Pieces Of My Writing Heart

Pieces Of My Writing Heart

Living From The Heart Day 10

Sometimes I don’t know what to do with this mangled heart of mine. There are pieces of me that were crushed by things that you would consider small. Pieces of me ripped away from their sense of security and belonging. I ask God sometimes, “what do you want with me? What can you do with these shattered pieces?”

In me resides broken dreams, unanswered prayers, and deep longings. Some of these things are hard to remember in detail, but I still feel their ghostly presence. I hear the faint whisper from them encouraging the most discouraging thoughts. There are also pieces of my heart that I cannot let go of. Those things are not easy to forget. They travel along with me everywhere that I go.

It is luggage that I carry along with me, and in return – refuses to get lost. They are remnants of that last good-bye that I never got to say, missed opportunities, failed relationships, and unhealthy exchanges. I can’t seem to shake some things loose. I see the things that I couldn’t fix as failures.

What To Do With These Pieces God?

I have many times tried to delete them – like I do to files on the computer that I no longer want.

But time after time again, life has proven that these files are un-deletable. Delete Delete Delete. Damn it; it doesn’t work.

For those of you who are out there trying that same method , let me save you some trouble. You can’t just get rid of the pieces of your life and heart that you don’t want. I’ve tried it.

So Again God, What To Do With These Pieces?

God responds to me in a gentle tone. I call this voice God because it just seems friendlier than my normal. Easier and more tenderhearted and approving of my missteps.

Well, you’ve always liked writing. Why not be vulnerable? Why not say what you feel? Why not let it out on some pages? There is relief and healing in expressing…

God Then Continues

You’ve always liked hearing inspirational stories. Why not create a few of your own?

You’ve always liked to talk around those you are most comfortable with. Why not write your heart out and let those who are comfortable with your essence find you?

You’ve always loved beautiful things. Why not create a space where you can observe beauty, the things that inspire you, and make you see the other side of the world? A space where people who feel just like you can go to take their mind off of their trouble, if only for a few moments a day. It will feel like eternity to them.

Don’t Try To Throw Yourself Away

You don’t have to throw your pieces away. They are the makeup of you.

They are what built your compassion. What helps you relate to what other people are going through.

Your struggles are what help you find solutions for those just like you who have felt lost.

But What If They Don’t Want My Pieces?

What if they don’t want to hear what I have to say? I am no expert or celebrity.

Just let your light shine anyway. No matter how small you “think” it is. Anyone can write words that people read. Maybe I am sharping your tools so that you can write words that people “actually hear”.

So Why So Many Tears God?

Tears water the soil.

Why Do I Feel So Sad Sometimes?

Sadness helps you feel joy after a while.

I Should Be Happy All The Time?

I am in a great position to express. Why don’t I feel that way all the time?

Because you want so bad to fit in, when all I want you to do is spread out.

You may never know whose watching. That one follower could know a lot of people. That one *like* could be the one that needs you or the one that you need.

God Finishes

Keep writing from your heart, and I will see to it that your broken pieces are mended. It may not always be in the way that you want it, but it’s always in the way that is needed.

{Love God}

Sign

I wrote this article to show you why I write down what I feel and why I share these stories with you. It is healing sometimes for me to put a story to something that has broken my heart or to my feelings. Hopefully by seeing these stories you can take something away from my experiences. It’s not easy living from the heart at first. You are naked and feel like an baby that’s in a big new world. This is me, taking the things that hurt me the most or that fulfilled me and recording them. I am shining a light on some of my pains and some of my successes.

I don’t claim to be a guru or anyone that could even help you with your problems, but what I do know is that many days in my life I was in a very dark place. There were many times when I wanted to throw myself away. Literally, I wanted to end it all. There is a part of me that doesn’t want me to go yet. Not holding on to all of this pain in my heart. So everyday God shows me new pieces.

Pieces of my own shattered heart. God shines a light on them, which helps me write about them. My writing might not mean anything to anyone else, but it means everything to me. It helps me breathe. It helps me feel like I have something to share with this world and it helps me {even if for only a few moments a day} make sense of the pieces that I sometimes want to throw away.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

finished-heart Nay

Any Stories? I Would Love To Hear From You!

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