Share Your Insight Mompreneurs

share-your-insight-mompreneur

Hello Mompreneur. What An Honor It Is To Have You Here.

I know you’re busy tending to your business and other responsibilities, and I just want to say thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to be here.

I Need Your Help.

I’m reaching out to you to ask – how do you do it?

How do you find the time & balance to grow your business, share your art, and make sure your child/children get what they need too?

I’m at a stage right now where the urge is stronger than ever to do what I love and honor my business dreams. The challenge however, is that I have a two-year-old running around – all day long – until his head hits the pillow. He is quite active.

I love my son, and he’s one of my greatest teachers, but I can’t seem to find the space to honor my other goals/dreams without feeling guilty or like I’m doing something wrong by pursuing other interests.

Also, he demands ALOT of my attention. He wants me all to himself (I’m sure other moms can relate).

So Mompreneur, How Do You Do It?

I’m his caretaker, and daycare is out of the question right now.

If I leave my goals aside to just tend to him – I feel unfulfilled, and if I put my time & attention into growing my business – I feel guilty.

All of you mompreneurs are doing such a great job by following your passion & putting your heart out there. I notice, and have even reached out to some of you to let you know. You really do make a difference in the world, and I would like to do the same.

So can you share some of your tips/advice with me and other moms who are starting out with their businesses? It takes alot of time and attention to grow a business and to raise a child.

So, How Did You Do It?

  • Did you feel the guilt?
  • Did you have to adopt new beliefs and push through certain times?
  • What made you keep going even when doubt and fear crept in?

You can share your insight in the comments below, or if you have an article that you’ve written that relates to this subject, feel free to add a link in the comments. I would love to get your take on this issue. In a future post, I’ll compile a list of these comments as a “guide to balancing motherhood and business – from the experts”.

I’m sure I can speak for everyone when I say – your heart’s desires are not going to go away, and I’m reaching out to you because you’ve been through it, and I really value your opinion. Thanks in advance for your insight.

Live Well & Keep Creating!

Renee B.

Creator Of Spirit & Muse

P.S. If you have some time and you’re looking for a good laugh, check out “7 Things A Mother Of A Toddler Wants But Would Never Ask For”. The list was created in fun, and I’m sure alot of moms can relate to the list.


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How have you balanced motherhood and entrepreneurship?


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Motherhood: My Toddler Is My Teacher

Motherhood

How can someone so small (a 2-year-old), teach me so much about myself? It’s amazing what you can learn from watching your little one live life. Our toddlers are moody sometimes, irrational, and they want what they want, but even with all of that rebellious behavior, our children have so much to teach us. Come find out why my toddler is my teacher

 

Why That Negative Situation May Be A Blessing In Disguise

YESTERDAY, MY HUBBY WAS ON THE PHONE WITH HIS FATHER AND HAD HIM ON SPEAKER PHONE.

Somehow, they got into a conversation about how to raise my son.

His father kept saying something along the lines of, your son could be great, you have to teach him, you have to read to him, you have to show him how to learn, listen to me – I am teaching you all how to raise your kid kind of vibe.

For some reason I was taking everything that he said very personal. We do all of those things and more, and my hubby’s father assuming that we didn’t, really bothered me.

On top of that, he had a really stern tone, and was saying all those things as if we weren’t raising our child right.

It started to get under my skin, so I walked away for a moment and I thought to myself, why am I attracting this kind of situation? Why am I attracting a phone call where it seems as if his father is downing our parenting skills?

I shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it for the night. But today, while I was in the shower, the thought came back to me.

WHY HAD I ATTRACTED SUCH A NEGATIVE CONVERSATION?

Another thought occurred to me right after that.

Where did I recently feel like I wasn’t a good mother or a fit parent?

You see, I can tell when negativity shows up, that I must have been thinking something along those same lines.

So when the question above came up, I just smiled to myself and said, ohhhhhhh I was thinking that.

A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE INCIDENT, I HAD GOTTEN REALLY UPSET WITH MY TODDLER, AND I YELLED AT HIM.

Obviously, I felt like shit because I had gone a little over board and didn’t control my anger.

Anyway, after I yelled at him, I started crying because I was so frustrated with myself.

I started saying things like, I can’t do this. I’m not built for this mom thing. I am losing my patience. I can’t manage this. I felt like an unfit mother.

Now those thoughts were way out of line, and I probably just needed a nap or something, but I could suddenly see where the negative situation with my hubby’s father stemmed from.

It stemmed from my thoughts and feelings about not being a good mother. So something showed up in my experience to amplify exactly what I felt.

DO YOU SEE HOW IT’S ALL CONNECTED?

If we dig a little deeper, the situation was showing me something even more profound.

It was showing me the ability I had to recognize and respond differently to the situation.

Just like I recognized that the conversation with his father was a bit off key, and I walked away. I could have done the same thing when I got frustrated with my son.

It was showing me that I have the ability to respond differently – in any situation. I don’t have to wait until a situation gets out of control or something negative shows up to beat me over the head.

IT WAS AN EXCELLENT LESSON, AND A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

I believe that all the things that show up in our life, have something to teach us. Sometimes we miss the lesson, but I got this message loud and clear.

When a negative situation shows up in your life next time, see how the situation makes you feel, and then ask yourself, where in my life have I felt this same way lately?

With just that little bit of investigating, you’ll see where the situation stems from, and you’ll be able to do something about the root cause of it.

The root cause usually has something to do with how you feel about yourself. That situation that is appearing in front of you is just amplifying something that you are holding inside.

RECOGNIZE IT, LAUGH AT IT, AND THEN COMMEND YOURSELF FOR BRINGING IT TO YOUR AWARENESS.

We can’t change how other people act, but we can change our response to it. We can’t make other people value us, but we can remove the parts within our own self where we degrade and speak negatively towards ourselves.

{TWEETABLE} Change in your inner world leads to change in your outer world. #soulguidance

Remember that. Empower yourself. Shift what you say to yourself and how you treat yourself.

Thanks for reading.

With love,

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide


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Have you had a negative situation that turned out to be a blessing in disguise? If so, share your experience in the comments below.


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Motherhood: When He or She Falls and It’s Your Fault

If you are reading this, it probably happened – you know… the big fall.

It probably makes you cringe just to think about it, and probably breaks your heart to know that your baby’s fall happened while in your care.

If you are a new mother, you may be looking for advice from other parents about the fall or you may be looking to ease some of the guilt you feel about the incident.

If either one of those statements is true, you’ve come to the right place.

I know I can’t take away all of the negative feelings about the incident, but I can share my own experience and the lessons I learned from parenting a rambunctious little boy for 13 months now.

I remember how soothed I felt when I went searching for information on the subject and then realized I wasn’t alone.

First of all, take a deep breath, and take heed to my words.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT just because your child fell while in your care.

I know that you try to be all things at all times, and speaking from a mother’s perspective, we sometimes feel obligated to protect our child from every scrape and every bruise.

Let me save you the trouble by letting you know – it’s impossible.

If you’re a first time mother, like me, you may feel the guilt much more because you haven’t quite built up your experience in the motherhood field, and this thing then comes out of the blue and crushes you. At least, that’s what it feels like.

Let me tell you a little about my experience.

My son (who was 9 months old at the time) FELL. OUT. OF. HIS. PLAYPEN.

Holy shit was I a mess.

It felt like the whole thing happened in slow motion, but also in an instant.

I could see him climb up on his turtle toy that was in his playpen, and pull himself over the edge. I just couldn’t get to him in time.

Without going into the theatrics of it, lets just say I felt like shit afterwards.

There were some things that I learned from the experience however, that helped me, and I want to share those things with you.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. So if you need true medical assistance please be sure to contact your child’s pediatrician or if your child’s fall seems severe, call 911 or go to the emergency room.

With that said, here are 5 tips to help walk you through your child’s fall.

#1 Don’t Panic

  • There is nothing worse than being in a situation that needs your full attention and you being out of it.

#2 Realize – Your Baby’s Bones Are Different Than Yours

  • Their bones are softer than adults, so they are less susceptible to fractures and breaks.

#3 Check Your Baby Out Before Freaking Out

  • Is your baby disoriented?
  • Is your baby crawling or walking awkwardly after the fall?
  • Is your baby crying for an excessive amount of time (15 minutes or more)? If so, there may be an injury that you don’t notice. Report the signs to your child’s pediatrician or a doctor to see what the next course of action is.

#4 Do A Snap Test

  • Snap your fingers left, then right, then up, then down (one direction at a time – seeing if your child follows the sound). If so, chances are, your baby is just fine. Keep monitoring the child, and do another snap test 15 minutes later.

#5 Keep An Eye On Your Child’s Behavior For 24 Hours

  • If your child fell and all seems okay from the list above, chances are, your baby is just fine. Just keep an eye on them for the next 24 hours though. It’s your baby’s first fall, and it won’t be his or her last. It’s best if you know what to check for. You can also ask your pediatrician if they have a list of signs to look for after your baby’s fall; if you want additional information.
  • Some doctors also recommend not letting your child go to sleep for at least an hour after his or her fall. Just monitor the baby closely during that hour. That’s another little tip.

I hope these tips help.

The most important thing to remember is – DON’T PANIC.

I know it’s easier said than done – trust me.

Breathe through it and try to remain calm so that you can assess the situation and get help, if needed.

Speaking from a first time mother perspective, we sometimes try to be in all places at all times, and the very last thing that we want to happen is our child getting hurt.

The truth is… we can’t be in all places at all times, but we can take each situation that we are faced with – one step at a time.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

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The Negativity Received For Being A Stay At Home Mom

negativity

Man, being a mother is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.

You would think that people would support the idea of you working from home and tending to your child, but the truth is – they don’t.

Some tend to think that just because you “stay home” – you have an “easy life”.

That is furthest from the truth.

I feel myself having to defend my position of being a stay at home mom and wanting to work from home, and I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal to other people.

I mean, you really can’t understand why I am not rushing out the door to go work for another company when all I see are angry posts all up and down my Facebook feed about how people hate their jobs?

The traditional route, for some people is okay, but for me, I need more freedom than that.

I mean a steady paycheck is nice, but I’d honestly rather take my chances with doing something I love (running my Soul Guidance business and writing), rather than following someone else’s plan for my life.

Although I am putting my time and effort into my new business and raising my son, people still look at me and wonder when I am going to get a real job.

People tend to form a cruel opinion about people who “stay at home” or that don’t go out to work the “traditional route” to support themselves.

I’ve even received angry words from my own sister about my chosen path, and I must admit that it hurts. It hurts because instead of her realizing that I am trying to follow my own creative path, she thinks that I am being irresponsible by not working a regular job.

To some people it’s all about the money.

They work and work and work – spend all day in someone else’s dream and barely have any time to spend with their family. Yes they make money and put food on the table, but you can’t see that you’re eating your meals at 11 pm, in a comatose state, barely able to enjoy those moments because you are thinking about the next day when you have to wake up and do it all again.

I can’t live like that – I want, desire, and am moving in the direction of a different way. I am sorry if that seems lazy to you, or irresponsible, or not worthy of gaining your approval.

I have a 10 month old son – a rambunctious, hardheaded, love him to death, but gets into everything – son. That is work enough in itself! That is two full time jobs! I love him to death, but those of you who have sons will understand where I am coming from – he is a handful.

On top of that, I offer my time and resources providing Inner Work Sessions to those who are looking for guidance in their life and on their chosen path as well. If that is not enough for some people, than I don’t know what to do for you. I don’t know what to say either.

I realize one thing though.

I shouldn’t have to defend this position. I shouldn’t have to explain to people why I chose a different route. Those who truly know me and understand where I am coming from will support me, and those who don’t – won’t, and I have to learn to be okay with that.

I don’t want someone else dictating what time I can go to the bathroom, when I can take my breaks, or how much time I can take off – to take care of myself. I need a different set-up than that. So I chose to let that route go, and follow my heart into something else that I believe works better with the vision I have for my life.

When you start to follow your dreams, some people do anything they can to bring you down or to try to snap you back into reality (the reality that they want you to live in). The reason they do this is because if you have the courage to follow your dreams – they no longer have an excuse not to follow theirs.

I know what I want for my life, I know who I am, and I give myself full permission to follow the path that I believe will work for me.

I hope you give yourself full permission to do the same.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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What Pregnancy Taught Me About Letting Go

letting go

I am a control freak.

Most of the time I want to know where, when, why, and how something is going to happen.

I am the kind of person that gets anxiety from waiting for surprises and gets very annoyed when I can’t figure out what’s coming next.

Let me tell you that pregnancy took the “control freak” in me and humbled it.

There was nothing that I could do from the moment that I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, but very much afraid that I would have no control over the process.

I would have to spend 9 months not knowing what my surprise looked like. I would have to wait to hold my baby in my arms. I would have to go to sleep not knowing if everything was going to be okay, and wake up to anxiety attacks because I wasn’t sure if I could support my child, and if I was fit to be a good mother.

All that waiting, anxiety, and not knowing, and there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it.

Life is like that too. You build a business or try to follow your dreams and you have no idea what the outcome is going to be. You have to spend months – sometimes years waiting for your dreams to grow, but just like having a child, you have to trust in the unseen.

You just have to hope for the best, keep yourself in good health, allow yourself to grow, and face the challenges that come along with trying to nurture something into the world. I had no control over my baby’s development. I didn’t know how many fingers and toes he would be born with. I didn’t know if I was going to have all the stuff that I needed to make him comfortable when he was born.

But because it was my heart’s desire to bring a child into this world, everything that I needed showed up.

I realized that I didn’t have to be so afraid, and that I didn’t have control over the process anyway. All I could do was relax into what had the potential to be a great experience if I let it.

I have to tell you that I let it be the experience that I believed in, and it was wonderful.

I now get to see my gift (my son) everyday. Everyday there is something new that I love about him. I allowed myself to receive what I really desired – regardless of not knowing exactly what the outcome was going to be.

If there is one thing that I want you take away from this post, it’s that life is unpredictable sometimes. You cannot control every aspect of it, and it’s exhausting to try. All you can do is expect the best, trust in the people that are around you to do what they came to do, trust in your ability to nurture yourself into the flow of receiving, and then watch the experience manifest into something beautiful.

Thanks for reading!

Here are some photos of my son.

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I Sense Overwhelm – How Many Roles Are Crying Out For Your Attention?

Roles

I Had A Dream Last Night That Got Me Thinking About My Journey Into The Unknown.

As some of you know, I have been working on exploring newer, fuller, richer opportunities for myself.

I have taken steps to see a world unfold that I never even dreamed of when I was younger. This exploration of the self, exploring my goodness, and what I could potentially be, are all very new ideas for me.

With That Said, I Feel Like I Am Being Pulled In 100 Different Directions.

I am trying to be a good mother, a good wife, trying to write my next book, run a soul guidance business, and still trying to do my inner work so that I can grow to be the best person that I can be. That’s alot of damn hats to wear. But I can’t give up on my dreams because they are calling me.

I have never been so close to so many possibilities, and I must admit that it scares the hell out of me.

Especially since I feel I am doing it alone. I mean I have support, don’t get me wrong, but alot of my family and friends don’t really support my dream. They support me, but they just don’t really get this whole “want to be a writer” and “soul guidance counselor” type thing. They just don’t get it, and therefore they don’t support it as much as I would like them to.

I don’t blame them though. People have their own lives to live. They can barely navigate their own waters, let alone try to help someone that is wayyyyyyy out there in the ocean, and that has thrown away the oars (lost her mind). That is what they probably think about me chasing what they believe to be a “pipe dream”.

I Almost Followed Someone Else’s Idea Of A Dream The Other Day.

Bless her heart, my sister said to me the other day, “why don’t you become an accountant?” She asked me that question because I was helping her with her taxes – which was a polite way to say, why don’t you get a real job and start making some real money. 

The funny part about that story is that I actually considered it for a minute…

How About You?

How many different roles do you play? How many things right now are crying for your time and attention? Do you feel like you are trying to follow your dreams with little to no support? Does it overwhelm you sometimes – like it does to me?

My Dream Last Night Showed Me My Fears So Clearly.

In the dream I was on this beautiful cliff in Antigua about to plunge into this beautiful multi-colored ocean, but the drop was 100+ feet down. I thought I was going to die in the dream so I just stood there on the cliff paralyzed by fear.

Many different thoughts ran through my mind. What if I can’t swim? What if I can’t breathe? What if I am not strong enough to pull myself back up once I plunge into the water?

Isn’t That How It Goes When We Are Getting Ready To Take The Leap Into Different Parts Of Our Experience?

When we’re getting ready to accept a new job or new opportunities, when we are leaving the old stuff behind and moving into the unknown, or when we simply change our minds and move in a different direction.

Fear paralyzes us, and we remain stuck or overwhelm sets in and we feel that we cannot fulfill all these different roles we are being called to play. There are a few things that I want to remind you (and myself) of, because we do have our own answers. The only problem is, we don’t believe that we have the right answers sometimes or we aren’t taking the time to implement small changes that could make a world of difference.

So Here Are The Reminders

  • Your desires and dreams matter, and you do not have to push them to the side.
  • There is space for all (your family, your desires, relationship wise, etc).
  • Don’t penalize yourself for wanting all aspects of your life to work (the relationship aspect, the financial aspect, or the artistry aspect).
  • We were created to express many different parts of ourself at once.
  • We can decide to marry (commit fully) to those things we love, and divorce (withdrawal our time and attention) from the things that we do not love or care for.
  • If you are overwhelmed you can stop for a while. When you return, take baby steps. You don’t have to complete or get everything right all at one time. Stop thinking you have to do everything all at once.
  • That “have to finish everything right now” mentality is a perfectionist mindset. Staying in that kind of mindset leaves no room for you to breathe, no room for you to change your mind, or commit errors, and learn from your missteps. Staying in that perfectionist mindset is the quickest way to get yourself overwhelmed.
  • Fear is natural, but there is a new you on the other side of fear. Work on standing up for yourself and your dreams little by little. Say yes a little more, and criticize yourself for wanting more – a little less.

Learn To See Your Roles Differently

You obviously are a valuable asset in all of the roles that you play. You just gotta try not to overwhelm yourself with thoughts of being perfect in each role. There is time and space for each one of your dreams. As a matter of fact, all the roles you play, have the potential to bring out the best in you – you just have to see it in that way.

Your not being asked to be perfect. You are being asked to just be yourself – in all aspects of your life – as fully as you know how.

Another Reminder

You have your own answers. You know what you love and what you want to invest your time and energy into. Do more of that, and less of what you don’t want to do.

Be Patient

It takes time to cultivate new habits. Especially when you are doing something as scary as following your dreams.

It takes a step here and a step there, faith here and readjusting there, a leap here and holding out there.

There’s no set pattern, but you can find a rhythm that brings you into harmony with all the aspects of your life that you care about the most. Focus on bringing harmony to the elements that you care about the most. It’s not quantity – it’s quality.

When you are with your kids – be with them fully. When you are working on your art – be with it fully. When you are doing the dishes – be with that fully. It takes times to develop the habit of staying in the present moment, but you can do it. I’m rooting for you to be fulfilled in all areas of your life!

P.S. Click Here For Soul Guidance

Thanks for reading!

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A Brand New Role – MOTHER

I’m A Mom!

I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since my last post. Wow, how time flies! Alot has transpired in that amount of time, and I am blown away at how quickly life can change. I stand here in disbelief as I look at my son and remember the article that I wrote not too long ago about being unwed, having no children, and being unemployed. In what seems like the blink of an eye – the “no children” part of my life was replaced with great joy!

On August 13th, 2014 I gave birth to my first born, NOAH. In addition to the other titles I hold in life (writer, blogger, self-published author), I can also add Mother to the list! I have always wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I can finally say that, that dream has come true. I never thought that I would have children later in life. According to my plan, I was going to graduate high school, go to college, get a good paying job, get married, buy a home, and have two kids by at least the age of 25. Ummmm yea, it’s funny how things don’t turn out the way that we see them in our heads.

I did graduate high school, but that “college, nice house, married and 2 kids by 25 dream” did not happen. I am 31 years old and I just had my son. It’s funny how life turns out so differently than the way that you plan it. I have no complaints right now though. I am sooooo happy that I did not have children early. It takes ALOT to raise a child. I am not just talking about financially, I am talking about mentally, emotionally, and physically. I don’t think that I could have handled having two kids at age 25. I had to be ready, and I am so glad that God had a different plan for me.

I Don’t Want To Just Be A Mom – I Want To Be A Great Mom

I now have the son that I have always wanted, and with that comes wanting the best for him. He is 2 months old, and he looks up at me with such eyes of wonder and excitement. His stare sometimes seems like he’s waiting to absorb my words or waiting for me to teach him something new about life. My response to his innocent wonder is a teary eyed look back in his direction because sometimes I feel there is no way that I can give him all that I feel he deserves.

I, myself, am trying to find out where I fit in, in this life. I have not the slightest idea how to teach him the ropes of life – so to speak. I haven’t mastered life, and honestly I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to satisfying that curious look in his eyes.

I do know however that I have plenty of love to give him. There will not be a day that goes by that he doesn’t receive a kiss good night and good morning from me. There won’t be a day that goes by that he cries for my attention, and I am not there. There won’t be a day that goes by that he doesn’t know how special he is to me, and how just his smile brightens up my whole day.

My Real New Role

My new role is not to just be a mother. My real new role is to be a listener, to be a protector, to share my failures with him and my successes, to be honest with him, to let him know that the road is not always easy, to let him know that it’s okay to be himself (always). My new role is to be his comforter in times of sorrow or pain. To be his cheerleader when he’s at his highest point and his shoulder to cry on when he’s at his lowest.

Honestly, I know that all mothers wish they could go ahead of their children and place little markers along the way that warns them what to stay away from, and that eases them towards what is most fulfilling. I wish I could! I wish I had a GPS that told me exactly where my son was going. I would prepare the way so that it was the most comfortable and so that he wouldn’t get his heart broken or experience too much pain along the way.

As a mother, I don’t ever want him to feel any pain, but I know that, that is not possible. He is going to go through things that I cringe at just the thought of, but I will be there to love him through whatever it is that he experiences.

The Hardest Job In The World

It’s funny how for that past few years I have called myself unemployed. Now I can say that I am a stay-at-home mom. There is no job on the face of this earth that is more difficult than being a mother. It’s not only that you tend to the house, do the cleaning, and make sure the ship runs smoothly. It’s that you do all of that and do not get a dime for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything and everything for my son, and I don’t need any money in return. I love providing (in whatever way I can for him). The point that I am trying to make however is that sometimes mothers are taken for granted. It’s not that we ask for anything in return it’s just that it’s nice to hear “thank you” sometimes. It’s nice to see that all the love and nurturing that we put into the household and raising the children is appreciated sometimes.

Imagine getting spit up on several times a day, changing dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, hearing your name called 50 times an hour, getting no sleep, being looked at to provide all the solutions to every problem, with no pay, no vacation, and no time off. It’s a difficult thing to do. It’s not easy at all, and although I am not at the stage where I hear my name called 50 times a day, I know plenty of mothers who are. But I am a mom who gets very little to no sleep and that’s expected to clean and cook and keep everything else together.

For me, it’s easier than some others because my significant other appreciates all that I do, and helps out tremendously, but there are some mothers out there who do not receive the thanks that they deserve. I want to say,

“You’re A Warrior and Thank You For All You Do!”

In Closing

I am excited to see where this new chapter in my life is headed. I appreciate the entire pregnancy experience. It was beautiful and I wouldn’t trade my son for anything in the world. I love the idea that he is an infinite ball of possibility, and that he can be, do, or have anything in this life that he desires. My job is to just be there to encourage the best out of him at all times. Sometimes, I don’t think I have what it takes to raise a child, but other times I breathe easy knowing that if I didn’t have what it took – Noah wouldn’t be here. So I must step boldly and confidently in the direction of all I desire and that itself will teach him all he needs to know in order to do the same.

Thank you so much for reading!

finished-heart Nay