A Brand New Role – MOTHER

I’m A Mom!

I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since my last post. Wow, how time flies! Alot has transpired in that amount of time, and I am blown away at how quickly life can change. I stand here in disbelief as I look at my son and remember the article that I wrote not too long ago about being unwed, having no children, and being unemployed. In what seems like the blink of an eye – the “no children” part of my life was replaced with great joy!

On August 13th, 2014 I gave birth to my first born, NOAH. In addition to the other titles I hold in life (writer, blogger, self-published author), I can also add Mother to the list! I have always wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I can finally say that, that dream has come true. I never thought that I would have children later in life. According to my plan, I was going to graduate high school, go to college, get a good paying job, get married, buy a home, and have two kids by at least the age of 25. Ummmm yea, it’s funny how things don’t turn out the way that we see them in our heads.

I did graduate high school, but that “college, nice house, married and 2 kids by 25 dream” did not happen. I am 31 years old and I just had my son. It’s funny how life turns out so differently than the way that you plan it. I have no complaints right now though. I am sooooo happy that I did not have children early. It takes ALOT to raise a child. I am not just talking about financially, I am talking about mentally, emotionally, and physically. I don’t think that I could have handled having two kids at age 25. I had to be ready, and I am so glad that God had a different plan for me.

I Don’t Want To Just Be A Mom – I Want To Be A Great Mom

I now have the son that I have always wanted, and with that comes wanting the best for him. He is 2 months old, and he looks up at me with such eyes of wonder and excitement. His stare sometimes seems like he’s waiting to absorb my words or waiting for me to teach him something new about life. My response to his innocent wonder is a teary eyed look back in his direction because sometimes I feel there is no way that I can give him all that I feel he deserves.

I, myself, am trying to find out where I fit in, in this life. I have not the slightest idea how to teach him the ropes of life – so to speak. I haven’t mastered life, and honestly I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to satisfying that curious look in his eyes.

I do know however that I have plenty of love to give him. There will not be a day that goes by that he doesn’t receive a kiss good night and good morning from me. There won’t be a day that goes by that he cries for my attention, and I am not there. There won’t be a day that goes by that he doesn’t know how special he is to me, and how just his smile brightens up my whole day.

My Real New Role

My new role is not to just be a mother. My real new role is to be a listener, to be a protector, to share my failures with him and my successes, to be honest with him, to let him know that the road is not always easy, to let him know that it’s okay to be himself (always). My new role is to be his comforter in times of sorrow or pain. To be his cheerleader when he’s at his highest point and his shoulder to cry on when he’s at his lowest.

Honestly, I know that all mothers wish they could go ahead of their children and place little markers along the way that warns them what to stay away from, and that eases them towards what is most fulfilling. I wish I could! I wish I had a GPS that told me exactly where my son was going. I would prepare the way so that it was the most comfortable and so that he wouldn’t get his heart broken or experience too much pain along the way.

As a mother, I don’t ever want him to feel any pain, but I know that, that is not possible. He is going to go through things that I cringe at just the thought of, but I will be there to love him through whatever it is that he experiences.

The Hardest Job In The World

It’s funny how for that past few years I have called myself unemployed. Now I can say that I am a stay-at-home mom. There is no job on the face of this earth that is more difficult than being a mother. It’s not only that you tend to the house, do the cleaning, and make sure the ship runs smoothly. It’s that you do all of that and do not get a dime for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything and everything for my son, and I don’t need any money in return. I love providing (in whatever way I can for him). The point that I am trying to make however is that sometimes mothers are taken for granted. It’s not that we ask for anything in return it’s just that it’s nice to hear “thank you” sometimes. It’s nice to see that all the love and nurturing that we put into the household and raising the children is appreciated sometimes.

Imagine getting spit up on several times a day, changing dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, hearing your name called 50 times an hour, getting no sleep, being looked at to provide all the solutions to every problem, with no pay, no vacation, and no time off. It’s a difficult thing to do. It’s not easy at all, and although I am not at the stage where I hear my name called 50 times a day, I know plenty of mothers who are. But I am a mom who gets very little to no sleep and that’s expected to clean and cook and keep everything else together.

For me, it’s easier than some others because my significant other appreciates all that I do, and helps out tremendously, but there are some mothers out there who do not receive the thanks that they deserve. I want to say,

“You’re A Warrior and Thank You For All You Do!”

In Closing

I am excited to see where this new chapter in my life is headed. I appreciate the entire pregnancy experience. It was beautiful and I wouldn’t trade my son for anything in the world. I love the idea that he is an infinite ball of possibility, and that he can be, do, or have anything in this life that he desires. My job is to just be there to encourage the best out of him at all times. Sometimes, I don’t think I have what it takes to raise a child, but other times I breathe easy knowing that if I didn’t have what it took – Noah wouldn’t be here. So I must step boldly and confidently in the direction of all I desire and that itself will teach him all he needs to know in order to do the same.

Thank you so much for reading!

finished-heart Nay

Welcoming The New In 2014

Living From The Heart Days 16-30

It is interesting to me that we categorize periods of our life by seconds, minutes, hours, days, and months. There really is no time per se… It’s all right now. I guess it’s easier for us to manage things when we think of things in a smaller picture rather than the larger scheme of things. It makes things less overwhelming in our mind.

I think that what we are looking for the most when we categorize our life in fractions or moments in time is the essence of a “new start”. That’s why we always say, “tomorrow I am going to do this” or “next year it’s going to be different.”

But what if we looked at every moment as an essence or a feeling that we want to embody. The time “2014” is just an indication of you being ready to welcome the new. But why wait until 12am on January 1st to welcome that “New Feeling” or “Fresh Start”; you can do that right now. It’s all right now. Just give yourself permission to be what you want to be right in this moment.

The End Of 2013

I don’t have a a lot of words to describe 2013. 2013 is just a collection of my past thoughts and actions. What I am more interested in is welcoming the new. So I have collected quotes that I have arranged in a gallery to welcome the new year which is also welcoming the “new me”.

I will end this post with a few things that I wish for you for 2014. As you allow yourself to open and be more of who you are without apologies, I am sure all of your deepest longings will come true. Even if you are one of those people out there that has lost faith or hope in something, just know that there is someone out there that is wishing the best for you, even if you can’t find the space in your heart to believe it so.

My Wishes For You

My heart wishes blessings for you, joy and love for you, new opportunities for you, mended relationships for you, stronger bonds for you, open doors for you, peace of mind for you, new beginnings for you, abundance for you, easiness and stability for you, moments that take your breath away, and things that enter your life that are so amazing that they leave you in awe.

I hope your year is filled with all the things that your heart desires. I pray for your mind to be renewed and for you to see life through a loving perspective. I hope this world shows you things you have never seen before and I hope you are able to unveil beautiful pieces of yourself that you never thought imaginable.

Remember sometimes there could be things going on around you, but when you realize what you are made of you will have the strength to sit in the middle of it all and reveal your power. You aren’t meant to struggle your way through this life. You are meant to graciously accept the things that come your way while keeping your eyes and heart on what you would like to experience the most. If the negative can come your way, how many more positive things can come your way with just a small adjustment in the way you look at things.

Keep your head up, know things will get better, and take it one step at a time. You’ll do just fine.

finished-heart Nay

Happy Happy Happy New Year All!