fall asleep. I feel sleepy sometimes, but when I go to lay down in my bed all I do is stare up at the ceiling. I huff and puff, look at the current show on the screen, turn in my mate’s direction to make sure he’s still breathing, and then close my eyes attempting again to go to sleep. It just doesn’t work.

I wonder if my mind is just working overtime.

time-out-logo

*Brief Rant: Is it just me or is this lie, lay, lain crap getting on your nerves too? Microsoft word doesn’t even know which form to use.*

Back to the subject

My lack of sleep must have been from the excitement of the new site. With that said, I will go into the topic of creation.

Creation

Definition Of Creation: The act or process of bringing something to existence.

When I think of creation I think of possibility, the possibility to say something that has never been said before. I think of the possibility to reach a person in a way that they have never been reached before and of the possibility to connect to a powerful presence that waits patiently in the background for you to hear the call.

What do you think of when you think of creation?

What are you inspired to create?

What brings out your most creative moments?

If you have been sitting around waiting for a sign about something that you’ve been pondering here it is…

create something

My Creative Process

  1. First I start out with ideas. My inspiration comes to me in flashes. I will see a picture of something. It’s almost like a short film that plays in my head. Then I’ll hear certain words or phrases that go along with the flashes. Sometimes they are short; whispering, “describe this or imagine that”. Sometimes I will hear a voice, similar to mine, but more confident, whispering long phrases almost like it’s reciting poetry or telling a story. I know in those moments that it’s time for me to write.
  2.  After I have written down the initial idea more ideas will come. Again the information is brief. Usually what you would equate to a short blurb.
  3. Once I have tons of short phrases down on the page, I eliminate the ideas that do not evoke the most emotion from me.
  4. Once those are weeded out, I place the ideas in order like a story. I then have the outline.
  5. The rest usually flows only when I start to write the actual post or story.
  6. I let it flow, edit, find the right images, and then publish.

That’s my creative process.

Everyone is different.

How do you create? What way does inspiration hit you?

The God Energy

You know what is so fascinating to me about creation… Sometimes I may not understand something, but I will go to sleep (when I can) and have the most vivid dreams. My inner being knows me so intimately. It’s so amazing how the God energy will create a dream for me that leads me to the resources that I need to see my visions to fruition. I am working on developing my relationship with that magnificent energy and learning to trust my instincts more.

I am learning that the more I open up to that energy, the stronger my connection gets. The God energy is quite humorous, polite, attentive, and involved. I am astonished with how much patience God has with me.

Even when the critic inside of me “performs her ass off”, God just simply waits for it to settle down, and shows me something in a new light. I love that!

Following Your Impulses

I have learned over the past few days that you can’t jump at every impulse. Sometimes ideas come to you just to give you a glimpse of what’s to come.

I do however, write down most of the ideas that come to me. I don’t always jump into action, but I make sure that I jot it down.

  • Keep a notebook & pen/pencil with you.
  • Never discount an idea – write it down. You may use it later.
  • Take time to look up images and research the idea.
  • Never call your ideas stupid – they may need to evolve, but your ideas are not stupid.
  • Honor your impulses by acknowledging them and saying thank you. The more that you are grateful for what you have, the more it will be shown to you.
  • Do not demonize ideas – they are just ideas, thoughts, remnants of the past, or emotions that need to be expressed in a new way. Try instead to have an open mind about your ideas. If they do not resonate with you simply move on to the next idea that does.

My Newest Space

I love the feel of my new {Writing Heart Tumblr Page}. Stop by when you have a moment to check it out. There will be daily updates. Here is a snap shot of the page.

New Space

In Closing

I want to thank you all for stopping by and taking the time to read my posts. Please don’t be shy about leaving comments and/or sharing your own experiences in relation to the post topic. It helps me stay connected and form ideas for new posts in the future. Don’t forget to share and subscribe if you find the information in these articles helpful. Thanks again!

finished-heart Nay