Why I Do What I Do & The Challenges That Come With It

ProtectYourDreams

IT’S NOT EASY FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.

Well that is true from my perspective anyway.

For those of you out there that follow your dreams with ease – kudos to you!

I had a dream last night that I had a discussion about with my significant other. As we talked about the dream imagery, some really deep stuff surfaced.

In addition to writing, I love to create. I love the idea of creating a positive environment that stimulates new thoughts and that inspires people to follow their dreams not matter what. What I couldn’t figure out however, was even though I am following my heart, what in the world is holding me back?

I was trying to figure out – why – when I am putting my heart on the line trying to create something positive – is something trying to squeeze the life out of me and cause me to give up?

BY DECODING MY DREAM FROM LAST NIGHT, I FOUND SOME OF THE ANSWERS.

You see, when you don’t have any positive role models around to look up to – following your dreams is very difficult. When your background says that you shouldn’t be anything but someone’s assistant – it’s no wonder that when you try to be something more than that – the grip of fear holds you back.

I am sensitive and caring by nature. So when I think of creating my art, making a living, and building a positive business from scratch, I don’t just have myself in mind – I have a broader view.

I have seen the diseases of poverty, helplessness, resentment, alcoholism, and hardened hearts claim the lives of many of my family members (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically). I have seen the female energy killed in my family by unruly, disrespectful, insensitive men. I have watched people in my family let go of their dreams to follow a righteous – socially acceptable path, and for me I have a hard time swallowing some of it.

It’s difficult to sit back and watch the people who you care about the most, suffer in their lives. It’s even more difficult when you feel that you can’t do anything about it. Because of all of that, I feel that that only thing I can do is try to prosper in my own life.

It’s no wonder though that when I try to step outside of that vicious cycle of poverty, abuse, and insensitivity – that the roots of my background snake around me and question, “where do you think you are going, who do you think you are, do you feel you are someone special or something?”

THE ANSWER IS YES.

I do think that I am meant to live a better life. I do think that I am meant to shine. I do think that despite the way some of my family members have continued to deaden their dreams, that I am meant to rise above it, but it’s not easy to do.

There are some strong females in my family. They will walk the earth strapped with their children on their backs, they will walk the line of fire to defend the ones they love, they will get down on their hands and knees to do manual labor to put a roof over our heads. Yes, they are physically strong – I give them that.

But ask them what they love to do? Ask them what has hurt them the most? Ask them where they envisioned their life going? Ask them to tell you what they are proud of? Ask them what sets their heart on fire? You’ll hear nothing but silence.

Ask them to hug you or to tell you they love you. Ask them to care for their children even after they turn 18 years old. Ask them to support you emotionally, show faith in your wildest dreams, and you will get nothing in return from them.

THE TRUTH IS – THEY DOn’t Know How TO feel and show their vulnerability.

They know how to provide. They know how to tough it out. They know how to just barely make it, but they don’t know how to show they care and that it’s okay not to be able to do it all. The women in my family are so use to being the men and fighting to survive that they don’t know what femininity means to them anymore. They don’t know what it means to let their guard down.

And then here I come – Ms. Do Good, trying to teach myself a different way, trying to show myself that it is okay to love and express, trying to prove to others that there is another way, trying to realize my dreams, trying to teach my son that he can make it no matter what, and all this time I feel like I am living a lie, because even though my heart says it’s doable – my past says it can’t be done. The negative spells (being beat down mentally) that were put on me while I was younger say, “you are out of your league – try something different”.

How is anyone supposed to work through the pull of that negativity? Especially, when no one close to her was able to do it? Where do I turn to? Who do I look up to?

Maybe some of you out there are going through the same struggle.

I HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN SOMETHING BIGGER THAN ME.

I have to have faith that my dreams are meant to be. I have to have faith that there is a part of me that is more powerful than I can imagine. I have to believe that there are angels and guides that have filled the place of those family members that were not and are not around to support me. I have to believe that the call of my heart is more important than my thoughts of doubt.

That’s the only way to make it through.

I have to believe that I have a purpose here, and despite the tug of war going on inside, it will be brought to fruition.

I appreciate anyone who stops by to read what I write. I appreciate any comment, any like, and every follow. I realize that you can be anywhere, but you have given me your time and attention, and you don’t understand how by doing that – you are helping me believe in myself. It means the world to me to have someone take the time to write a comment. It gives me hope that I should stay in this, and continue towards building my dream.

Thanks for reading!

heart Nay

Photo Source Credit 

Who’s Your “Yes”?

Yes!

Have you ever come across an individual whose presence and work just speaks to your soul?

If so, that person is your “YES”.

Your “YES” is a person that gives you permission to be yourself. Why? Because that person is a walking, living, breathing example of the kind of person you want to be. His or her artistry inspires you and makes you feel alive.

Think about it for a moment. What kind of person do you really want to be? What speaks to your soul? Besides the fancy cars, shoes, and other glittery things – what do you desire deep within you? What are your core values?

Security? Freedom? A Place To Call Home? Connection?

Sometimes we don’t even know what we truly desire until another comes along showing us exactly what our “YES” is.

So I want to know, who’s your “Yes”?

Who’s an example of the kind of person you want to be, has the life you want to live, and inspires you to the depths of your soul?

I met a person today, and when I say met – I mean that my intuition led me to Danielle LaPorte’s website. This entire post was inspired by one #truthbomb that she had on her website.

www.daniellelaporte.com

My soul was then struck by two more #truthbombs.

http://www.daniellelaporte.com/ http://www.daniellelaporte.com/

My spirit just jumped for joy! I scrolled through the rest of her #truthbombs, and I couldn’t believe what I had found. I mean her presence, her demeanor, her depth, her passion, and everything rang right through me. It was as if the heavens opened up and sang “ahhhhhhhh”. Let me tell you something – if you haven’t been to her website – you need to go. After you’re done reading this post of course (hahahaha).

After I clicked through each of her sections in awe, I settled down and thought to myself – I am, what I found. Her passion, her insight, her wisdom, her beauty, and her grace – all of those things are within me. I desire to strike someone’s spirit the way that she struck mine.

Danielle LaPorte Is My “YES”

Danielle LaPorte

Author | Motivational Speaker | Entrepreneur

She’s my “YES” because she’s raw, honest, personable, & passionate.

www.daniellelaporte.com

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Lisa Price Is My “YES”

Lisa Price

Founder Of Carol’s Daughter

She’s my “YES” because she’s creative, beautiful, inspiring, & followed her dreams.

www.carolsdaughter.com

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Shantell Martin Is My “YES”

Shantell Martin

Visual Artist

She’s my yes because she’s edgy, divinely inspired, & makes a living drawing on everything.

www.shantellmartin.com

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Lou Niestadt Is My “YES”

Lou Niestadt

Author | Illustrator

She’s my yes because she works from home, loves her family, & creates from the heart.

www.louniestadt.com

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Marie Forleo Is My “YES”

Marie Forleo

Best-Selling Author | Mentor | Creator Of MarieTV

She’s my yes because she’s cool, confident, & teaches others how to create the life they love.

www.marieforleo.com

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So spill it – who’s your “YES”?

Go to the top of the post and click “leave a comment” to reveal who your “YES” is. If you prefer to post a response on your own blog, just add the words “Who’s Your Yes” somewhere in the post and link back to this post.

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Thanks for reading!

finished-heart Nay