So You’re A F*ck Up – Now What?

disappointment

So you screwed up again right?

You failed?

Your business isn’t doing so good, you lost your job, you blurted out the disgusting truth in a moment of drunken rage, you poured your heart and soul into a project and no one responded – no one liked it – no one shared.

So you’re a f*ck up right?

You must have some black cloud hanging over your head and must be destined for failure, because it feels as if the universe is playing a game of “lets see how bad this can get” with you.

If you answered yes or even hinted yes to any of the things that I said above – we need to talk.

What is it that causes you to be so hard on yourself and think that way? Is there no room for error or a misstep in your life?

Is it societal pressure?

Your inner critic?

I know what it is…

You’ve set the bar high for yourself and maybe you’ve fallen short of the finish line. 

You may have people depending on you and when things aren’t looking up, all the pressure falls on your shoulders. 

Your bills are piling up, and what you do – in terms of a creative business or your artistry – is NOT paying the bills. 

So your a screw up right, because things took a different turn and didn’t turn out the way that you had hoped for?

Okay, now that we got that out, sit with me for a moment and just breathe.

Take a moment to think about what you really want for your life.

Not what your kids want, not what your spouse wants, or your parents – what do you want? What do you enjoy?

Could you spend a little less time doing things you feel you are obligated to do, and spend a little more time doing the things that excite you and that you are passionate about.

If you are unhappy or feel like you are a failure, it’s only because you are doing things to please other people while neglecting yourself.

Consider this a wake up call. 

Consider this an opportunity to view the situation a little differently.

Where in your life are you not giving yourself permission to just be yourself, to pursue your passion, to follow the way that you feel in your heart you should go? What beliefs about your current path might you need to change in order to accommodate newer, richer, fuller opportunities and situations?

I know one thing for sure – you are not a screw up. Oh, but that inner critic would have you believe so.

The truth is, what you are really being called to do – is to create the life you really want for yourself – no exceptions.

The tensions, the conflicts, and blockages are all there because you are being called to examine how you feel about yourself,  how you treat yourself, and what you believe to be true for your life.

You are being called to give yourself permission to live, to create, to say no, to forgive, to let go, and to honor your true soul.

What you are going through right now is just the testing grounds for you to make way for what you really desire in your life, and the most important thing that you need to know right now is – be kind to yourself.

Trust yourself a little more.

Allow your missteps.

It’s all a part of the process.

You are redefining, testing, feeling things out, building your foundation for a stronger relationship with your core. Don’t be so hard on yourself for things not working out in the way you had planned. Life will throw you another piece, and another piece, and another piece.

Readjust your thinking and feel your way through this process with love, compassion, and new thoughts.

I’m rooting for you because I’ve been through it too, and it doesn’t just go away. You have to cultivate a new way of seeing yourself and believing in yourself so that you can start to attract new experiences.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide

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Your Heart’s True Desire vs. What You Think You Desire

flower

I consider myself a loyal person.

That’s why when my sister called to tell me she was going into labor, I was in the car quicker than she could finish her sentence.

When I went into labor, I expected the same treatment.

I expected her to drop everything just like I did. I expected her bags to be packed (just like mine), and for her to be willing to stay the night, if that’s what I needed from her, but she didn’t.

She instead decided that showing up for work was more important. I, of course, was hurt. I felt like I didn’t matter enough to her for her to drop what she was doing to see me through that time in my life, but my perception was wrong. 

I didn’t notice that my perception was off until I was sitting in my hospital room and I noticed how peaceful it was.

My hubby was breathing and preparing himself for the arrival of our son and the nurses were quietly walking in and out to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and mine. As I sat there in peace, I noticed the perfection of the moment.

I noticed that what I thought I wanted and what I really wanted, were two very different things. 

I really wanted my son’s birth to be between me, my significant other, and the earth angels (the doctors and nurses), that were called to bring him into the world.

I realized that I didn’t want or need anyone else to be there, but the one who had seen me at my most vulnerable and that knew how important the birth of my son was to me.

I also realized how important it was for my significant other to have his privacy as well. You see, he had lost a child from a previous relationship, and this was a very momentous and somewhat frightening occasion for him as well.

The universe had lined up circumstances and events that led me and my significant other to what we really wanted and not to what we thought we wanted. God saw the bigger picture. God knew that I wouldn’t want my sister’s job to be in jeopardy and also knew that I didn’t want anyone in the room that would be worried or resentful for being there.

The birth of my son was perfect.

The people that were supposed to be there – were there, and it turned out better than I could have imagined. I just needed to let go of the idea that something was going wrong, and open to the fact that things were really working in my favor.

So if you are going through something right now that doesn’t seem to be working out the way that you had planned, just realize that you are on your way to something better. You are in good hands and you are being guided to your heart’s real desire and not just to what you think you desire.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide

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Two Kinds Of Fear

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I came across a video where Tara Sophia Mohr was speaking about her favorite teaching about fear.

In the video Tara explains that she learned that there are two different types of fear.

Pachad (the fear of projected or imagined things) – this type fear is where we see threats and dangers that are not really there and Yirah (the fear-like feeling we feel when we are touching the sacred) – this type of fear is the fear we feel when we are inhabiting a larger space that we are use to.

It took me by surprise to hear the new “Yirah” definition of fear. I had never thought about fear in that way, although I had experienced it before, and still do.

I felt it when writing my book Journey Through Sattara. I kept feeling like the book was bigger than me, and like it came from a huge source because it just flowed through me.

I felt it when I started my blog and started putting my feelings, experiences, and heart out on the line. The small in me wanted me to just be quiet.

I still feel it sometimes when I offer my time and services by translating the energy of my spirit guides Ray.

The part of me that is use to being quiet, stepping on eggshells, and asking for permission, cannot fathom such an open and free form of expression. I’ve experienced both types of fears, but the “Yirah” form of fear is the one I seem to be encountering the most on my journey as an intuitive guide.

I am being asked in this intuitive work to lay my rational mind to the side, to believe in miracles and synchronicity, to trust my gut, and not the statistics. It’s not easy considering that we are brought up to use history and numbers as fact and not our natural drives and instincts.

The divine in us wants us to loosen up, allow more, feel more, experience more, and that’s a lot to take in for our more reserved, structured-based personalities. 

Have you recognized this type of new fear (Yirah) in your life as you’ve moved towards your dreams or towards new life experiences?

If so, tell us about it in the comments section.

It takes some practice to get use to the divine within you, but it’s possible. Everyday you just have to remind yourself that you are here to show your divine nature. It’s welcomed and encouraged, and you don’t have to rush it.

Just relax into your new sense of freedom and love, and after a while the sense of Yirah will begin to fade away.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide 

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Love Letter For Those Who Feel Overwhelmed

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Intuitively guided to speak these words to you…

Yes you.

Take it easy. One day at a time. There is no rush. I know it seems like there is so much to get done, but I’d rather you take an easier pace and be happy, than rush through life and miss the special moments you came here for.

Just breathe.

Have you sat quietly with yourself lately, heard your heartbeat, listened to the wind whistle, or the birds sing? Those things matter too.

Those moments of peace are an essential component of restoring your soul.

So slow down. Try not to demand so much of yourself. Things will work out. Don’t forget that you are never alone. There is a presence backing your existence. Just you breathing is enough.

Feel that, know it, and lay your burden down.

Love Renee

Intuitive Guide

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Love Letter For Those Who Can’t See Their Light

white rose

Intuitively guided to write these words to you…

Yes you.

There’s a place of goodness inside of you. No matter what you have done, no matter what they’ve called you, no matter how many negative thoughts you’ve had about yourself, no matter how many bridges you have burned, no matter how many nights you’ve stayed up thinking you were worthless – you matter.

I know it’s hard right now, and I know you can’t find your way, but I am rooting for you, because I was once where you are now, and honestly, some days, I still get low. I still shed tears. We are human.

There were many nights that I sat around waiting for someone to point out my goodness, to tell me I was worth it, and so now, as I sit here somewhat mended from my broken hearted days, I am able to give you what I once was so desperately seeking. I am here to tell you – you are enough, you have good inside of you, and you are worthy of being loved.

Forgive yourself, see your light, and don’t give up.

Love Renee

Intuitive Guide

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It’s Not Okay To Create

thoughts and creation

It’s not okay to create…

At least, it seems that way sometimes.

When I am washing the dishes, my son plays quietly in his playpen. When I am folding and washing tons of clothes, all is well. The universe conspires to give me the space and freedom to cook, clean, and tend to the house – no questions asked, but the minute I go to sit down and write, paint, or dig into the pieces of one of my juicy dreams, everything goes wrong.

My child clings to me for dear life, the phone rings, dings, and buzzes, the door bell rings, stuff falls in the kitchen, etc – you get the point.

So what is it?

Why is it, that the moment we go to focus our time and attention on our art, something goes wrong or distracts us?

Is it not okay to be creative?

Is it not okay to spend your time wondering what next piece of art you are going to bring to life?

Is the universe conspiring against the idea of filling our lives with pleasurable experiences?

The answer is no, but there is someone conspiring against your creativity, and that someone is YOU.

Your thoughts and beliefs are what’s conspiring against you.

You see, we all have ideas about what we can do and what we can’t do – what is allowed and what’s not allowed – what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate.

We also carry around this huge sense of responsibility, so when we go to steal a few minutes to lose ourselves in our art or indulge in our passion, the warning bell inside goes off and screams “defiance”.

So what do you do?

It’s damn there impossible to abandon your craft. It will bang on the doors of your heart and mind until you let it in…

So do you sell your children, take your savings, and catch the first flight out of here to a private island?

Nope… don’t go that far. 

But what you can do is – create anyway!

Leave the dishes aside, place your child in a loved one’s care, turn off your phone, and create!

I know that it’s difficult, but when you choose to create anyway, you are letting your inner world know that creativity is an essential part of your being, and that its existence in your world is not up for discussion.

By constantly reminding yourself of this and easing up on yourself when you allow yourself these creative breaks, you start to see the world around you work with you to help you get more time to yourself.

But you have to ease up on yourself first. You have to stop feeling so guilty for leaving some things aside to honor your passion and your soul.

It’s an essential part of being happy and enjoying your life. 

Just think about it – you start to feel miserable when you deny yourself the time and space to do what you love – don’t you?

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

loneliness

I use the dental office as a place to practice my skills of patience and ease.

You see, I hate the dentist (the uncomfortable chair, not being in control, the pain that comes with getting work done on my teeth) – absolutely hate it.

But I use that uncomfortable place as a testing ground for centering myself. It’s where I let myself know that it’s okay to be uncomfortable. It’s where I show myself that it’s okay to feel pain and uneasiness and that I don’t have to hide or run away from it.

You may be going through some pain right now too.

There may be some uneasiness, discomfort, a difficult situation, or insert unpleasant feeling “here” that you may be experiencing.

I am here to tell you that it’s okay to feel the way that you do.

You are going to have bad days sometimes, and that’s okay.

You are going to be unhappy sometimes and that’s okay.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings are not worthy of being explored, felt fully, and expressed.

Sometimes it seems like the world is so quick to try to make you put on a happy face or fake that everything is okay – as if there is no room for any imperfections or negative feelings at all, but the more you resist your pain, frustration, and anger – the more it shows up.

“What you resist, persists.” C.G. Jung

So what does the dental office have to do with all of this?

Well, it’s where I show myself that no matter what I am feeling – I can adjust home.

It’s where I practice trusting the moment, the skill of the doctor, and trusting my own ability to make it through whatever pain I may experience. I notice that when I loosen up and allow, it makes for a much smoother experience. Whenever you are facing an uncomfortable situation, see if you can start to view the situation as an opportunity to see how much you have grown or to practice adjusting home.

I realize that I have everything I need to make it through and so do you.

No matter what situation you are going through.

So experience it all – the pain, the frustration, the anger, and the disappointment with things not going your way. It’s okay to admit that you have these feelings and I’ll let you in on a secret – it’s okay to feel. It means that you’re human – not that you are unworthy or bad – but human.

So feel it fully and adjust home. Feel it fully and adjust home. Feel it fully and adjust home. Ride the discomfort, but have compassion for yourself and steady yourself in the midst of the storm.

Trust yourself.

Trust the process.

Trust your ability to make it through.

I’m not going to promise you that you will never have another bad day, but I will say that you will no longer have to be a slave to your pain or a prisoner to your discomfort. With practice, you will learn how to face it, embrace it, and find your center easier.

You will make it through.

Face your fears, embrace your pain, and set it free – are your ready for a BREAKTHROUGH?

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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