It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

loneliness

I use the dental office as a place to practice my skills of patience and ease.

You see, I hate the dentist (the uncomfortable chair, not being in control, the pain that comes with getting work done on my teeth) – absolutely hate it.

But I use that uncomfortable place as a testing ground for centering myself. It’s where I let myself know that it’s okay to be uncomfortable. It’s where I show myself that it’s okay to feel pain and uneasiness and that I don’t have to hide or run away from it.

You may be going through some pain right now too.

There may be some uneasiness, discomfort, a difficult situation, or insert unpleasant feeling “here” that you may be experiencing.

I am here to tell you that it’s okay to feel the way that you do.

You are going to have bad days sometimes, and that’s okay.

You are going to be unhappy sometimes and that’s okay.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings are not worthy of being explored, felt fully, and expressed.

Sometimes it seems like the world is so quick to try to make you put on a happy face or fake that everything is okay – as if there is no room for any imperfections or negative feelings at all, but the more you resist your pain, frustration, and anger – the more it shows up.

“What you resist, persists.” C.G. Jung

So what does the dental office have to do with all of this?

Well, it’s where I show myself that no matter what I am feeling – I can adjust home.

It’s where I practice trusting the moment, the skill of the doctor, and trusting my own ability to make it through whatever pain I may experience. I notice that when I loosen up and allow, it makes for a much smoother experience. Whenever you are facing an uncomfortable situation, see if you can start to view the situation as an opportunity to see how much you have grown or to practice adjusting home.

I realize that I have everything I need to make it through and so do you.

No matter what situation you are going through.

So experience it all – the pain, the frustration, the anger, and the disappointment with things not going your way. It’s okay to admit that you have these feelings and I’ll let you in on a secret – it’s okay to feel. It means that you’re human – not that you are unworthy or bad – but human.

So feel it fully and adjust home. Feel it fully and adjust home. Feel it fully and adjust home. Ride the discomfort, but have compassion for yourself and steady yourself in the midst of the storm.

Trust yourself.

Trust the process.

Trust your ability to make it through.

I’m not going to promise you that you will never have another bad day, but I will say that you will no longer have to be a slave to your pain or a prisoner to your discomfort. With practice, you will learn how to face it, embrace it, and find your center easier.

You will make it through.

Face your fears, embrace your pain, and set it free – are your ready for a BREAKTHROUGH?

Thanks for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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How Do I Get This Ocean Outside Of Me?

For the past couple of days, something has felt off inside of me.

I have been so emotional.

The tears that I have cried over the past couple of days have been tears of sadness, accompanied with thoughts like: Who am I? Why am I here? What was I really made for? And why is the current way I am expressing myself, causing me to feel tension inside?

Yesterday night, after I settled down from the tears, I received a vision.

I was in the ocean surfing some beautiful waves. My logical mind wanted to disrupt the vision because riding big waves is impossible for me. For one, I am terrified of being in the middle of the ocean and for two, I can’t swim.

I trusted the vision however, and sat with the energy for a few minutes after it was done. I felt great after the vision and thought, wow that was wonderful – now only if I could do that in real life.

I got up this morning with the intention of just taking it easy. I was going to just let the day flow and just take whatever came my way. I didn’t want to get too much in the mind or pay too much attention to anything today. I just kind of wanted it to be an easy day.

Throughout the day, as I was on some social media sites I felt very emotional again, but this time I wasn’t crying tears of sadness. They were tears of joy, and they seemed to come forward for the littlest things.

Several quotes made me cry this morning.

Several pictures that I looked at made me cry.

Just seeing people in their natural states of being made me cry.

It was very weird to say the least, but I trusted that the New tears were a part of the process.

Out of nowhere I was drawn to this video where Kate Northrup (author and truth seeker) was interviewing Meggan Watterson (author and self proclaimed spiritual misfit) on Glimpse TV.

Meggan said something so profound, and it summed up the feelings that I have been feeling during this spiritual journey.

On my spiritual journey I have felt this feeling inside that I could not define until I heard Meggan say, how do I get this ocean outside of me?

The lightbulb went off, and I said, yes that’s it!

That is what I was feeling.

That is the tension inside that I didn’t know how to express, and she had summed it up perfectly.

It’s so true. You start out on this road knowing there is so much inside, but for some reason it seems too powerful to express.

Perhaps you were told to keep quiet in the past, or maybe your sensitivity, power, and presence were not appreciated throughout your life, or maybe you hold back out of fear that if you open your heart again, someone will take your best work (your heart, your love, and your sentiments), and stomp on them.

You’ve been heartbroken in the past, and you don’t trust opening your heart again or sharing yourself freely with others. I found a quote this morning that helps remedy those feelings.

Let your heart crumble into an infinite amount of tiny, precious seeds. Then plant love everywhere you go. InstagramView On Instagram

All of the above are reasons why I haven’t allowed the ocean of love, knowledge, and compassion to flow forth from me freely. The uneasiness that I feel is that ocean inside saying, it’s time to let go, it’s time to trust, it’s time to link with your real flow, but I keep denying its powerful presence into my life.

So the vision of the waves that I received from this morning showed me that I was getting ready to finally link with information that could help me move forward in a powerful way.

It is a beautiful feeling to see that your soul and your intuition are guiding you to the information that you need to hear.

So I am on a quest now to find out – how do I get this ocean outside of me?

I have done a pretty good job by releasing some of my heart and soul into different areas (my books, my Writing Heart on Tumblr, my Instagram site, my Pinterest boards, my Soul Guidance site, etc), but I feel there is something more – something bigger, that is trying to be expressed – something profound.

I can feel it trying to break through, but I still have these walls up, and it’s having a difficult time getting in.

I realized today that now is the time to surrender to the wave, to the flow, to life, and to trust that what is coming is beautiful and will reconcile these mixed feelings and heal alot of hearts.

It’s time to surrender and really openheartedly trust the flow of life without fear, without apprehension, and without apologies.

Thank you so much for reading!

Renee B.

Intuitive Guide & Inner Work Specialist

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Inner Work – The Work That Really Matters

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I Just Had A Huge Revelation

I am telling you – if you haven’t started working with your dreams – it’s time!

I never imagined that when I sat down to decode a fairly simple dream about a small ranch house, tucked away from the street, surrounded by trees, with an office inside, that I would uncover a deep hidden fear of mine.

I got the notion today to look at my dream as my inner landscape. Immediately I saw myself as the house – tucked away – in the back – secret – away from visitors and people. I went a little deeper into the dream landscape and noticed there was an office inside. There was a lady sitting at the desk – doing a job that she hated to do.

As I explored this dream imagery, I realized that lady was me. She was me sitting in a position that I hate. I can’t stand the corporate world, but I never quite understood why until I decoded my dream literally just a half an hour ago.

I Followed My Impulses To Dig Deeper

As I explored each dream symbol, I realized that the dream was directly pointing towards my feelings towards work. You know – being in the rat race, listening to a boss, following directions.

As I trusted my instincts and wrote candidly about what I felt about each symbol, a whirlwind of emotion started to rise from me.

I followed the emotions and I asked myself – what is this about? Why the tears? Why so much tension in the body? I listened to my inner voice, my heart, my soul, and it cried out with an answer.

A Little Background

For those of you who don’t know me, I up and quit my job almost 4 years ago. I didn’t feel like I left out of anger, I just left because I felt it was the right thing for me to do at the time. I no longer felt like I belonged there.

It wasn’t an easy thing to do – trust me…

Anyway to keep a long story short, anytime I even thought about returning to the corporate world, I shut down completely. I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of it. I wanted to instead, go with my heart and passion of writing and exploring other possibilities outside of the corporate realm. My efforts to produce a business and make a living writing – failed, and I couldn’t understand why. I was (in my mind), doing what I believed I was called to do.

But through doing my inner work I could tell that something was just not right. There is no way that I was just meant to work under someone else’s rules and be a key component to someone else’s dreams, but when it came to mine – I couldn’t express it? The whole idea just didn’t feel right to me.

By Blocking What I Hated – I Blocked Everything

I hadn’t realized that I was holding something deep inside that has hindered my entire flow of abundance.

When you shut down and lock up the most sacred parts of yourself – you shut it off to everything – even the blessings that are trying to come your way.

I was writing down all the stuff I felt about every symbol and when I got to explaining why I don’t like the corporate life, I started bawling. I could barely contain myself. I blurted out,

I Don’t Want To Be Evaluated Anymore!

Man, when I said that… the tears poured out even harder.

What A Huge “Aha” Moment

If you can understand the place that I came from, you can understand why that one sentence meant everything in that moment.

As a child I had to be perfect. I couldn’t bring home anything less than a B. I couldn’t so much as even spill a drink without being reprimanded. Every moment I was being watched, evaluated, compared to someone else.

Even in the jobs that I had taken there were mid-year reviews, end of the year reviews, progress reports, sales reports, and endless ways that they could track your every fault and failure. I can’t handle that kind of pressure and evaluation.

Especially since on paper, I may not look like anything to you. On paper, without any degrees and no real training I may seem like nothing. I may only seem like I am qualified to run your errands or get your coffee – to basically be what you tell me to be or do what you tell me to do. But, I am so much more than that.

What I Learned

Coming to that realization felt like magic. It felt like 5000 pounds of pressure lifted off of me.

You see, I thought that I was just being stubborn, and even sometimes talked down to myself for holding on so doggedly to this idea of “stepping out on my own”, but now that I know why (from a deeper perspective), I can start to adjust some of my thoughts inside to allow what I really prefer to start flowing.

I also learned that if I take a step back from all of those emotions I held in, I can see that every job may not be looking to just evaluate you based on how you look on paper.

There may be a space more suited for me. Some place where they can feel who I am energetically. They can see my heart and that I am dedicated. They can see my true gifts and talents.

Once I open to that possibility and stop shutting down anything that even resembles “work”, I will start to let other opportunities that fit me – flow.

I still want to do my own thing, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Holding a grudge in my heart however, is not the way to let those other opportunities that I am looking for in.

In Closing

Man, I feel so much relief right now. I have always been interested in the self and self-discovery. To some people that may seem like a conceited path to pursue, but I am telling you, once you realize how you act, what you are, and how it creates your world (through experience), you can then go and share what you learned with others.

In addition to working with my dreams, I also went to my second home (the library) and got a few books on creativity.

I swear I think my heart and the angels are working with me to clear some major blocks. I am deeply appreciative. Without my “nosy” nature, I would have never dug this deep and would have never found what lied behind all of that frustration.

I am currently reading The Vein of Gold (A Journey To Your Creative Heart) by Julia Cameron and Setting Your Heart On Fire by Raphael Cushnir. Working with these two books and my dreams is leading me in the right direction.

I am so happy that I am able to share this insight with you all.

Thank you for reading!

P.S. Dreams are a doorway to the soul. It takes some work to get to the core of things, but it is soooo worth it. If you are interested in learning more about your dreams, head on over to my Soul Guidance Dreams website and check it out.

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