So You’re A F*ck Up – Now What?

disappointment

So you screwed up again right?

You failed?

Your business isn’t doing so good, you lost your job, you blurted out the disgusting truth in a moment of drunken rage, you poured your heart and soul into a project and no one responded – no one liked it – no one shared.

So you’re a f*ck up right?

You must have some black cloud hanging over your head and must be destined for failure, because it feels as if the universe is playing a game of “lets see how bad this can get” with you.

If you answered yes or even hinted yes to any of the things that I said above – we need to talk.

What is it that causes you to be so hard on yourself and think that way? Is there no room for error or a misstep in your life?

Is it societal pressure?

Your inner critic?

I know what it is…

You’ve set the bar high for yourself and maybe you’ve fallen short of the finish line. 

You may have people depending on you and when things aren’t looking up, all the pressure falls on your shoulders. 

Your bills are piling up, and what you do – in terms of a creative business or your artistry – is NOT paying the bills. 

So your a screw up right, because things took a different turn and didn’t turn out the way that you had hoped for?

Okay, now that we got that out, sit with me for a moment and just breathe.

Take a moment to think about what you really want for your life.

Not what your kids want, not what your spouse wants, or your parents – what do you want? What do you enjoy?

Could you spend a little less time doing things you feel you are obligated to do, and spend a little more time doing the things that excite you and that you are passionate about.

If you are unhappy or feel like you are a failure, it’s only because you are doing things to please other people while neglecting yourself.

Consider this a wake up call. 

Consider this an opportunity to view the situation a little differently.

Where in your life are you not giving yourself permission to just be yourself, to pursue your passion, to follow the way that you feel in your heart you should go? What beliefs about your current path might you need to change in order to accommodate newer, richer, fuller opportunities and situations?

I know one thing for sure – you are not a screw up. Oh, but that inner critic would have you believe so.

The truth is, what you are really being called to do – is to create the life you really want for yourself – no exceptions.

The tensions, the conflicts, and blockages are all there because you are being called to examine how you feel about yourself,  how you treat yourself, and what you believe to be true for your life.

You are being called to give yourself permission to live, to create, to say no, to forgive, to let go, and to honor your true soul.

What you are going through right now is just the testing grounds for you to make way for what you really desire in your life, and the most important thing that you need to know right now is – be kind to yourself.

Trust yourself a little more.

Allow your missteps.

It’s all a part of the process.

You are redefining, testing, feeling things out, building your foundation for a stronger relationship with your core. Don’t be so hard on yourself for things not working out in the way you had planned. Life will throw you another piece, and another piece, and another piece.

Readjust your thinking and feel your way through this process with love, compassion, and new thoughts.

I’m rooting for you because I’ve been through it too, and it doesn’t just go away. You have to cultivate a new way of seeing yourself and believing in yourself so that you can start to attract new experiences.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide

Photo Credit

Your Heart’s True Desire vs. What You Think You Desire

flower

I consider myself a loyal person.

That’s why when my sister called to tell me she was going into labor, I was in the car quicker than she could finish her sentence.

When I went into labor, I expected the same treatment.

I expected her to drop everything just like I did. I expected her bags to be packed (just like mine), and for her to be willing to stay the night, if that’s what I needed from her, but she didn’t.

She instead decided that showing up for work was more important. I, of course, was hurt. I felt like I didn’t matter enough to her for her to drop what she was doing to see me through that time in my life, but my perception was wrong. 

I didn’t notice that my perception was off until I was sitting in my hospital room and I noticed how peaceful it was.

My hubby was breathing and preparing himself for the arrival of our son and the nurses were quietly walking in and out to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and mine. As I sat there in peace, I noticed the perfection of the moment.

I noticed that what I thought I wanted and what I really wanted, were two very different things. 

I really wanted my son’s birth to be between me, my significant other, and the earth angels (the doctors and nurses), that were called to bring him into the world.

I realized that I didn’t want or need anyone else to be there, but the one who had seen me at my most vulnerable and that knew how important the birth of my son was to me.

I also realized how important it was for my significant other to have his privacy as well. You see, he had lost a child from a previous relationship, and this was a very momentous and somewhat frightening occasion for him as well.

The universe had lined up circumstances and events that led me and my significant other to what we really wanted and not to what we thought we wanted. God saw the bigger picture. God knew that I wouldn’t want my sister’s job to be in jeopardy and also knew that I didn’t want anyone in the room that would be worried or resentful for being there.

The birth of my son was perfect.

The people that were supposed to be there – were there, and it turned out better than I could have imagined. I just needed to let go of the idea that something was going wrong, and open to the fact that things were really working in my favor.

So if you are going through something right now that doesn’t seem to be working out the way that you had planned, just realize that you are on your way to something better. You are in good hands and you are being guided to your heart’s real desire and not just to what you think you desire.

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide

Photo Credit

Self Love – Changing The Way You See Yourself

Perception

I REMEMBER SEARCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS FOR PREGNANCY VLOGS WHEN I WAS PREGNANT LAST YEAR.

I came across the vlog of a beautiful girl. I loved tuning in to her vlog because she would give you a week by week summary of everything that was going on with her body, love life, and social life as she progressed with her pregnancy.

There was one video that she posted, and half way through she started crying. She mentioned that she didn’t feel attractive, she felt ugly, and didn’t feel like herself. I paused the video and started yelling at the video (as if she were there in person). Are you crazy? I yelled at the screen. You are beautiful, certainly attractive, and you have a glow that no one could take – even if they tried, I continued

Now I fully understand that her hormones were raging, someone probably said something to upset her, and she probably just needed to take a quick nap.

The point that I am trying to make is that her impression of herself in that moment, was not what I (a spectator on the other end of the screen) was seeing.

THERE ARE SO MANY FACTORS THAT GO INTO HOW WE VIEW AND PERCEIVE OURSELF.

9 times out of 10 – how you are viewing yourself – is not the way someone else is. Your attitude is a factor, how your day went is a factor, your perceived flaws plays a factor, the damn lighting in the room plays a factor. I am not just referring to physical beauty either. I am referring to your personality as well. One friend might see you as an egotistical maniac when those same qualities to another friend may translate as a strong, confident, go-getter.

This topic is about self love, but we cannot deny that we are largely effected by outside influences. We work on self-love by getting an accurate picture of what we are paying attention to. Once you understand that people’s opinion of you has more to do with their upbringing, their preferences, and their appetite, you can then get on with changing your opinion about yourself to fit your true nature and not the scanty version of yourself that people want you to believe you are.

I HAVE AN EXERCISE FOR YOU.

I want you to take several different pictures of yourself. Take a photo with your camera phone, change rooms and take another photo with that same camera phone. Next take a photo of yourself with your computer camera, try a friend’s or a family member’s phone next. Take several pictures and adjust the light to different settings in each room. Once you are done, bring all the pictures together in one place (ex. email them to yourself). Pull them up on the computer screen and then look at them.

Imagine each camera lens is a different person viewing you. You will have some pics where the lighting is just right. You will have some pics where you didn’t pose as much as you would have liked. You will have some pics that make you want to hit the delete button immediately, but you will get the point.

WE NEED TO START SEEING OURSELF DIFFERENTLY.

That means cultivating new ways to bring out our true beauty, letting other people’s opinions of us slide by without a second thought, and really seeing ourselves in a new light. You are beautiful. Some of you may not feel you are beautiful in the traditional sense, but your beauty has more to do with how you feel about yourself than any scale in a magazine. Your beauty is more than your eye color, the size of your waist line, or the number on the scale.

You are a living, breathing, thinking, reasoning, functioning – on many different levels, human being. If that isn’t beautiful – I don’t know what is. Think of your ability to get up each day, to move through life, to keep your spirits up despite all the drama that can show up in your life. All of that is beauty.

THE PURPOSE OF MY POST IS TO LET YOU KNOW – I AM HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU.

I too have had very bad days. I have cursed myself out, called myself ugly, and perpetuated internal racism that no one should put themselves through. I have been through my deepest critical moments, and I have had to learn (slowly but surely) how to see myself differently.

I am not claiming to be a guru that is perfect and that can change your whole life. That’s not me. I am not Iyanla Vanzant and this is not Iyanla Fix My Life. I don’t want to be that. What I can offer though, is my insight. That’s it. I can tell you that I have been through alot, and the purpose of me sharing my thoughts with you guys is so that you can see that we are all human.

Self Love is about taking small steps towards filling yourself up on the inside so that it radiates on the outside. It’s about giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, noticing your beauty, noticing your relevance here, and owning who you are (without apologies).

I SHARE THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT NEEDS TO HEAR THIS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

If you are here reading this, take this as a sign, from your higher self. You are being called to explore your total beauty. Not just what you have been taught “beautiful” is.

Thanks for reading.

heart Nay

P.S. Don’t forget to enter to win the Steep Your Soul Spa Gift Basket.

Photo Source Credit