Internal Bullying

Internal Bullying

What Is Internal Bullying?

It’s a process that goes on inside of you, that stifles your creativity, your movement, and your progression to the new and better life that awaits you.

Some Of You Are Fully Aware Of Its Presence.

Think about it – that moment that you go to do something new, and the little voice inside tells you that you better not do it. The voice that has you doubting your ability to perform because of some past failure. The voice that can’t see anything good in you at all, and that wants you to know that you f*cked up in a major way, and you better not even think about forgiving yourself for what you did. It’s the voice inside that spends its days making your life a living hell just because.

It’s so funny because there could be a part of you that has grown and and that wants you to see your situation in a different light. You may even be ready to heal and move on from the incident, but there is something else inside that just will not let you forget what happened. It’s not even that it’s just a nuisance – it goes around and spreads its virus through each area of your life.

As a result, you end up questioning your gut instincts, denying yourself the freedom to choose new things, and you also end up questioning your integrity and your entire path in life.

In your heart you know you are meant to be free. In your heart you know that things are meant to work out for you, but there is this internal bully that stops you at the gates. It doesn’t want you to pass. It wants you to remain helpless, hopeless, and feeling like nothing.

Why?

Because somewhere in your life, you made a mistake that you thought was unforgivable, unfixable, and unresolvable. So this energy took that opinion that you concluded about yourself and made it into your worst nightmare.

It doesn’t show up full forced and ready for war. No, it wouldn’t want you to see its craziness and catch on to what it’s doing to you. Instead, it shows up as a negative thought here and there. It moves into your space stealthily, and sabotages your thoughts of success.

Think about the times when you are thinking about following your heart. Following your heart should be a no brainer. It should be something that is automatic and unquestionable, but how often do you question if the decision to follow your gut, your inner promptings, and your intuition was correct?

That’s Internal Bullying.

If you have to question if you can be free to honor your life’s calling, follow your bliss, and put your best foot out into the world – you have some serious internal bullying going on – make no mistake about it.

Your heart knows what that heartless energy is doing to you, but you sometimes have to step outside of yourself to recognize it. That’s why there are so many teachers, aids, angels, and guides out there pointing you in the right direction. They are around because sometimes we can’t see what the problem is. We are constantly asking for the solution,  but we don’t recognize what the problem is.

When We Seek Outside Help, We Are Asking For One Thing and One Thing Only – Validation.

We want to know that we are worthy, relevant, heard, and that the choices we are making for our life are the right ones. If we dig a little deeper we will discover that what we are really looking for is a sense of resolve within ourselves. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your mother saying, “okay sweetie give it one more try”. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your pastor saying, “it’s okay, repent, and go on about your life”. Sometimes that sense of resolve comes from your child looking into your eyes and offering you a smile that says, “Mom I love you, no matter what road you decide to take”.

The way to stop internal bullying is to make the decision to trust your instincts, follow your own path, and trust that in following your heart, the rest will work itself out. You can also find peace within yourself about your decisions. You don’t have to be bullied off your path. You want more? You go for it, and don’t give up until you see it into fruition.

Your Path Is To Trust Your Intuition & To Follow Your Heart.

It’s gonna wear different clothes sometimes, and lead you to different places, but the ultimate feeling that chasing your dreams is trying to get you to embody is the feeling that you belong here and that you deserve joy and fulfillment. There are endless paths to the feeling of joy, so choice one that feels right to you, and see where it takes you.

Thank you for reading!

heart Nay

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Cut Your Hair Or Face Expulsion

Vanessa Vandyke

What Is Wrong With This Picture?

Absolutely nothing! This is a beautiful young girl who is an honor student at Faith Christian Academy in Orlando, Florida. According to the Huffington Post Article, Vanessa VanDyke (shown above) was told to cut her natural hair or leave the academy.

This is not the first time that school officials have chosen “hair” to determine the validity of a young black child. Just a couple of months ago Tiana Parker, age 7 (shown below), had to switch schools because she was forbidden to wear her dreadlocks. She was told that her hairstyle wasn’t presentable for the school.

Tiana Parker

Emotional About This

Just yesterday I was scheduled to interview with a company. Back in July I shaved my hair because it was growing unevenly. I now have somewhat of a mini afro. Before I went on the interview I had to decide what to do with my hair. I am not ashamed of my mini fro, I just know that in the professional world they expect you to look a certain way. So the only other alternative was to cornrow my hair (pictures will follow). I thought about it and that’s what I decided to do.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I even had to consider altering my natural hairstyle to fit into the professional world. Even after I braided my hair, I still had some qualms about if I would be “accepted” or not.

This Is Not Just A Black Thing

There aren’t that many things that burn me up inside. When I saw the article about this little girl told to cut her hair or face expulsion I was angry. I cannot stand to see people, especially young children, being picked on or undervalued because of what they look like. I have a huge heart for diversity and freedom. I cannot stand the thought of people picking on or beating down people for their differences. It is just something that doesn’t sit right within me. So, I had to say something about it.

Bringing Awareness To This Issue

I think that what needs to be done about this is to just spread the word. Information travels fast in this day and age. I agree that some rules need to be in place to have organizations run smoothly. I have nothing against business owners, school administrators, and people in head positions having some kind of rules in place to keep their organization orderly. My only problem with the rules is that, you can’t shift and cater them against certain people. We are all ONE PEOPLE. Whether you like it or not. Get used to.

What choice does this little girl’s mother have? Tell her to cut her hair and deny who she is or yank her from that damn school? What choice are they giving her? If she makes her daughter cut her hair, she is telling her to deny who she is. If she yanks her out of the school she then has a problem with the laws that say that she has to be in school in the first place. The other solution is to just find another school that accepts her the way she is. That may just be the best way to go.

We have to be careful about what message we are sending out into the world. I can’t imagine what these two young ladies feel like inside to be told – you aren’t good enough for our establishment- because of your hair.

Words Of Encouragement

Both of these young ladies are beautiful. They should not have to change their hair to fit in. We need to stop being so concerned about what is on the outside and see what is on the inside. I am an adult who sees how difficult it is to fit into certain parts of society; no child should ever have to feel like that. It’s too much for an adult. I can only imagine what it must feel like for a child.

Be Yourself. You Are Worthy and Relevant in this world. Maybe not in certain clubs or schools, but God breathed life into you. In God’s eyes, you are meant to be – just as you are! {Renee Brooks}

Perhaps some people did not hear India Arie’s message – I Am Not My Hair. So for those who haven’t heard it. Take a listen. You might learn something.

finished-heart Renee

This is me below… Is My Hair Unprofessional or distracting or would you see past my hair?

Questions For The Reader

What Do You Think Her Mother Should Do?

Have You Faced A Similar Situation?

Is Faith Christian Academy Doing The Right Thing?

Are People Making Too Much Of A Big Deal About This?

Leave Your Comments Below.

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