Self Love – Changing The Way You See Yourself

Perception

I REMEMBER SEARCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS FOR PREGNANCY VLOGS WHEN I WAS PREGNANT LAST YEAR.

I came across the vlog of a beautiful girl. I loved tuning in to her vlog because she would give you a week by week summary of everything that was going on with her body, love life, and social life as she progressed with her pregnancy.

There was one video that she posted, and half way through she started crying. She mentioned that she didn’t feel attractive, she felt ugly, and didn’t feel like herself. I paused the video and started yelling at the video (as if she were there in person). Are you crazy? I yelled at the screen. You are beautiful, certainly attractive, and you have a glow that no one could take – even if they tried, I continued

Now I fully understand that her hormones were raging, someone probably said something to upset her, and she probably just needed to take a quick nap.

The point that I am trying to make is that her impression of herself in that moment, was not what I (a spectator on the other end of the screen) was seeing.

THERE ARE SO MANY FACTORS THAT GO INTO HOW WE VIEW AND PERCEIVE OURSELF.

9 times out of 10 – how you are viewing yourself – is not the way someone else is. Your attitude is a factor, how your day went is a factor, your perceived flaws plays a factor, the damn lighting in the room plays a factor. I am not just referring to physical beauty either. I am referring to your personality as well. One friend might see you as an egotistical maniac when those same qualities to another friend may translate as a strong, confident, go-getter.

This topic is about self love, but we cannot deny that we are largely effected by outside influences. We work on self-love by getting an accurate picture of what we are paying attention to. Once you understand that people’s opinion of you has more to do with their upbringing, their preferences, and their appetite, you can then get on with changing your opinion about yourself to fit your true nature and not the scanty version of yourself that people want you to believe you are.

I HAVE AN EXERCISE FOR YOU.

I want you to take several different pictures of yourself. Take a photo with your camera phone, change rooms and take another photo with that same camera phone. Next take a photo of yourself with your computer camera, try a friend’s or a family member’s phone next. Take several pictures and adjust the light to different settings in each room. Once you are done, bring all the pictures together in one place (ex. email them to yourself). Pull them up on the computer screen and then look at them.

Imagine each camera lens is a different person viewing you. You will have some pics where the lighting is just right. You will have some pics where you didn’t pose as much as you would have liked. You will have some pics that make you want to hit the delete button immediately, but you will get the point.

WE NEED TO START SEEING OURSELF DIFFERENTLY.

That means cultivating new ways to bring out our true beauty, letting other people’s opinions of us slide by without a second thought, and really seeing ourselves in a new light. You are beautiful. Some of you may not feel you are beautiful in the traditional sense, but your beauty has more to do with how you feel about yourself than any scale in a magazine. Your beauty is more than your eye color, the size of your waist line, or the number on the scale.

You are a living, breathing, thinking, reasoning, functioning – on many different levels, human being. If that isn’t beautiful – I don’t know what is. Think of your ability to get up each day, to move through life, to keep your spirits up despite all the drama that can show up in your life. All of that is beauty.

THE PURPOSE OF MY POST IS TO LET YOU KNOW – I AM HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU.

I too have had very bad days. I have cursed myself out, called myself ugly, and perpetuated internal racism that no one should put themselves through. I have been through my deepest critical moments, and I have had to learn (slowly but surely) how to see myself differently.

I am not claiming to be a guru that is perfect and that can change your whole life. That’s not me. I am not Iyanla Vanzant and this is not Iyanla Fix My Life. I don’t want to be that. What I can offer though, is my insight. That’s it. I can tell you that I have been through alot, and the purpose of me sharing my thoughts with you guys is so that you can see that we are all human.

Self Love is about taking small steps towards filling yourself up on the inside so that it radiates on the outside. It’s about giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, noticing your beauty, noticing your relevance here, and owning who you are (without apologies).

I SHARE THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT NEEDS TO HEAR THIS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

If you are here reading this, take this as a sign, from your higher self. You are being called to explore your total beauty. Not just what you have been taught “beautiful” is.

Thanks for reading.

heart Nay

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Photo Source Credit 

The Makeup Of Who We Are

Image Credit: Holistic Hippy

As writers, we are constantly creating characters and giving meaning to their lives.

Do you ever wonder who wrote you?

I mean think about it. If there was a writer who sat down and envisioned your life and your story who would it be?

Why did that writer give you some of the crazy characteristics you display in your day to day life? Why do some things hit close to home while other things barely grasp your attention?

Who created you – as you are?

Did someone dream you up – like we do to the characters in our novels?

I ask these questions because they are interesting (to me at least) to ponder. I mean come on; artists are wonderers at heart. It’s our curiosity towards the world around us that helps us create.

Why do somethings matter to us more than others?

Isn’t it fascinating how many factors make up a person. Elizabeth Gilbert (the author of the NY Times Bestseller “Eat Pray Love“) brilliantly summed up all of the influences that constitute a human being. When trying to get to the root cause of her depression she asked herself was it psychological, temporal, genetic, cultural, astrological, artistic, evolutionary, karmic, hormonal, dietary, philosophical, seasonal, environmental, I mean shoot me now.

I don’t want to dig that deep into it, but I would like to know why somethings deeply sadden me while others bring me unimaginable joy. Why I love the smell of vanilla and abhor the smell of lavender. Why I’m drawn to iron gates, attracted to some with lazy eyes, and love alien like characters like “Echo” from the movie “Earth To Echo“.

Why I like my turkey sandwiches – slice of bread, 3 pieces of turkey, white american cheese, pepper, Hellman’s mayo, and other slice of bread. In That Order! Oh and I can’t forget the drink – a coca cola (in a can please). The bottled version of coke tastes different. Don’t argue with me about that. It just does.

Why I love a new book – not to read it – but sometimes just to flip through the pages. I love the feel of the pages and running my hands over the cover image.

Why the sight of any lily warms my heart or why seeing a blue jay makes me jump for joy.

Why seeing a homeless guy crushes me, seeing a woman being beaten dampens my spirit, or seeing someone harm an animal sends me into a rage.

All of those things describe me (one individual – a spec in the grand scheme of things). A very small piece – it seems, in the story we call life. But yet, a relevant piece – because I do exist.

I believe our experiences, perspectives, preferences, and nuisances shape who we are as writers. Those things about us give us our passion and our drive. They are the reasons that some us shy back from releasing horror into the world and others like Stephen King thrive on it. I think that pondering who we are can further shape the way we write and the stories we create.

There are some things about yourself that you may want to throw away and other pieces that make you a compassionate human being. Sometimes we can’t make sense of our pieces when they are spread out or when we think of them as separate things, but when we actually look a little closer we may see a theme running through each of our strange yet fascinating preferences.

Take a look at the black and white gallery below of the things that I’m drawn to and that catch my eye. Perhaps creativity will spark somewhere for you, perhaps you will enjoy my unique preferences, perhaps it will remind you of a time in your life, or perhaps it will help you see how we are all connected. I do believe we are all here for a reason – bizarre traits and all!

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Thanks for reading!

finished-heart Nay