Inner Work – Rebuilding Yourself

rebuilding

Some of us have foundations that we can no longer live with.

The damage is so bad in some areas that we can no longer call someone else to patch the problem up for us.

There may be skilled workers who have even told you that you need to rebuild, but instead you have put tape over areas that need to be completely excavated.

There may have been earth angels in the form of humans who have told you that the land is nice, but the structure that your house was built upon is old, unstable, and in need of repair.

Sometimes (bless our hearts), we can’t hear it.

It takes alot for some of us to realize that although our parents meant well, they may have steered us off course. It takes alot for us to realize that our teachers were just doing their job, but not teaching their hearts. It takes alot for us to realize that although our family and friends mean well, their opinions of our life stem from a place of fear and not of love.

The point that I am trying to make here, is that we don’t realize the power that others have over our life. Everything that we were taught, all the stories we were told, and all the opinions that were offered to us, shaped who we have become. It built our character. Every “no”, every “you can’t”, and every “are you crazy” got engrained into our system.

It shows up in the way that we approach our intimacy, in the way that we create our art, in the way we withhold ourselves from those we say we love. It shows up in the sneakiest ways. The desires that got buried within us during our childhood lurk underneath the surface, threatening to swallow us whole if we dare take peek to see what might be there.

What’s worse is that the call of our spirit is pulling us in the right direction and because we have that tension inside we think there’s something wrong with us.

We shun our desires, our hopes, and dreams because they don’t fit with what we were taught. We give up on our passions because it’s not what “our father” wanted us to be. We stuff our emotions because society expects you to have it all together, keep it all together, and not show any sign of the contrary.

What a miserable way to live!

It’s time to rebuild yourself, and only you can do it.

I’ve known for a long time that it was time to gut my whole foundation. It consisted of too many heartbreaks, too many disappointments, and too many rejections. It spoke nothing of the true me. Why hang on to something that does not make you feel your absolute best? Why hang on to something that kills you inside a little more – every time you think about it? Out of loyalty? Out of respect? Out of cherishing a memory?

We are all taught to never forget, but too often we link that with “hold on to this and don’t let it go”, even though it may be time to let it go.

The rebuilding process takes alot of work.

It does. Trust me.

I liken the process to building a house. There’s alot of workers involved. Each skilled in their particular area. You want the process to go as smoothly as possible, but there are some bumps along the way. You have to learn to trust the process; which is not easy for some of us.

It’s an annoyance not to be able to see the fruition of your work right away.

It’s a headache when things don’t go according exactly to plan, but the goal is to keep your eyes on the prize.

The journey of rebuilding yourself is tough sometimes. You go through your closets and you want to keep your old stuff, but it’s time sweetheart – it’s time.


You feel anger when you have spent more time and energy than you wanted to spend, but keep your eyes on the prize.

What is the prize?

The prize is a brand new you.

The prize is you being able to not only understand what love is, but to also allow and give it.

The prize is you offering yourself respect, the benefit of the doubt, and space for your real dreams to grow.

The prize is you looking in the mirror and not turning away from who you see.

The prize is you not second guessing your intuition and your strength.

You are capable of giving yourself all of the things that you never received when you were young. You are capable of nurturing yourself enough to let your dreams grow.

Too often we give that power over to someone else.

We look around for the person who hurt us sometimes when they are dead and gone.

We expect the person who broke our heart to come back and apologize when they have moved on with their life.

We expect those who have done us wrong to show up and right that wrong, when in reality, they aren’t even thinking about what they did to you because some don’t see it in the way that you do.

If we only realized we have the power to rebuild ourselves.

Your not looking for their apology. You are looking for permission. Permission to move on, permission to listen to yourself, permission to allow yourself the space to grow.

No one else can start this process for you. And if you have already started it, no one else can finish it for you. You have to see it through. The rewards are plenty.

You’ll be a new person. A person that accepts compliments, that’s open and receptive, someone that’s eager to give, slow to anger, and a shining light for all to see.

The process is somewhat painful, confusing, and downright earth shattering at times to excavate years of damage, but once it’s done you can once and for all, be comfortable with the person that you’ve become. Then that will translate in your work, in your art, in your heart, in your relationships, and in all the rest of your life.

The prize is worth the journey.

Happy Rebuilding!

P.S. This is another post inspired by the dream I had last night. The information that is coming through from decoding my dreams is alot to try and put into words, but I am up for the challenge. If you are interested in exploring the meaning of your dreams, head on over to my Soul Guidance Dreams blog and check it out.

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