The response below is a response to my recent post for Truth Be Told Tuesday.
The writer who calls himself Emotional Emotionless asked that I not reveal his real name or his profile. Out of respect, I have done exactly what he has asked. Thank you so much Emotional Emotionless for sharing your thoughts with us, on this platform, in this way!
Here is his response to the Truth Be Told Tuesday post written on 12/9/14.
With permission from the author of this response, the post has been edited for clarity.
I’m afraid that I won’t exist in the world. In my heart I feel I can do so much good, show so much love, and teach so many my helpful ways. I was always a kind-hearted loving soul, waiting to burst out on canvas. I’m afraid that my heart will only be a memory in a few people. They are all good people, but I want the world to feel what I feel, and be able to develop a love from it.
I’m afraid that one day I will die. You know – plan to wake up and I won’t one day. I’m afraid that I will die and miss something spectacular in the world.
I’m afraid I’m going to come across as stupid. Alot of the time I know what I want to say, but my mind has either a brain fart or thinks really quickly, and I will end up at the end of a sentence before even getting the middle part out when speaking or writing. I feel I am really smart and I try to slow down, but I just can’t. It’s like my brain thinks some words or phrases are irrelevant.
I’m afraid that one day I am going to get so mad at the work that I’m going to forget about my dreams and desires. I imagine me getting an iron man suit and going around to correct all the wrongs in the world. People would hear these thoughts in my head and think I am crazy for even thinking of these things or seeing them in my head. They won’t see what I’m trying to do. They would think I’m too old to think like that, but I would get upset and tell them to look at the way they’re thinking and what they’re doing in the world. It’s not FUCKING WORKING!!! We need a new way of thinking – perhaps even like kids.
I’m afraid that I won’t get my desires. That being good and nice won’t get me what I want. It will only get me cheated. Sometimes I even feel like – yes it will come – but it never does. I’m afraid that God would see me (his son), and think that I have asked for too much. He will then not allow me to get the things that I desire and that I know I need. I’m afraid that the thoughts of me thinking like a kid and getting whatever I want will run out. I’m afraid that day has finally come – with no way out, no help, and no guidance.
Written By: Emotional Emotionless