Internal Bullying

Internal Bullying

What Is Internal Bullying?

It’s a process that goes on inside of you, that stifles your creativity, your movement, and your progression to the new and better life that awaits you.

Some Of You Are Fully Aware Of Its Presence.

Think about it – that moment that you go to do something new, and the little voice inside tells you that you better not do it. The voice that has you doubting your ability to perform because of some past failure. The voice that can’t see anything good in you at all, and that wants you to know that you f*cked up in a major way, and you better not even think about forgiving yourself for what you did. It’s the voice inside that spends its days making your life a living hell just because.

It’s so funny because there could be a part of you that has grown and and that wants you to see your situation in a different light. You may even be ready to heal and move on from the incident, but there is something else inside that just will not let you forget what happened. It’s not even that it’s just a nuisance – it goes around and spreads its virus through each area of your life.

As a result, you end up questioning your gut instincts, denying yourself the freedom to choose new things, and you also end up questioning your integrity and your entire path in life.

In your heart you know you are meant to be free. In your heart you know that things are meant to work out for you, but there is this internal bully that stops you at the gates. It doesn’t want you to pass. It wants you to remain helpless, hopeless, and feeling like nothing.

Why?

Because somewhere in your life, you made a mistake that you thought was unforgivable, unfixable, and unresolvable. So this energy took that opinion that you concluded about yourself and made it into your worst nightmare.

It doesn’t show up full forced and ready for war. No, it wouldn’t want you to see its craziness and catch on to what it’s doing to you. Instead, it shows up as a negative thought here and there. It moves into your space stealthily, and sabotages your thoughts of success.

Think about the times when you are thinking about following your heart. Following your heart should be a no brainer. It should be something that is automatic and unquestionable, but how often do you question if the decision to follow your gut, your inner promptings, and your intuition was correct?

That’s Internal Bullying.

If you have to question if you can be free to honor your life’s calling, follow your bliss, and put your best foot out into the world – you have some serious internal bullying going on – make no mistake about it.

Your heart knows what that heartless energy is doing to you, but you sometimes have to step outside of yourself to recognize it. That’s why there are so many teachers, aids, angels, and guides out there pointing you in the right direction. They are around because sometimes we can’t see what the problem is. We are constantly asking for the solution,  but we don’t recognize what the problem is.

When We Seek Outside Help, We Are Asking For One Thing and One Thing Only – Validation.

We want to know that we are worthy, relevant, heard, and that the choices we are making for our life are the right ones. If we dig a little deeper we will discover that what we are really looking for is a sense of resolve within ourselves. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your mother saying, “okay sweetie give it one more try”. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your pastor saying, “it’s okay, repent, and go on about your life”. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your child looking into your eyes and offering you a smile that says, “Mom I love you, no matter what road you decide to take”.

The way to stop internal bullying is to make the decision to trust your instincts, follow your own path, and trust that in following your heart, the rest will work itself out. You can also find peace within yourself about your decisions. You don’t have to be bullied off your path. You want more? You go for it, and don’t give up until you see it into fruition.

Your Path Is To Trust Your Intuition & To Follow Your Heart.

It’s gonna wear different clothes sometimes, and lead you to different places, but the ultimate feeling that chasing your dreams is trying to get you to embody is the feeling that you belong here and that you deserve joy and fulfillment. There are endless paths to the feeling of joy, so choice one that feels right to you, and see where it takes you.

Thank you for reading!

heart Nay

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30 Days Of Living From The Heart

My Minds Made Up

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to decide what they really want. I am not talking about the “appropriate” ideas that we put out into the world or the front that we create to be socially acceptable. I am talking about the things that our heart truly desires. I am a 31 year old female holding onto what seems like a pipe dream. I aspire to be a well-known and successful author. Without support, trust worthy friends, and help, that dream is nearly impossible to realize.

I realize that it is time for me to take full responsibility for where I would like my life to go. It is now or never. I have found some peace in writing. For once in my life, through writing, I am able to be in control. When I write I don’t have people telling me what to do, how to perform, or how to behave. When I write, I am just free to be me. The villain, the lover, the pacifist, the mother, the friend, or any other character that my imagination can dream up.

Living From The Heart Challenge

For 30 days I will be participating in a |||Living From The Heart Challenge|||. I have never given myself full permission to just indulge creatively without feeling guilty about not working or without feeling like I am neglecting my responsibilities. I have heard a great deal about the law of attraction and have even encountered some beautiful moments that I believe are directly related to me lining energy up. There were many negative things that I started to hear about the law of attraction, so I decided to stop being an active participant in “creating” my own destiny.

Somewhere along that line things went terribly wrong. I am the kind of person that has a very strict sense of responsibility and morality, but I have come to realize that denying that very part of my being is causing me more hell than I have ever been through in life. There are times when I can’t even breathe without questioning if I am doing it right. When you get to that point… you have to admit something has gone wrong.

So for the next 30 days, I am giving myself permission to live from my heart. To do the things that I am inspired to do, without any input what so ever from my inner critic, and trust me my inner critic deserves some kind of award for its performance. For 30 days I am going to stay in a positive frame of mind, write about the things I really want to see happen for my life, paint, dance, cry, or whatever else comes to mind. I will  be posting poems, art, and parts of my diary online during this 30 day period.

My Intention For Sharing This

My intention for sharing this challenge with you is to give you the raw and unfiltered truth about what I experience during the 30 day period. This is not something that others have to follow. I just want to try this out for myself. There is something within my heart that tells me that my dreams are not worthless and that with pure intention my life can change. At the end of everyday I will post the most significant moments of my day. Like I said it could be poetry, a photo of what I’ve painted, entries from my journal, or news about any progress that I have made during the day. I am not sure where this will lead me to, but at the very least I hope I gain a new perspective on life that allows me to open and allow the things that are available for me instead of resisting all of the time. Wish me luck!

finished-heart Renee

Comments? Questions? Suggestions?

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