Living From The Heart Day 9
I like coffee; I really do, but some people cannot live without it.
Coffee is not my drug of choice.
Coca Cola Is What I Was Addicted To
There really is no difference between coffee and coke. You, the coffee drinker and I, the coca cola drinker have a bad habit. I know how it feels to reach for that substance that gives you the feeling that you want. It’s instant gratification, pure bliss, love in a can, or a coffee cup – in your case. Indulging is not a bad thing when done every once in a while, it’s when you can’t sleep without thinking about that thing, person, or substance that there’s a problem. It’s when you start giving that substance or person the power to make you happy that there’s a problem.
When coffee, drugs, soda, lovers, etc become an obsession, it’s probably about time to admit there is a problem.
Getting To The Heart Of Addiction
To put it plan and simple, when we are addicted to something, it’s not the substance that we are reaching for. It’s the feeling it gives us.
Think about the lover you know is no good for you, but you keep going back to him or her. Think about waking up at 7 am and reaching for the bottle of Whiskey that you left on the counter from the night before. Think about those 4 cups of coffee that you drink during the day. All these things have something in common. They are temporary fillers.
In order to nip addiction in the butt you have to ask yourself.
What feeling is this substance giving me, that I feel I cannot conjure within myself?
You are saying to yourself – I cannot conjure this feeling without this substance. The substance is just a symbol for a need that is not being met internally. People always say to look within. I must admit, that very phrase use to drive me mad.
What the hell are you talking about… look inside? Do you know how many times I’ve closed my eyes and saw blackness. I didn’t find anything there damn it.
I’m being a little dramatic, but you get the point.
My interpretation of look inside means instead of reaching for someone or something to fulfill you from the external world, you have to find the qualities within yourself that make you feel valuable, powerful, satisfied, and alive. I use to reach for coca cola when I was stressed. It was something about popping that can open and feeling the instant relief from the fuzzy suds hitting my throat. I just love it. However, the underlying cause of me reaching for that substance was me wanting to feel relief.
Now why couldn’t I conjure up the feeling of relief without that soda? Maybe I was being too hard on myself and all I had to do was forgive a situation that I may have been going through. That would be conjuring the feeling of relief within. I wouldn’t have felt the tension and then I wouldn’t have had to reach for the substance to satisfy that temporary negativity.
Addiction could be in another form too – how about being addicted to holding onto the past. For some reason we find it so hard to forgive ourselves. We take it hard that someone has hurt us or left us. We, as in human beings, get hurt so easily. This hurt and pain give us the reasons to believe we are less desirable, unwanted, unfulfilled, stressed, and powerless. Those unwanted feelings then cause us to reach for something that we think we want instead of addressing the unmet need inside. Think about being overweight. We are using the weight to hold onto something from the past that hurt us. Why accept that weight as an excuse not to love yourself. That behavior stems from us holding onto something someone said or did to us. That too is an addiction. I am not saying that everyone who is overweight is refusing to let go of something, I am just saying that there are a lot of people who are.
I Am Here To Say – It’s Time To Let It Go
Whatever the addiction may be.
If you mess up. So what, try again. Don’t put too much thought into it. Understand what addiction is. Understand that you have the power within you to fulfill yourself by your internal thoughts, by conjuring feelings of worthiness and power, by seeing the good in yourself even when your “inner critic” calls you a little devil.
I am not saying not to indulge or get what you want. I am saying that it shouldn’t be an obsession, a distraction, or a temporary filler. There is a way to fulfill yourself without reaching for an external substance or circumstance. There is value inside of us to discover. There are parts of us that we don’t know about yet. There are pieces of our puzzle that have yet to be found. It’s such a bigger high to dig within and find internal value than to give credit to something that had very little to do with the equation at all. There is so much value within. We are more than we “think” we are. There is a way to fall so in love with yourself that you will never need a substance to make you “feel” a certain way again.
Everything is energy. Everything! The next time you reach for your drug of choice – be it soda, coffee, a lover, etc – ask yourself… Am I using this as an excuse not to look within?
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