Truth Be Told Tuesday: Year End Post

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I am so glad that 2014 is coming to a close.

I’m really looking forward to a new time…

The start of a new year is permission for people like me to move past the feelings of failure, disappointment, and sadness. To maybe – somehow – try to cultivate a different frame of mind to get to the answers and fulfillment that we really have been seeking. So I am so happy to say PEACE OUT to 2014.

I hope you all enjoyed my posts this year…

I have to be completely honest, most of the posts that were written this year were written from the perspective of someone with a broken-heart, crushed dreams, and resentment. They were written from the perspective of someone trying to hold the pieces of her broken-heart together while she squeezed out tidbits of her passion.

While the demons of fear, anger, and disappointment sat on her shoulder begging her to hang it up, she told them, “no, if I don’t have anything else, I have myself and my writing and you will not take away my voice.”

I have so much more to learn…

The truth is… I feel like I don’t know a damn thing.

As a writer, I feel like there is so much more to learn. As a mother, I feel like every time I get something right – my son changes. As a person, I feel like I am drowning in this pool that we all call life. I have alot of walls to break through, guards to let down, and paths to navigate through. I have learned a hell of alot, but learning isn’t the answer.

The real transformation comes when you can embrace new concepts, ways of being, beliefs, and new ideas, and I have not been able to do that too much in 2014. I have received insight that my childhood insecurities has beat up before it even got a chance to get through the doors. I have received messages that the ego crooks have stolen before I even got a chance to sift through and find the treasures within. I have launched more ideas and dreams than probably anyone you know, but the “straight and narrow” in me noticed that they didn’t line up with my upbringing – so out the door they went.

But 2014 was not all bad…

I got one of the greatest gifts of all in 2014. A gift that I didn’t think that I could have because it hadn’t shown up in my life for years. I gave birth to my first born – Noah. He has been my greatest gift and greatest accomplishment and his very presence helps me realize that dreams do come true – even if they do take some time.

As far as my writing goes…

I am in the process of writing my new book {Soul Guidance Finding Your Way Home}. There are moments in my life where all is well, and a stream of well-being just flows from me. It’s a place where there are no worries and no fears. Sometimes I think to myself – where the hell did that passage come from – because I didn’t feel anything close to that yesterday? But then I remember – we all have that place inside that no one can take from us.

My wishes for the new year…

I am looking to take my blog in a different direction. Although I have written some posts that have some good information and good stories, I would like to dive a little bit more into what people need. I feel like my calling is to be a soul writer, but I am going to focus more on content that can help others move past their difficulties, break free from restrictions, and release their pain. I keep getting the message that I am a healer and I want nothing more than to express my gifts in the most genuine, uplifting, and whole way possible. I don’t feel that I quite captured that this year.

My wish for the new year is that I come back to this platform – brand new. From a new perspective. Not a hurt, damaged, heart-broken individual trying to express herself, but from a new beingness. From the beingness of a healed, whole, gifted individual that has something to share with the world. I will not be back on this platform, until I find my way and am able to reveal my gifts to you in a way that can help heal, advance, and move us all in a positive direction.

For all the writers out there…

Don’t give up. Follow your dreams. I know sometimes it’s hard and things seem slim, but we will all find a way. For those who are making it big time and starting to really find the level of expression that they have always desired “kudos to you” and “keep it up”. I wish you all a very safe, happy, healthy new year. I will be back, but not before I can deliver my “whole self” to this platform. I don’t know how long that will take. Just keep me in your prayers and well-wishes.

I appreciate you all!

Thank you for reading!

Happy New Year!

finished-heart Nay

Truth Be Told Tuesday

Truth Be Told Tuesday

I have to come clean.

I don’t know what the hell to write about for Truth Be Told Tuesday.

As a matter of fact, I thought about renaming the whole “Tuesday” subject altogether. If I did that however, I would seem scattered, unorganized, and inconsistent.

I mean aren’t writers supposed to have their shit together? Aren’t they supposed to know exactly what to write and when to write it? Isn’t there something specific to write about for Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays?

If I can speak honestly (that is what Truth Be told Tuesday is all about), I haven’t been that inspired to post on WordPress. I don’t like to force writing, but I don’t want to leave my platform empty either.

So what to do?

I figured I would just sit down, and let whatever wanted to come out – come out.

I don’t feel like a writer today… The very reason that people go to writing blogs is to keep up with what other “writers” or “authors” are doing. I think of people coming to my blog and asking, “where’s the content, where are the stories, where’s the setting, where are the characters, where’s the adventure?”

To which I reply, “you aren’t getting any of that from me today. I am not a storyteller, an author, or a writer today. Not the “official” kind anyway.”

I am curled up with my hot chocolate and putting all of the writing rules to the side.

What I really desire more than anything is a real connection, with real people. Let’s be real – most of the people don’t really read what’s on the blogs anyway. They skim through the content to see if anything looks interesting or fits their current needs, and if the first few words don’t grab their attention they’re off to something else.

Between facebook, twitter, homework, housework, work-work, the kids, and all the other crap that people have to do, there seems to be no time for genuine connections. God forbid you ask someone to comment on your post or to share their stories – they are so wrapped up in other things while browsing through your post that they don’t even hear your pleas for authentic connection.

I must admit – I have been guilty of that from time to time. We call it multi-tasking, but what it really is – is robbing us of the present moment. So tonight, I am not in the mood for thinking, writing things down in a perfect format, to pour my heart into another post, that no one is even going to read (entirely). So I will just say a few words here and there, in the fashion that my current mood decides to script them.

I’m frustrated with putting myself out there, being vulnerable, and opening up – without a single response from people who I know are out there feeling the same way I am.

I want to know what people desire, I want to having meaningful conversations, I want hearts that I connect with. I guess what I am trying to ask is, what makes you feel alive? Is it really writing or is it something else? Am I the only one that feels – if I don’t feel genuinely inspired – I can’t write? Does anyone else feel that way?

I am not the kind of person that wants to just throw anything out into the universe. Even as I type this, I am still trying to be considerate with the words that I choose and how I say them. Even though my mood is… well we won’t go there.  Part of the reason I am writing this post is to vent. To let the world know that I feel so uninspired. Especially when it comes to posting on here. I am tired of giving my time and attention to things that fall on deaf ears.

I am in the process of writing my new book, and the inspiration for that comes and goes. It’s actually quite nice and not that much of a headache at all, but this wordpress thing… I don’t know what to make of it.

I guess it’s okay to say exactly what I feel – as long as I am telling the truth in the process. It is Truth Be Told Tuesday.

Thank you for reading!

Do you have anything that you would like to confess for Truth Be Told Tuesday? If so, go to the top of the post and click “leave a comment” to share your story. If you prefer to post your response on your own blog, just add the words “Truth Be Told Tuesday” somewhere in your post and link back to this article.

I look forward to hearing your response.

finished-heart Nay