Removing Negativity – As Easy As Breathing?

breathing

I know that it’s difficult sometimes to remove negative thoughts and realign with your true nature.

Sometimes things just drive us crazy, and it is difficult in those moments to calm things down and form a different perspective.

Sometimes you just have to allow yourself however, the break or pause that you need to get things back on track.

Here is a resource that will help you realign with the present moment.

It’s a meditation that helps you breathe in positivity and breathe out negativity. It’s short, sweet, and to the point. Ray (my spirit guides) and I, had fun creating this meditation, and I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for viewing!

heart Nay

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Why I Do What I Do & The Challenges That Come With It

ProtectYourDreams

IT’S NOT EASY FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.

Well that is true from my perspective anyway.

For those of you out there that follow your dreams with ease – kudos to you!

I had a dream last night that I had a discussion about with my significant other. As we talked about the dream imagery, some really deep stuff surfaced.

In addition to writing, I love to create. I love the idea of creating a positive environment that stimulates new thoughts and that inspires people to follow their dreams not matter what. What I couldn’t figure out however, was even though I am following my heart, what in the world is holding me back?

I was trying to figure out – why – when I am putting my heart on the line trying to create something positive – is something trying to squeeze the life out of me and cause me to give up?

BY DECODING MY DREAM FROM LAST NIGHT, I FOUND SOME OF THE ANSWERS.

You see, when you don’t have any positive role models around to look up to – following your dreams is very difficult. When your background says that you shouldn’t be anything but someone’s assistant – it’s no wonder that when you try to be something more than that – the grip of fear holds you back.

I am sensitive and caring by nature. So when I think of creating my art, making a living, and building a positive business from scratch, I don’t just have myself in mind – I have a broader view.

I have seen the diseases of poverty, helplessness, resentment, alcoholism, and hardened hearts claim the lives of many of my family members (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically). I have seen the female energy killed in my family by unruly, disrespectful, insensitive men. I have watched people in my family let go of their dreams to follow a righteous – socially acceptable path, and for me I have a hard time swallowing some of it.

It’s difficult to sit back and watch the people who you care about the most, suffer in their lives. It’s even more difficult when you feel that you can’t do anything about it. Because of all of that, I feel that that only thing I can do is try to prosper in my own life.

It’s no wonder though that when I try to step outside of that vicious cycle of poverty, abuse, and insensitivity – that the roots of my background snake around me and question, “where do you think you are going, who do you think you are, do you feel you are someone special or something?”

THE ANSWER IS YES.

I do think that I am meant to live a better life. I do think that I am meant to shine. I do think that despite the way some of my family members have continued to deaden their dreams, that I am meant to rise above it, but it’s not easy to do.

There are some strong females in my family. They will walk the earth strapped with their children on their backs, they will walk the line of fire to defend the ones they love, they will get down on their hands and knees to do manual labor to put a roof over our heads. Yes, they are physically strong – I give them that.

But ask them what they love to do? Ask them what has hurt them the most? Ask them where they envisioned their life going? Ask them to tell you what they are proud of? Ask them what sets their heart on fire? You’ll hear nothing but silence.

Ask them to hug you or to tell you they love you. Ask them to care for their children even after they turn 18 years old. Ask them to support you emotionally, show faith in your wildest dreams, and you will get nothing in return from them.

THE TRUTH IS – THEY DOn’t Know How TO feel and show their vulnerability.

They know how to provide. They know how to tough it out. They know how to just barely make it, but they don’t know how to show they care and that it’s okay not to be able to do it all. The women in my family are so use to being the men and fighting to survive that they don’t know what femininity means to them anymore. They don’t know what it means to let their guard down.

And then here I come – Ms. Do Good, trying to teach myself a different way, trying to show myself that it is okay to love and express, trying to prove to others that there is another way, trying to realize my dreams, trying to teach my son that he can make it no matter what, and all this time I feel like I am living a lie, because even though my heart says it’s doable – my past says it can’t be done. The negative spells (being beat down mentally) that were put on me while I was younger say, “you are out of your league – try something different”.

How is anyone supposed to work through the pull of that negativity? Especially, when no one close to her was able to do it? Where do I turn to? Who do I look up to?

Maybe some of you out there are going through the same struggle.

I HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN SOMETHING BIGGER THAN ME.

I have to have faith that my dreams are meant to be. I have to have faith that there is a part of me that is more powerful than I can imagine. I have to believe that there are angels and guides that have filled the place of those family members that were not and are not around to support me. I have to believe that the call of my heart is more important than my thoughts of doubt.

That’s the only way to make it through.

I have to believe that I have a purpose here, and despite the tug of war going on inside, it will be brought to fruition.

I appreciate anyone who stops by to read what I write. I appreciate any comment, any like, and every follow. I realize that you can be anywhere, but you have given me your time and attention, and you don’t understand how by doing that – you are helping me believe in myself. It means the world to me to have someone take the time to write a comment. It gives me hope that I should stay in this, and continue towards building my dream.

Thanks for reading!

heart Nay

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The Unknown, Anxiety Attacks, & Putting It All Into Perspective

Inner Peace

I had a dream last night that inspired this post.

For a while I have been interested in the feelings that we have and where they arise from.

For the past couple of weeks I have been experiencing panic attacks. They seemed to come out of the blue, and I couldn’t understand why I started to get them. The only other time I ever had such a thing happen was a couple of years ago when I thought I was pregnant, and wasn’t adequately prepared (financially) to have a child.

Other than that – I have never had panic attacks before.

So they started coming out of nowhere, and I decided to try and figure out what the hell was going on inside of me to cause me to have 25 minute panic attacks.

While decoding someone’s dream yesterday, I defined what evil and darkness really is. I called evil and darkness – a loss of light, fear of uncertainty, fear of the unknown, loss of control, and thoughts and circumstances that cause you to lose touch with your “God-Self” or your “Light-Self”.

Decoding that dream helped me realize what my panic attacks were in relation to. For the past couple of years I have been going through some major transformations. My foundation is shifting, my thoughts and beliefs are too, and everything that I was taught to be true about life is now being called in for questioning.

When you are trying to better yourself and break old habits, the “familiar” in you doesn’t want to go so easily. The “familiar” in me is the part that holds on for dear life because to get rid of the “familiar things” would (in my mind) somehow mean the death of me. Which isn’t the slightest bit true.

The situations that I am going through right now have opened up the floodgates of fear. I am learning all of this new material that doesn’t quite fit with the way that I’ve been taught. But somehow, I know that it’s necessary for me to move on from my old ways of thinking. They are no longer serving me, nor helping me move towards the life I am trying to grow into.

With great change comes more responsibility. Being responsible for my own life is one of the hardest things that I am learning how to cope with. You mean to tell me that I am responsible for creating my own reality? You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that I can no longer blame things on my upbringing. Shoot me now. You mean to tell me that I can no longer blame God for the awful things that have happened in my life? It’s all up to me? I don’t think so. 

How can anyone deal with all of that information coming at them faster than a freight train?

No wonder I’m having panic attacks. I am being asked to cultivate things within me that I never even knew existed – like in real life.

Allow the universe to show you its magic? What the hell does that mean?

You don’t have to work so hard; it can be easy? Are you kidding me? I’ve worked hard all my life, and for very little at times.

All you need is inside of you? You mean my happiness doesn’t have anything to do with my job, my husband, or the things that I receive? I’ve searched for this shit everywhere, and it’s been here all that time?

The truth is, I’ve learned that all the answers are really inside.

{Renee Brooks}

How you feel about your life is very telling. Not only does it tell you what you are currently putting out into the universe, it also gives you a clear picture of your future.

So how do you get a hold on those “out of control” feelings – those feelings that seem to manifest out of nowhere – no matter how hard you try to get rid of them?

Well, I’ve learned a few things through decoding my dreams, writing my new book, and by studying some great philosophers.

The first thing that you have to realize is that you have everything you are seeking, inside of you. You have compassion inside, you have forgiveness inside, and you have understanding inside.

You just haven’t exercised that power.

Last night in the middle of my panic attack I was feeling so helpless. I did something that my inner being encouraged me to do.

I turned inside. 

I balled up my fist, put my hand of my heart, closed my eyes, and repeated,

If I don’t have anything else, I have myself.

{Renee Brooks}

 It took only a few minutes to soothe my anxious heart. My breathing slowed down, my heart-rate returned to normal, and I could feel knots of tension release from my body. I knew in those moments that I could go to that place within – at any time. I had experienced a new place inside of myself. A place of truth – my inner sanctum.

That is what my soul was calling from me. It was calling me to recognize my ability to turn my thoughts of panic and fear into knowing and reassurance. It was calling me to realize that I could find my way “home” quicker and that I didn’t have to feel helpless when any sign of panic showed up. It was calling me to realize that I didn’t have to wander around in the darkness afraid.

Once you learn to define what you are experiencing, you take the eeriness out of it.  

So here it goes – My panic attacks are happening because I am going through a period of darkness. By darkness, I don’t mean that there are creatures out to get me, that I’m possessed, or that I am doomed.

All darkness is, is the navigation through one’s life – without the proper light.

{Renee Brooks} 

My optimism, faith, and trust is not there because I am in a stage of the unknown. I’ve never navigated through a sea this strong before, and I’m afraid.

I’ve never stepped up and declared what I wanted out of life – without anyone’s input.

I’ve never dropped all things before to follow my dreams. 

I’ve never been without a job and called from myself the strength to move forward alone as my own boss. 

I’ve never told the truth inside about not feeling right about some of the things I was taught. 

Yet now, I am in the middle of all of this transformation – seemingly alone.

I am learning to find my way “home” in the midst of darkness. I am learning how to navigate through uncertain periods. You don’t have to know which way the wind is going to blow. You just have to know how to navigate the ship.

This realization does not mean that I will never experience anymore panic attacks. It just means that when you look inside, you have a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you, and it makes more of a difference than you may think. Looking inside helped me steady myself in the middle of a terrible panic attack. It helped me realize that the place inside I experienced is always there. It helped me realize that I don’t need anyone or anything outside of myself to feel whole. All you have is right inside. Sometimes the circumstances have to get unstable enough for you to actually seek & find.

Thank you for reading!

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finished-heart Nay

What’s Your Perspective On Dreams?

Dreams

Writing is one of the most frightening things that I have ever done. Especially trying to share it with the world. There are so many social barriers and standards that we have to uphold that one wrong move can spell disaster (in my mind). Writing is very special to me. It allows me to be able to release some of the things that I feel, visit places I never got to visit as a child, and express some of my deepest desires and fears. I am giving myself permission today to share my dream that I had this afternoon with you. This will allow me to open up more and allow more people into my personal feelings. If I can open up and share more freely, I will begin to see my real life dreams flourish more freely.

I ask one thing… please share with me your feelings on the dream. What is your perspective on some of the symbols? What do you feel the dream means? What is your viewpoint on the content? As we open to other’s perspectives I think we increase or sense of who we are in this vast world that we live in. If you want, you can even share a dream with me and I will share my perspective with you.

The Dream

My sister and I are sitting in my childhood home. She is showing me a picture of an ultrasound. Her friend is having twins. My sister tells me that the babies in the ultrasound picture look happy. I on the other hand have a completely different opinion. I see a glimpse of an unfinished nursery with some skimpy furniture and the room is half done. It doesn’t look prepared at all. I change back to the scene and look at the ultrasound again. One baby looks like he is bracing himself for the reality that he is about to be born into. The other twin looks like he is screaming and expressing his frustration with the whole process in general. I point out that the babies are not happy and she needs to look at the ultrasound again. I see a glimpse of my sister’s pregnant friend inside of the finished nursery. She looks happy and healthy and ready. The only thing is that even though she is fully prepared she is still feeling somewhat anxious. The scene switches back to my sister and me and my sister has paid money for a Facebook app on her phone that she could have gotten for free. She wouldn’t have even noticed it if our apps didn’t look so different.  I laugh at her and ask her why in the world would she pay for an app that she could have gotten for free. She tells me that she can’t get rid of it because it belongs to my grandmother.