A Sneak Peek @ What I’m Working On

Soul Guidance

Excerpt From The New Book I Am Writing – {Soul Guidance – Finding Your Way Home}

For years, I could never quite figure out who I was or why I was put on this earth. I felt deep inside that I never quite fit into society’s ideas of me. A hard-worker, a good student, a team leader, an employee, a misfit, and a failure (to some) – all of those things were valid about me, to some extent. They didn’t however, describe what my soul knew about me.

I felt inside that there had to be more to life than just a 9 to 5. There had to be more to life than just being called a “good employee”. There had to be more to life than getting good grades just to save my ass. I never really learned anything in the classroom anyway. I memorized everything, repeated it over and over, and held a mental picture in my mind of the answers the night before most tests. I was never interested in the subjects that we studied. My motivation for getting good grades was for one reason and one reason only, to be seen as a good student in the eyes of my grandmother, my peers, and my teachers. That’s it.

Life’s burning questions were never answered in a classroom – for me – ever.

I went through the motions of participating in work and school because they were “the things I had to do” rather than “the things that stirred my soul”. For me, those things were never burning desires of mine. I wanted a paycheck – that’s why I went to work. I didn’t want to be seen as a failure – that’s why I stayed at my job way past its season. I wanted to make my grandmother proud – that’s why I got good grades in school.

There was something eating away at me. All of those years, doing all of those things, that I never really loved to do. Doing things that I could care less about just for the sake of paying the bills and getting recognition. Participating in acts of kindness because I thought God would favor me more and possibly relieve me from some of the pain that I was experiencing. Saying yes to things that I never really wanted to do, and giving people attention that didn’t deserve even a second of my time. All of those things, just to fit in.

Just recently, I found out that my soul has a different opinion of me. I was not meant to be a people pleaser, a person who fit in, a person who abided by all the rules, a person whose identity was wrapped in a job title, a person whose yes ma’ams and no ma’ams weren’t spoken out of respect, but out of fear of being reprimanded or seen as rude.

I was meant to be free. I was meant to do my own thing. To dig, probe, and search until I found what felt right for me.

I didn’t fit into society’s titles of me because I was on my way to becoming something I never thought of. I was on my way to becoming a soul writer – a writer who writes from the depths of their soul. But to do that, I had to let go of all of my preconceived notions about myself. I had to stop seeing myself as a failure because I didn’t go the same route as everyone else. I had to let go of everything that I thought defined me (a job, money, status, and family approval).

I had to stand naked and vulnerable in the mirror, with everything stripped away, and realize that none of those things were me. I had to stop seeing myself as less than, worthless, and useless. I had to stop comparing myself to other writers and measuring myself against their accomplishments. I had to know – I had everything I needed inside of me.

It all resides inside. There is nothing outside of you that you need to move forward. There is nothing outside of you that you need to bring your deepest desires to the surface. There is nothing outside of you that you need to meet your own soul. The discovery is mind-blowing, and for me – I have just started to scratch the surface.

My soul has tried to reach me through many different avenues, but I shied away afraid of what it would reveal to me. I thought that my soul would be like the others. The ones who told me that I needed to be responsible in life. And by responsible I mean follow a certain path to security. I thought my soul would chew me out for simply wanting to work from home. I thought my soul would reprimand me for wanting to work alone and for not wanting to be part of a group, but my soul said none of those things.

My soul said, “I know you deeply and intimately. I know your burning desires, and I know the person that you don’t know. I know the person that is able to find her own way. I know the person that is able to carve her own path out of life. I know the person who stands confidently in her own, and doesn’t give a damn about another person’s opinion. I know her. Would you like to meet her? If so, just breathe, calm down, center yourself, and I will guide you to her.”

Through writing this book and following my intuition I am opening up to new levels of myself. It feels so good to feel things fall into place – to feel my soul tell me “you’re hired” after years of feeling “unemployed”. I am hired to write this book. To allow the unfolding of this new piece in a way that is beneficial to me and all others that will come in contact with this work.

I am hired to say how I really feel and to feel no qualms or embarrassment about it. I am hired to open my heart to all who will listen, to speak my soul, and to find my way to the easiness of my life.

I am hired and what a joy it is!

My soul reminds me that easy and steady is the way. So there is no time limit to this new piece of work. When I am inspired I will write. Whether it be at 4:00 am or in the middle of me doing the dishes – either way when my soul calls – I will write.

I am being divinely guided and inspired and that is what I would like to feel everyday for the rest of my life.

To write words that have never been written…

To touch the heart in a way it has never been touched…

To penetrate to the core of all who read my work…

That is my mission.

finished-heart Nay

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