We are sexual creatures by nature.
By sexual, I don’t mean that we go around sleeping with a bunch of people. When I say sexual, I mean creative, indulgent, sensual creatures. I am not just referring to the act of physical sex.
I find my self struggling sometimes with being sexual by nature, and then in my work being “spiritual”.
I think sometimes we equate spirituality with sacrifice, giving, nurturing others, and being submissive.
We rarely equate spirituality with the flow of receiving, indulging, and accepting.
The problem that it creates, is one where you find yourself giving, giving, and giving, and then when it comes time to receive the other side of the flow – you find yourself blocked. Sexual energy in totality is not just about giving and creating, it is also about receiving and enjoying.
I am sensual, I am deep, I love intimacy, but something about that approach to say “my work” feels wrong to me (too personal, too open, and too much sharing).
There is a part of myself that is afraid to share in my work because I might appear to be “too open” or “too out there” in my thoughts or my methods of sharing.
In other words, I feel like I can’t be the full “me”.
I find myself denying a very intimate part of my nature because I am in the spiritual field.
With the intuitive work that I do, I believe that I am required to have a level of openness that can really penetrate to the core of people, but what do you do when you feel like you have to cover that very sensual and private part of yourself because you are in the “spiritual business”.
I guess I am just trying to sort some thoughts out here.
I think to some, my energy comes across as awkward or mysterious. It might come across that way because I really do want those soul-shaking conversations, deep thoughts, and intimacy in my work, but there is a part of me that also holds back because I feel that level of intimacy should not be touched in “spiritual work”.
Does anyone relate to what I am speaking about?
Thanks for reading!