Today Has Been Bizarre
For those of you who are following my posts for this 30 day challenge, you probably know that I haven’t been able to fall asleep for the past 5 days. My body said to me today, “good night”, and laid itself down to rest without my consent. It’s not that I wasn’t exhausted from being up staring at the ceiling for the past 5 days, it’s just that my body doesn’t seem to agree with the time periods that I would like to go to sleep.
On top of my fickle a** body not falling to sleep when I want it to, it also went HAM on me today. I mean my body feels like it’s going to war with itself. I feel like I have a fever, mixed with dizziness, mixed with inner turmoil. I don’t know what is going on. This year I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but I think that it’s more than that.
Mind vs. Body
For some reason my body is not agreeing with my mind, and my personality and life is stuck in the middle of it. If I told you that I feel like electricity is being passed through my body, would you believe me? If I told you that I can feel energy in my home that is not very nice, would you believe me? If I told you that I can sense things deeply, would you believe me?
I think in some way life is trying to reveal my gifts to me, but my mind and body is rejecting this strange energy. I don’t know if spirits are trying to contact me, if the devil is trying to eat me alive, or if my senses are just extra sensitive. Whatever this strange energy is… I wish it would go away.
I feel like I am possessed by something sometimes.
I’ve been having dreams that predicted things that were going to happen throughout my day, I can tell what some people are going to say before they say it, I get glimpses of things and then all of a sudden that same thing will show up on the TV. I am obviously picking up on something. The only thing is… I don’t think I want to anymore. LOL. I just want to go back to my normal life when all of this perception and hypersensitivity didn’t mean a thing to me. I can also feel a lot of pressure over the bridge of my nose. It’s just bizarre. I don’t know how to explain it or get rid of it. I just wish it would go away.
Dear God – Please Make It Just Go Away
When I woke up, after hours of sleep, I started cleaning. I was in a really really bad mood though. Almost like something was taking over me. I can’t explain it. I was dragging my feet around, reluctantly putting stuff back in its proper place, and whining the entire time.
I decided that if I was going to stop the downward spiral of emotions I was going to have to make a conscious decision to try to get in a better mood.
After an hour or so, I made love to my man and some of the tension went away. My body was obviously craving some kind of physical connection. It helped a lot with the mood.
Although I am not 100% right now, I am sure that with doing some research, making a conscious decision to feel better, and taking things step by step I will get better.
If you have any input… PLEASE do not hesitate to reply below.
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