Tools For Rebuilding Yourself

Rebuilding

Yesterday we talked about the inner work of rebuilding yourself.

For those of you that missed that post, you can read it here.

Today, I am going to offer you some tools that may help with the process.

These tools have helped me personally, and it is my privilege to be able to share them with you. Although the tools may seem like simple suggestions, believe me, they work wonders. It’s only when we stop looking for solutions outside of ourselves and tap into the infinite resources within, that things start to shift in our lives.

I hope these tools help you on your journey!

1. Journaling

  • Journaling is a therapeutic tool.
  • You can savor the fact that your journal will not talk back, interrupt, or judge what you say.
  • Journaling also helps you process the events that have happened and your feelings towards them.
  • Writing down what you feel stops you from harboring those feelings inside.
  • Sometimes we just need the space to tell things how we have “seen” them or “experienced” them, and journaling allows you to do that.

2. Pay Attention To Your Negative Self Talk

    • We all do it. We speak down to ourselves, we call ourselves stupid, or beat up on ourselves. This scare tactic does not do you any good.
    • You would never talk to a close friend or those you love the way that you talk to yourself sometimes. So give yourself that same respect.


  • When negative self talk starts, ask yourself, “is this really coming from me?” Nine times out of ten that negative voice is not your own voice. Ask yourself who is it that is speaking for you? You may hear the answer, “this is fear speaking”, “this is anger speaking”, or “this is insecurity speaking”. Either way, recognizing it is a huge step.
  • Once you recognize how you are speaking to yourself, and that most of the time it’s coming from some place other than your true self, you can then start to speak to yourself in a way that is more productive, insightful, and uplifting.

3. Pay Attention To Your Nighttime Dreams

  • For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that I am a huge fan of tapping into the wisdom of your dreams. As a matter of fact, I have a whole website dedicated to helping others discover the meaning of their dreams.
  • Don’t take these theatrical stories that your mind dreams up for granted. They show you all that is going on inside you. How you feel, what you desire, and the vast potential of your creativity all shows up in your nighttime dreams.
  • Even if you don’t want to dig as deep as decoding your dreams, you can keep a dream journal, just to read and see how vivid your inner world really is. Keeping a dream journal is simple. If you don’t have one, or you don’t know how to start one, you can take a look at the steps I have outlined for you here.

4. Allow Your Emotions

  • This one may be difficult for some of you, but it’s worth it.
  • We discussed in the previous article that society expects you to have it all together, keep it all together, and show no signs of the contrary. Well that is ridiculous. We are all human, and we have feelings and emotions so that we can cleanse ourselves. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to vent, allow yourself a moment of anger, but please don’t stay there.
  • Feel your emotions, examine them, see when they are triggered, and just be with them for a few moments. It’s okay to not have it all together. We are human – not Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Your going to feel moments of disappointment, sadness, anger, and resentment. Feel those emotions. The only thing that hurts is when you deny the opportunity for you to feel and release them.

Because pain is just emotion trapped in the body.

  • Allowing these emotions gives you the permission to set them free.

5. Be Patient With Yourself

  • It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to make a mistake. It’s okay to not know what you are doing. It’s called “being human”.
  • Take your time with these steps.
  • If you feel you have messed up somewhere, recognize that every moment is brand new. You can start again. Just allow it.
  • It’s okay to have bad days. A bad day and bad feelings are just a sign for you to show a bit more compassion towards your situation. Bad days are an opportunity for you to show yourself a little more patience.
  • You don’t have to get it all right – right from the jump.

6. Trust Your Intuition

  • Every post that I write is me trusting my intuition.
  • I pay attention to my dreams, I pay attention to my inner promptings, and even sometimes when I doubt myself, I erase those thoughts, and trust myself anyway.
  • No one knows you better than the “inner you”.

I was also going to say – allow your missteps, but that goes right along with being patient with yourself. Sometimes we just don’t get it right, and to even soften that a bit, sometimes there is just a better path for us, and it just takes some readjusting (attitude wise), to get back on track.

Rebuilding yourself is a process, but we have a choice everyday. We can go through life miserable, stuck, and afraid, or we can try (taking one step at a time) to rebuild ourself.

Thank you for reading!

If you have some tools for rebuilding yourself, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

Also, if you like this post, don’t forget to hit like, share, and subscribe.

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit

Inner Work – Rebuilding Yourself

rebuilding

Some of us have foundations that we can no longer live with.

The damage is so bad in some areas that we can no longer call someone else to patch the problem up for us.

There may be skilled workers who have even told you that you need to rebuild, but instead you have put tape over areas that need to be completely excavated.

There may have been earth angels in the form of humans who have told you that the land is nice, but the structure that your house was built upon is old, unstable, and in need of repair.

Sometimes (bless our hearts), we can’t hear it.

It takes alot for some of us to realize that although our parents meant well, they may have steered us off course. It takes alot for us to realize that our teachers were just doing their job, but not teaching their hearts. It takes alot for us to realize that although our family and friends mean well, their opinions of our life stem from a place of fear and not of love.

The point that I am trying to make here, is that we don’t realize the power that others have over our life. Everything that we were taught, all the stories we were told, and all the opinions that were offered to us, shaped who we have become. It built our character. Every “no”, every “you can’t”, and every “are you crazy” got engrained into our system.

It shows up in the way that we approach our intimacy, in the way that we create our art, in the way we withhold ourselves from those we say we love. It shows up in the sneakiest ways. The desires that got buried within us during our childhood lurk underneath the surface, threatening to swallow us whole if we dare take peek to see what might be there.

What’s worse is that the call of our spirit is pulling us in the right direction and because we have that tension inside we think there’s something wrong with us.

We shun our desires, our hopes, and dreams because they don’t fit with what we were taught. We give up on our passions because it’s not what “our father” wanted us to be. We stuff our emotions because society expects you to have it all together, keep it all together, and not show any sign of the contrary.

What a miserable way to live!

It’s time to rebuild yourself, and only you can do it.

I’ve known for a long time that it was time to gut my whole foundation. It consisted of too many heartbreaks, too many disappointments, and too many rejections. It spoke nothing of the true me. Why hang on to something that does not make you feel your absolute best? Why hang on to something that kills you inside a little more – every time you think about it? Out of loyalty? Out of respect? Out of cherishing a memory?

We are all taught to never forget, but too often we link that with “hold on to this and don’t let it go”, even though it may be time to let it go.

The rebuilding process takes alot of work.

It does. Trust me.

I liken the process to building a house. There’s alot of workers involved. Each skilled in their particular area. You want the process to go as smoothly as possible, but there are some bumps along the way. You have to learn to trust the process; which is not easy for some of us.

It’s an annoyance not to be able to see the fruition of your work right away.

It’s a headache when things don’t go according exactly to plan, but the goal is to keep your eyes on the prize.

The journey of rebuilding yourself is tough sometimes. You go through your closets and you want to keep your old stuff, but it’s time sweetheart – it’s time.


You feel anger when you have spent more time and energy than you wanted to spend, but keep your eyes on the prize.

What is the prize?

The prize is a brand new you.

The prize is you being able to not only understand what love is, but to also allow and give it.

The prize is you offering yourself respect, the benefit of the doubt, and space for your real dreams to grow.

The prize is you looking in the mirror and not turning away from who you see.

The prize is you not second guessing your intuition and your strength.

You are capable of giving yourself all of the things that you never received when you were young. You are capable of nurturing yourself enough to let your dreams grow.

Too often we give that power over to someone else.

We look around for the person who hurt us sometimes when they are dead and gone.

We expect the person who broke our heart to come back and apologize when they have moved on with their life.

We expect those who have done us wrong to show up and right that wrong, when in reality, they aren’t even thinking about what they did to you because some don’t see it in the way that you do.

If we only realized we have the power to rebuild ourselves.

Your not looking for their apology. You are looking for permission. Permission to move on, permission to listen to yourself, permission to allow yourself the space to grow.

No one else can start this process for you. And if you have already started it, no one else can finish it for you. You have to see it through. The rewards are plenty.

You’ll be a new person. A person that accepts compliments, that’s open and receptive, someone that’s eager to give, slow to anger, and a shining light for all to see.

The process is somewhat painful, confusing, and downright earth shattering at times to excavate years of damage, but once it’s done you can once and for all, be comfortable with the person that you’ve become. Then that will translate in your work, in your art, in your heart, in your relationships, and in all the rest of your life.

The prize is worth the journey.

Happy Rebuilding!

P.S. This is another post inspired by the dream I had last night. The information that is coming through from decoding my dreams is alot to try and put into words, but I am up for the challenge. If you are interested in exploring the meaning of your dreams, head on over to my Soul Guidance Dreams blog and check it out.

If you like this post, don’t forget to hit like, comment, share, and subscribe.

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit