I’m A Mom!
I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since my last post. Wow, how time flies! Alot has transpired in that amount of time, and I am blown away at how quickly life can change. I stand here in disbelief as I look at my son and remember the article that I wrote not too long ago about being unwed, having no children, and being unemployed. In what seems like the blink of an eye – the “no children” part of my life was replaced with great joy!
On August 13th, 2014 I gave birth to my first born, NOAH. In addition to the other titles I hold in life (writer, blogger, self-published author), I can also add Mother to the list! I have always wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I can finally say that, that dream has come true. I never thought that I would have children later in life. According to my plan, I was going to graduate high school, go to college, get a good paying job, get married, buy a home, and have two kids by at least the age of 25.
Ummmm yea, it’s funny how things don’t turn out the way that we see them in our heads.
I did graduate high school, but that “college, nice house, married and 2 kids by 25 dream” did not happen. I am 31 years old and I just had my son. It’s funny how life turns out so differently than the way that you plan it. I have no complaints right now though. I am sooooo happy that I did not have children early. It takes ALOT to raise a child. I am not just talking about financially, I am talking about mentally, emotionally, and physically. I don’t think that I could have handled having two kids at age 25. I had to be ready, and I am so glad that God had a different plan for me.
I Don’t Want To Just Be A Mom – I Want To Be A Great Mom
I now have the son that I have always wanted, and with that comes wanting the best for him. He is 2 months old, and he looks up at me with such eyes of wonder and excitement. His stare sometimes seems like he’s waiting to absorb my words or waiting for me to teach him something new about life. My response to his innocent wonder is a teary eyed look back in his direction because sometimes I feel there is no way that I can give him all that I feel he deserves.
I, myself, am trying to find out where I fit in, in this life. I have not the slightest idea how to teach him the ropes of life – so to speak. I haven’t mastered life, and honestly I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to satisfying that curious look in his eyes.
I do know however that I have plenty of love to give him. There will not be a day that goes by that he doesn’t receive a kiss good night and good morning from me. There won’t be a day that goes by that he cries for my attention, and I am not there. There won’t be a day that goes by that he doesn’t know how special he is to me, and how just his smile brightens up my whole day.
My Real New Role
My new role is not to just be a mother. My real new role is to be a listener, to be a protector, to share my failures with him and my successes, to be honest with him, to let him know that the road is not always easy, to let him know that it’s okay to be himself (always). My new role is to be his comforter in times of sorrow or pain. To be his cheerleader when he’s at his highest point and his shoulder to cry on when he’s at his lowest.
Honestly, I know that all mothers wish they could go ahead of their children and place little markers along the way that warns them what to stay away from, and that eases them towards what is most fulfilling. I wish I could! I wish I had a GPS that told me exactly where my son was going. I would prepare the way so that it was the most comfortable and so that he wouldn’t get his heart broken or experience too much pain along the way.
As a mother, I don’t ever want him to feel any pain, but I know that, that is not possible. He is going to go through things that I cringe at just the thought of, but I will be there to love him through whatever it is that he experiences.
The Hardest Job In The World
It’s funny how for that past few years I have called myself unemployed. Now I can say that I am a stay-at-home mom. There is no job on the face of this earth that is more difficult than being a mother. It’s not only that you tend to the house, do the cleaning, and make sure the ship runs smoothly. It’s that you do all of that and do not get a dime for it.
Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything and everything for my son, and I don’t need any money in return. I love providing (in whatever way I can for him). The point that I am trying to make however is that sometimes mothers are taken for granted. It’s not that we ask for anything in return it’s just that it’s nice to hear “thank you” sometimes. It’s nice to see that all the love and nurturing that we put into the household and raising the children is appreciated sometimes.
Imagine getting spit up on several times a day, changing dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, hearing your name called 50 times an hour, getting no sleep, being looked at to provide all the solutions to every problem, with no pay, no vacation, and no time off. It’s a difficult thing to do. It’s not easy at all, and although I am not at the stage where I hear my name called 50 times a day, I know plenty of mothers who are. But I am a mom who gets very little to no sleep and that’s expected to clean and cook and keep everything else together.
For me, it’s easier than some others because my significant other appreciates all that I do, and helps out tremendously, but there are some mothers out there who do not receive the thanks that they deserve. I want to say,
“You’re A Warrior and Thank You For All You Do!”
I am excited to see where this new chapter in my life is headed. I appreciate the entire pregnancy experience. It was beautiful and I wouldn’t trade my son for anything in the world. I love the idea that he is an infinite ball of possibility, and that he can be, do, or have anything in this life that he desires. My job is to just be there to encourage the best out of him at all times. Sometimes, I don’t think I have what it takes to raise a child, but other times I breathe easy knowing that if I didn’t have what it took – Noah wouldn’t be here. So I must step boldly and confidently in the direction of all I desire and that itself will teach him all he needs to know in order to do the same.
Thank you so much for reading!